Building your family

In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa Schuman, LCSW sits down with Dr. Jessica Gray, a physician who has lived through infertility, miscarriage, and the intense pressures of medical training on her way to motherhood. Jessica shares how a stressful childhood shaped her resilience, what it was like to face endometriosis and IVF as both a doctor and a patient, and how she coped when a long‑ho...

If you’re single or in a relationship that isn’t working and you’re quietly Googling “single motherhood by choice,” this episode is for you. In this conversation with SMBC fertility doctor Alexis Melnick, MD, we walk through 5 clear steps to help you decide before your back is against the wall. We cover both paths: staying on the relationship track and exploring single motherhood by choice on your...

In honor of Pride, this episode is a love letter to queer family building. I’ve pulled my favorite moments from conversations with LGBTQ+ parents, a fertility doctor, a midwife, a donor‑conceived person, and queer influencers who’ve built their families through donor conception and surrogacy. Together, they share how they answer intrusive questions, how they talk to their kids about donors and sur...

Re-released for Pride 2026 — In loving memory of Bret Hanna-Shuford (1979–2026) In this beloved episode, I sit down with Bret Shuford and Stephen Hanna — the Broadway Dads — to talk about one of the most heartfelt and hard-won family-building journeys I’ve ever witnessed. Together, these two Broadway performers navigated egg donation, surrogacy, financial challenges, a lost match, a miscarriage, a...

What does it really look like to build a queer family today – with donor conception, infertility, and non‑biological parenting in the mix? In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa sits down with long‑time queer family advocate and podcast host of the Queer Family Podcast, Jaimie Kelton to talk honestly about infertility, the emotional weight of genetics, and the many paths LGBTQ+ families tak...

Re-released for Pride 2026 — Because this conversation never gets old What does it actually feel like to need a donor to build your family? How do you choose the right one? What does the medical process look like — and what does the emotional process look like? In this rare co-author conversation, I put these questions to Dr. Mark Leondires, Founder and Medical Director of Illume Fertility and Gay...

She was only 25 and already knew something was wrong. If you have one child and are secretly struggling to have another, this episode is for you. Margarita’s story of secondary infertility and PCOS shows what happens when “just keep trying” isn’t good enough. In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa Schuman sits down with Margarita Lainez to talk about the often overlooked reality of secondar...

If you’ve been told “this is just your protocol,” “we’ll just try again,” or “everything looks fine” while IVF keeps failing, this episode is for you. Standard IVF works for many people, but not for everyone. So what happens when you don’t fit the usual box? In this conversation, I’m joined by Dr. Pietro Bortoletto, reproductive endocrinologist at Terra Fertility. He trained at Northwestern, Brigh...

Unexplained infertility. Failed cycles. Constant “what ifs” about plastics, products, and the environments we live in. We’re surrounded by headlines about “toxins” and especially worried about how they might affect fertility, but almost no one teaches us how to think clearly about any of it. In this episode, Lisa Schuman, LCSW, talks with Dr. John Warner, a founder of Green Chemistry, about how ev...

If you’re building your family through donor conception and one of you is not genetically related to your child, this episode is for you. Lisa Schuman, LCSW, unpacks the real emotional challenges non-genetically related parents face: jealousy, insecurity, fear of being “less than,” and the quiet worry about connection and bonding. She walks you through five key suggestions for navigating these fee...

Most people only meet a fertility specialist in crisis mode. In this episode, Dr. Shefali Shastri, Clinical Director and Physician Partner at RMA New Jersey, explains what proactive fertility actually looks like. Dr. Shastri is a board‑certified reproductive endocrinologist who has helped bring thousands of babies into the world since joining RMA New Jersey in 2009. Inspired by her OB/GYN mother,...

National Infertility Awareness Week is about more than awareness posts. It is about whose stories get heard, who gets left out, and how we turn lived experience into better policy for everyone building their family. In this episode, I’m joined by Danielle, the new CEO of RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. We talk about what RESOLVE is really doing behind the scenes, how they’re support...

Deciding what to do with unused embryos after IVF can feel overwhelming, lonely, and loaded with grief. In this episode, we talk honestly about the emotional weight of unused embryos and why so many people get stuck here for years. I walk through the most common options clinics offer, explain what each one actually means, and introduce additional paths like compassionate transfer and using ritual...

