Brilliant Observations

Tell me 50 attractive, non-sexual traits you seek in a partner (and why Blake Lively has none of them). It's a sweeping conversation this week, Dear Listener, starting deep on Broad Street with Fly, Eagles, Fly and continuing down memory lane into the train wreck that is It Ends With Us. Good thing Missy's here with 30 seconds of penis content. Wang!

What goes down must come up, Dear Listener, at least in terms of gastric juices. Biohazard Amy shares a shocking number of fluid-based mishaps, while Melissa grapples with her authority as a creator of worlds. 

Happy New Year from Dry January Headquarters, Dear Listener. We're coming in HOT this week with a host of penis shaped weather nonsense, the miracle of salt water and Stuart's antics at the Sauna Club. All that plus 30 seconds with Amy, MIssy boards a plane and LISTENERR FEEDBACK (and it's not even Christmas). 

Welp, we made it, Dear Listener. 2024 is officially behind us. And if you're like most, you're feeling remarkably un-verklempt at the passing of said Poo Sandwich. Good news is: we're gearing up for our Best. Year. Eva. And we want you to come with.  Yes, Melissa. I ended a sentence with a with.  See? There are worse things than all of 2024.  Join us this week for a rolicking look back at our holi...

Happy Merry Joyous Blessed Easy Crispy Fresh Squeezed Hot & Ready Now, Dear Listener. (Should old aquiantance be forgot.) We love you, we mean it. Our highest best and always, Melissa and Amy. 

Greetings, Soufganiot fans. You'll be pleased to know that the annual cost of Christmas Trees has now surpassed $4.6 billion per family. Score one for Hannukah! In other news, Missy continues to deal with the detritus of The Great Purge. Amy discusses the possibility of removing all her hair. And we both fantasize about the hidden riches of highway based realities.  

It's Go Time, Dear Listener, and you're on deck with a mission critical assignment: FEEDBACK. Our girl is struggling this week, and the only thing to cure her funk is a mountain of positive reinforcement in the form of Listener Engagement. So hop on Gmail and drop Missy a line at brilliantobervations@gmail.com. Social media more your speed? Post to your channel and tag @ListenBrilliant. Or just st...

It's not everyday that Melissa dictates the name of the episode. But so moved was she this week, Dear Listener, that she did just that. We give you: Amy's Thanksgiving.  Enjoy. 

Dance, Monkey, Dance — it's Thanksgiving, Dear Listener! We've loaded up the laughs to make the time fly as you prep, plump, clean, commute, gorge, purge, decorate, designate and defacate your way through this blessed secular holiday. (Still sorry, Native 'Merica!) Join us, won't you, as we ignore the news, forget cultural references and dig deep in family drama. In  You Can't Eat at Errybody Hous...

Asking for a friend... and don't be gross. We cover a lot of ground this week, Dear Listener, including the perils of poorly planned Friendsgiving, toddlers making soup, Missy's fascination with the societal promise of gastrointestinal distress, and Brides Behaving Badly. It's another joyful romp through the ADHD wilderness. And we can't wait to take you along for the ride. 

Continue the distraction with upbeat giggles and advice from We, the Righteous. Join us as we energize each other, embrace our unique talents, and smile our way through this glorous gift we call life. 

Who's ready for a laugh? Join us, Dear Listener, as we bounce our way through all the ridiculousness Missy can't seem to avoid on TikTok starting with Hate Cups: A User's Guide. Amy comes in strong with some poorly managed breathing exercises (because, Science) then follows it up with nasocranial biohazards, party edition. Josh and Josh's Mom make their usual unwelcome dish, and we all enjoy a bri...

Mmmmm...catalogs. Is there anything better to arrive in the mail? Sears. JC Penney. Spiegel. Consumer Distributors. J Peterman. Even The ToysRUs Look Book. Missy takes us down mail-order memory lane as a sweet antidote to the daring political discussion of early voting in our two battleground states. Then, it's Tom Hardy's dog's voice. Subtitles. And a fullsome dissection of the Netflix hit Nobody...

What's more shocking than Dairy Queen's new vomit-themed chicken slabs? Perhaps warm pimento cheese masquerading as a gay-hating chicken crime. Missy does the Lord's work with a tricky visit to see her ornery parents. Her reward? A vintage Dow Jones ticker and 6.2 billion Toby mugs (all available to ship now). Amy goes wee wee wee all the way home on a Trump pee-pad rumor. But don't fret, Dear Lis...

It's another whirlwind episode, Dear Listener, and not just because of Hurricane Milton. Join us as we dive deep into Missy's true love language — gifting — only to discover the biggest gift she could ever give "doesn't come from the store." Well, well! Color me interested. 

Move over, Call Her Daddy, there's a new STD-aware podcast in town. Jim Carey kills another one — or does he? Missy officiates a wedding. And Amy suffers the cosmic trauma of TikTok's Josh (and Josh's Mom). 

It's getting hot in here, Dear Listener, and not for the reasons you think. It's the semi-annual Thermostat Wars, and Amy is no where near winning. Plus, Missy punctuates her restful hour-long visits to the beach with a luxurious new Dispensary find: and it's the actual Dispensary. And TikTok disgraces Josh and his Mom give the world a first-hand peek behind the Dollar General discount bin. Warnin...

First things first, Dear Listener: The Bear is NOT a comedy. This week, we dive deep into the file cabinet to uncover the many mysteries of Dina's Secret Folder (it's genetic!). Emmy wins and losses. Bucket list dates of future past. Dave Grohl steps out (again). And the main event: does Amy actually know the would-be assassin who stalked former president Donald Trump? Listen and learn, kids. And...

What's better than King Charles's sausage fingers, Taylor Swift's Kamala Harris endorsement and microdosing on Costco pallet-sized overstock unboxings on TikTok? Knowing who your friends are. Join us as we laugh our way through the ins and outs of adult friendships, starting with when to make friends, how to keep them and, best of all, what it means to live your life according to the Three Ds.  An...

How late is too late for checking out after checkout time? Missy feels this one in the gut. In male news, Nut Talk reaches new heights as we "take to the Internet" for bathing advice. Missy works through the final days of renting the beachhouse. And Amy starts a September Reset. All this on more. Heh heh heh.

Taking a break from our near-constant discussion of precipitous bowel release (just kidding, friends), we venture into the oft-overlooked territory of stealing from one's siblings. Time was, we stole sweatshirts, devil dogs, prime seating on car trips. This week, it's friends. Next week, who knows?  Plus, Amy gets hacked. Feeding the children ramps up. And Missy yearns for a return to her sandy se...

Of all the delicious things we could offer you, Dear Listener — and let's be honest, we're offered you quite a few — there's nothing more enticing than what we have loaded up for you this week. Friendship. Get ready for all the feels when Missy remembers just who the F she is during these troubled, trying times. And yes, we sample the mayonnaise. 

Lu La Roe. Olympic breakdancing. Aging parents. Volunteering for jobs you have no intention of doing. And of course, Disneyland. Care to join, Dear Listener, as Melissa audibly implodes? It's a roaring good time, we promise. Just don't mention Tom Cruise.