Brilliant Observations

Missy's carnal knowledge expands rapidly this week, Dear Listener, as romping rabbits and randy riff-raff combine in a Fourth of July extravaganza. Amy escapes flaming mortar fire and lives to tell the tale. And Missy runs through her mystery list of movies you think you'll know, but actually, do you? Laugh along with one hand firmly clutching your pearls this week, friends. Don't say we didn't wa...

We're breaking the law in Utah this week, Dear Listener, and not a single soul died in the making of our cult. ( You're welcome. ) Missy runs through the list of strange laws still hindering our weekends, and Amy ponders the lifelong habit of always being second in command. There's silliness, soul-searching and of course, light S&M. Join us for dinner, won't you? Yes, Chef.  

Oh my goodness we come right out of the gate swinging this week, Dear Listener, with tales of sex tapes (real and homemade). We quickly pivot to shockingly descriptive talky-talk about sexuals of every age, but don't fret. We eventually move on. Turn us on at work, kids!

We're exploring the dissapointments of the Golden Generation, Dear Listener, and boy do we have a Top 10 list for you. Spoiler Alert: they fail, spectacularly. Missy makes it through another Niece-based milestone. And Amy tastes all the worst ice creams, kinda. Laugh along and share with a friend. Karma will thank you. 

He just plays one on TV. This week, we cover even more made-up sex quirks (you be the judge!), the joys of internet vigilanteism, and birth order: the relationship edition. So much nonsense to laugh at. So few brain cells. Join us, won't you? We've got a whole week's worth of giggles in the next hour and three minutes. Love ya. Mean it. 

As if we didn't know, Dear Listener. This week, we cover Drunken Tacos (Bean Edition), Spurs recaps, Man's Work and all things for which we are grateful. Chiefly, the all new Doritos dusted menu at Taco Bell. (Don't knock it till you steal it.) Plus, Amy attends a dance recital (the HORRuhh), Missy witnesses a Foot Fungus performance artist, and we both question the ongoing stupidity of the human...

It's Deer Season, Dear Listener, and love is in full bloom on Missy's lawn. Again. This week, we discuss new love, marital love, platonic love and of course, divorce. As you do. 

Oh, Dear Listener, what's to be done... our fair friend Amy has done it again with mic problems, tardiness problems and worst of all, mental problems (but what's new, truly). We're coming to you just in time for Memorial Day with thoughts and stories to distract you, charm you and delight you on the road to an extra day off. Missy even regails us with a trip down Sweaty Gym Lane complete with thos...

LISTENER FEEDBACK ALERT! LISTENER FEEDBACK ALERT! We can hardly believe it but we received an actual letter from an advice-seeking human. (And our advice is cracker jack.)  Kneading a little Mother's Day inspiration? Take a tip from Ethan, who conned Melissa into making not one, not two, but three kinky breads for him to take back to Pittsburgh, all on her special day. Then, we jump to the main ev...

So we visited a sex hotel this week, Dear Listener, and Missy's not sure how to feel about it. Mainly because Amy both experienced Mean Weed and Frenched up on everyone with her secret linguistic prowess. There were sexy border agents, cannibus-fueled bullying and a special parade of Canada's finest pedopolice. It was a lot. But also, the best. Come along for the ride. We don't dissapoint. 

Oh my gUUDness, Dear Listener, if you only knew. This week, we cover all the things "for which Missy is grateful," including the blessings of a good vibe, excellent planning skills and a deliciously robust birthing canal. Plus, basketball stadium hijinks, kiddies come home and the Sex Hotel: a Prologue. 

Oh my terrible goodness, Dear Listener, the ladies are back at it again. This time, we skewer circuses, wedding crasher, dining on planes and (everyone's favorite!) suprise fecal showers. Can't make this shit up, friends. Literally. So once again, thank you for sharing a laugh or 10 with us. Unlike every person who wandered into the Poo Museum, we're so glad you're here. 

Drunken Excellence, Sober Edition: Amy takes a test that involves focus and suprisingly aces it. "I fun fun!" Also on the docket: young adult debacuhery goes international, the endless joy of earning gold stars, Missy's delicate relationship with the illusion of control. Surprise! 

