Brilliant Observations

Where shall we begin, Dear Listener? Oh I know! The toilet . It's a riotous week for podcasting, gang, replete with questionable topics, sex dream recaps, depilitories gone wild, and — you guessed it — how many fingers is Melissa holding up? We go there, kids. And there, and there, and oh my goodness there, too.  Definitely not suitable for the kids this week. But as the french pole vaulters say,...

Quick question: does violence make every sport better? We're speaking of course, Dear Listener, of the oh, oh, oh, oh-LYM-pics, you knoooooww ( sung to the tune of Ozempic ), and the global awareness of yet another competitive event made that much more exciting by the threat of fullly sanctioned mid-competition paddling. And we do mean paddling.  We're talking all things "Schports!" this week, Dea...

Lewd, much? It's defnitely a not suitable for work episode this week, Dear Listener, as we stumble through the sudden rise of female-centered sex acts in mainstream Hollywood. But not to worry. We also cover hostess gifts, double chins, the rising cost of law school and rats at the bedside. Fun stuff!

It's the People Doing Bad Things episode, Dear Listener, and to be honest, what else would you expect in a week when a former POTUS and prospective nominee gets shot? Vigilante Teen-Led Pedophile Sting Operations, of course! We're riding the wave of insanity that is July 2024, Dear Listener, and that means no shortage of content for us to laugh about. Join us as we dissect the moral obgligations o...

Up this week: unexpected nuclear alerts (both about and completely not about Joe Biden), Beverly Hills Cop the remake featuring what's-his-name, and Middle Schoolers Behaving Badly (TikTok Edition). All that, plus unpaid labor, the trouble with generational trauma, and lessons from Hurricane Beryl. We even throw in a banging popcorn recipe to keep it light. Lots to love in this one, Dear Listener....

Swifties forgetting themselves, Costco is the new venue, and the biologic inevitibility of duck vitamins (it's a thing). Where would you be without us, Dear Listener? Slightly sadder and a wee bit wiser, I'd say.  Sounds like a fair trade. 

Ahhh, nudity on camera. Will you ever not fascinate us? This week, Melissa and Amy uncover (see what I did there?) the difference between acting, Bridgerton, and porn. We also cover shieding one's Littles from dangerous words and deeds. And the Police make a special appearance in a very showy Tesla. Why, what were you looking for? Documented evidence of Amazon delivering your package to the wrong...

Ever wonder how conspiracy theories and complex, multisystem traumas get their start? Let's ask Melissa's Mom.  You sincerely won't believe this one, Gang.  No spoilers, but you might never see the Clean Plate Club the same way again.  All that, plus the wonders of evening weed, New York Times Games round up, the true purpose of luxury items, fake influencers, berries at Erewhon, and the endlessly...

Looking for a gentler way to fall asleep than My Chemical Romance? Don't use this episode — unless laughing is your favorite way to drift off (see what we did there?). Join us as we recap a raucus Bat Mitzvah among friends, some gentle penis humor, and a few favorite accounts you have to see on TikTok. 

If you're looking for a man in Finance, Trust Fund, 6'5", blue eyes, then keep looking. All we got here is a Waffle House training manual, the world's weirest obiturary and a long-overdue congressional censure. Serve that up with a lil no-tip salami and a brief dive into dating before cell phones, and you've got yourself a podcast. There's laughs here, friends. Dig in.  

Holy Suprise Audio Feed Swap, Batman! Amy FUHG!-azi strikes again with a badly mangled cable connection resulting in some seriously compromized audio for this week's show. Try as we might, Dear Listener, we were only able to clean things up so much. Then again, you like it a lil dirty, don't you?  Either way, Amy sincerely apologizes for once again falling victim to the Universe's highjinks. Swear...

Which came first: the two drink maximum or shooting a dog in the face? And to think, these aren't even the most controversial things we joke about this week. Join us for a rousing conversation that includes ill-suited funeral home administrators, voting stickers, Middle East unrest, avoidng your life's purpose and (everyone's favorite), "Tubby People."  It's every bit as weird, free-ranging and su...

The things this woman makes me say on behalf of your entertainment. Lord help us. 

From Thoughtful Shoppery to creative tax code interpretation, exposing toxic espoinnage networks and raw pork hostess gifts, Amy laments the reputational erosion this podcast expands each and every week. Meanwhile, Missy's self-diagnosed neurospiciness takes center stage with her approach to secret keeping, tax preparation, protein consumption and New York sports teams. Far reaching topics connect...

Suns and Moons merging together, garbage and valuables co-mingling at every turn, and longtime friends who suddenly reveal their depthlessly shallow hearts. It's a world gone MAD, Dear Listener, and this week's episode is here for it. Join us as we recap the Eclipse, including the physical effects of witnessing a mass lunar wedding (blech!). Then, there's the main event — the Watch List, a special...

It's Grievance Week, Dear Listener, and both Amy and Missy came ready to grouse. How better to begin than a full-throated rebuke of famed finger-wagger herself, the one and only Mel Robbins. Listen with head-shaking joy as Amy loses her damn mind over Mel Robbins' most recent episode, featuring the world's most saliva-packed special guest. If that wasn't enough, Melissa launches her nukes at a dis...

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Well, when the starting point for licks is Melissa's son after a Balinese holiday and the Tootsie Roll center is an unwrapped toilet seat, I'm guessing it takes more than three. Join us as we chat through Aboriginal Gratitude, the state of Israel, the Selective Logic of the Qanon Collective, and disgruntled gift recipi...

Oh, G-blank-D, Dear Listener, do we have a show for you. There's frivolous lawsuits. There's religious superstition. There's orgasm pills, TikTok scams and wildly overpriced butter. There's even a botched execution that turns out to be a heartwarming tale of "I bet you didn't see that coming." And if that wasn't enough, we even throw in some nonsensical anecdotes from the teenage clown around gang...

Happy Feet had his heartsong. The rest of us, if Mallory's college classmate is to be trusted, have a Poopsong. And the lucky few? A Pooping Playlist . You know. For those very long, very strenuous "moments." And with that, we're back to our old tricks, Dear Listener, with plenty of silly, sing-songy, potty humory talkie talk for your listening pleasure.   Do we also manage to dabble in politics,...

We've had a bit of a viral moment on TikTok this week, Dear Listener, and wouldn't you know it's about some questionable activity (wholly endorsed). What can I say? Sometimes the things in my head come out of my face. And in this case, the things coming out of my face happened in the bathroom. Interested? Then listen on, Dear Listener — this episode is for you.   Topics covered include All Things...

You've heard of snakes on a plane. Welp, there's no preparing you for what these Amsterdamians decided to transport. Continuing with the Animals Gone Wild theme, Missy shares news of the world's first (potentially) immaculate conception, sting-ray style. Just as scripture foretold, this too leaves us guessing as to who done messed with that unsuspecting lady. (My money's on the shark.) All that pl...