Journalist and TV anchor Jenna Wolfe joins therapist Lisa Schuman to share how she built a two‑mom family through fertility treatment and donor conception, came out on the Today Show, navigated a double mastectomy after a BRCA diagnosis, divorced, and is now co‑parenting two daughters. This episode is for anyone using reproductive medicine, or donor conception and worries, “Will my family really b...

When you’re going through fertility treatment, donor conception, or surrogacy, it’s completely normal to hit a point where you think, “Ugh… screw it.” In this solo episode, Lisa Schuman names and explains the “Screw It Principle”: the quiet ways stress, exhaustion, jealousy, and resentment slip into big decisions about clinics, donors, and agencies. She breaks down the two versions of “screw it” m...

Most patients never see what actually happens to their eggs and embryos once they disappear “into the lab.” In this episode, we go behind the scenes with Dr. Eduardo Hariton to unpack what safety really looks like in modern IVF: barcodes, double-checks, lab standards, and how AI is starting to support better decisions. Dr. Hariton earned his MD from Harvard Medical School and MBA from Harvard Busi...

Trans people don’t want “special” families. They want what every parent wants: to tuck their kids in at night and know they’re safe. In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa Schuman, LCSW, sits down with educator and advocate Trystan Reese to talk about trans family building: what’s the same, what’s different, and what trans parents need from clinics, communities, and allies right now. They c...

How do you make smart, grounded choices about egg freezing today that support whatever comes next – IVF, donor conception, or deciding not to pursue treatment at all? In this episode, reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Jaime Knopman joins Lisa to unpack the real numbers, timing, and trade‑offs so you can feel more empowered and less sold to. We talk honestly about when egg freezing makes sense, what...

Many intended parents secretly ask themselves: “How can I have such negative feelings about donor conception and still love my child?” In this episode, Lisa talks directly to that fear. She explains why you don’t have to “feel good” about donor conception to be a deeply loving, attuned parent – and how the part of you that’s grieving and the part of you that loves your child are not the same part....

Leaking when you laugh, rushing to the bathroom “just in case,” constipation, or painful sex after birth… common, yes. Normal, no. In this episode, pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Sara Reardon (aka The Vagina Whisperer), joins me to break the silence on peeing, pooping, pregnancy, postpartum, and sex. We talk about what your pelvic floor actually is, why it matters during fertility treatment,...

When you’re building your family with donor conception, one huge decision often gets skipped: Are we setting this person up as “Dad” (or “Mom”)… or as a “Donor”? This episode is not about what your child might eventually choose to call them. It’s about the role you intentionally create at the beginning and how that choice shapes expectations, time, money, relationships, and logistics for everyone...

What if you’re told you’re in premature menopause at 34 – and your only path to pregnancy is IVF with donor eggs? In this episode, I’m joined by fitness coach Kyla Burke, who shares her personal journey with premature ovarian insufficiency (POI), IVF, and ultimately pregnancy using donor eggs from a friend. Kyla talks honestly about: – Mistaking her early POI symptoms for lingering COVID effects –...

If you’re using or considering donor conception and wondering, “Will I feel like the real parent?” or “Will I love this baby as much?” you are not alone. In this solo episode, I talk about genetic loss – what it is, what it isn’t, and why it’s different from lifelong “genetic grief.” I share findings from my own research and years of clinical work, and explain why the distress you feel about needi...

Most people naturally focus on photos and eye color when choosing a donor. It’s the first thing you see and it feels concrete. But if that’s all you focus on, it’s easy to overlook some of the genetics and long‑term implications that may matter even more for your family. In Part 2 of my conversation with social scientist and philosopher Jonathan Anomaly, we talk about how to think about donor eggs...

If you’re in IVF and being offered a menu of embryo tests – PGT‑A, PGT‑M, PGT‑P – it can feel overwhelming. What do they actually tell you? How much is genetics vs environment? And how do you think about ethics, money, and risk for your family? In this two‑part series, I’m joined by Jonathan Anomaly, a social scientist and philosopher who works with a company developing and researching embryo test...