Holy Saliva, Batman! It's a dental dayum this week, Dear Listener, as Amy gets the most thorough hygenic event evah. Missy embraces Majong. And we all join the hunt for protein that has overtaken the world. Confectionary Easter Tomb, anyone? Happy bunnies and locusts to those who celebrate. We love having you here. 

It's an emotional Free For All at the Hot Box this week, Dear Listener, and Missy has lived to tell the tale. All that, plus the Delusional Lies Men Tell Themselves (Amy Edition) and Baby Waves Goodbye to her favorite Medium. Where else could you pack so much fun into a short one hour and one minutes?

Oh Ethan Hawk, we're so so tired of you, even when you say such beautiful things. Missy discovers a reverse technology telephone, and, considers using it to call one or more deadbeat girlfriends who stiffed her on the bill. Amy meets a septugenarian without a working member. And everyone enjoys another opportunity to chuckle at this bizarre spectacle we call life. 

The SWATs keep on coming, America, and Missy is kinda over it. Stuart pays a visit to the front door in his underwear. And Amy shares a series of unfortunate events that even she wonders why she shared. To quote the world watching the state of geopolitics today, "what are we doing?" Listen and learn, Dear Listener. (Learn what not to do.)

It's springtime, Dear Listener, and the boys refuse to wear their condoms. But never fear — Missy is ready for the pivot. Hallmark After Dark returns with a glorious reframe as Missy envisions a whole new way to explore the carnal side of the kingdom. (But don't blow in the hole, kids. It's dangerous. Because Science.)  We travel to foreign lands this week and listen with envy as Missy dives deep...

It's STADIUM MADNESS Week, Dear Listener, with myriad tales of sports spectation gone awry. SCHPORTZ! Punched by a stranger in public, the kids rebound by winning the game. Missy initiates physical contact with the Concessions Team... again... and we both dive deep into the sewer. Who knew? I didn't even mention the most surprising thing to go into Amy's mouth this week. Wait for it. Worth it. 

Oh, the siliness of our deeply bumpy brains. It's Brazilian Carnivale season, Dear Listener, and even those bare bottomed beauties are not enough to lure Amy out of the Heated Rivalry cuckhold that currently dominates her mindspace. (Not to worry. Missy cuts all that out.) Skipping ahead to the lies we tell ourselves, we wander through the Forest of Dark Thoughts only to emerge on Cottage Cheese B...

Missy meets a cash-toting stranger on her front porch and happily lives to tell the tale (for once, Stuart and Amy are on the ESSSHthaccct ShhhhAme Payyge). Missy's Ambien-induced shopping takes a heartwarming turn. And Amy slathers her soul in liquid butter. It's binge-listening at it's finest, Dear Listener, with plenty of innuendo, intrigue and closed circuit TV footage to keep things interesti...

If the internet has taught us anything it's that cameras are everywhere, Dear Listener. And boy howdy do they love pancakes. Join us as we discuss directional flatulence, sexy smoking, the Real Housewives of the Main Line and Missy's favorite new word. It's been a week, friends. And we're here for it. 

Stiff nipples, the specter of nudity and proud venereal disease test results combine in this nonsensical wintry mix, and can we just say we're here for all of it, Dear Listener. So shake off those shivery duldrums and indulge in a cheery chat about all things silly. It's the laugh you need to jumpstart your week. Love it. Love you. Clothes and all. 

Snowpacalypse. Sandwhiches of Many Lands. And texts we'd rather not be a part of. What more could you wish for this week, Dear Listener, except maybe... maybe... even more Heated Rivaly perversion. Will it ever end? We hope not. Meantime, please remember to shine brightest in your little corner of the world. You never know who relies upon you to feel the light. Love you. Mean it. 

It's a Heated Rivalry takeover, Dear Listener, with tales of German funk stank, ladies scooping for gold and the sexiest of date night meals, the tuna melt. Missy leads us through a game of Guess Who's In the Orange Jumpsuit Crew. And Amy recaps her Italian visit with sights, sounds and yes, truly authentic smells inspired by Ilya and Shane themselves. There's love, there's sex, there's an abundan...