Breaking Up with our Bullsh!t

 Episode 121: "Good Vibes Only!"   Putting a positive spin on things might be what we are often conditioned to do, but doing so disconnects us from the reality of all sorts of human experiences that can benefit us, even (and maybe especially) when they are difficult. Tawny and JDK range over several topics in their examination of this story, highlighting the importance of learning how to listen to...

Episode 120: "Don't Worry, Be Happy"   When we tell ourselves that the "antidote" for worrying is to just "be happy," we do a lot to ourselves that isn't helpful in either dealing with worry or with the reality around and within us. In this episode, Tawny and JDK examine the roots of this popular saying / story and break it down into what makes it both appealing to believe and not-so-healthy to em...

Episode 119: "Nothing Ever Changes" When things in life are not changing the way we want them to, we often can fall back on this particular BS story to "console" ourselves. But instead, all this story does is limit us and keep us stuck in a position of "always wanting." Tawny and JDK take a close look at the various elements of this story and discuss what we can each do to move away from Always Wa...

  Episode 118: "I Shouldn't Have To Explain That"   Tawny and JDK untangle this particular knot of a BS story by looking at it from a relational perspective - what is going on inside us when we believe this, or say this, or hear this from someone else. What can we see in ourselves and in our expectations and assumptions about our relationships with others and with ourselves? There is much more to...

Episode 117: "I'm Too Old...."   We get a great deal of messaging when we are young about needing to have everything about our life planned out, mapped out, anticipated, and more, as soon as possible. This doesn't leave room for the unexpected, for curiosity about new things, and so many of the realities of life. Thus, this BS story is born. Explore with Tawny and JDK the limiting that happens whe...

Episode 116: "Life Sucks"   Tawny and JDK tackle this powerful, often "default" story many of us develop in life - that life just sucks. This BS story is one of the most limiting ones out there, so what might be a better framework for how we view our experiences and options in life? Instead of "life sucks," what would open us up more to curiosity, exploration, and possibility? Take a listen to fin...

Episode 115: "I've Got to Get This Right"   The pressure to "be right" or to "get this right" can place us in positions of high stress and reduce our connection with ourselves and others. In this episode, Tawny and JDK take a close look at this strong BS story and discuss the ways in which we can get underneath that story to see more possibilities than just the option of being "right" or "wrong."...

Episode 114: "I Can't Change Because of _________" So often we can blame external factors for our unwillingness to consider or act on changing internally. Why do we do this? What are the costs involved in believing this story is actually true? What did we learn as children that helped shape our beliefs about what is and isn't possible for us? Tawny and JDK address these questions and many more in...

Episode 113: "They're Holding Me Back"   The belief that others are preventing us from doing the things we want to do can be a powerful one. But this story is particularly limiting and also harmful to our own sense of power over our decisions and our lives. Tawny and JDK untangle all the threads involved in this subtle yet strong story and suggest some ways to disconnect from it. By doing so, we o...

Episode 112: "I Have Too Much to Do"   Ever get "frozen in place" and overwhelmed by your to-do lists? Do you spend time worrying about the "what ifs" if the things on your calendar don't get met or done? If so, you are just like ALL of us! But that doesn't mean the story of "too much to do" is actually true. This week, Tawny and JDK show how harmful and limiting this powerful BS story can be, and...

Episode 111: "Without ______, I Won't Survive"   Tawny and JDK examine a story that can range from being about something relatively innocuous to about the most important elements of our lives. What exactly do we really need to "survive" things emotionally? What do we limit in and for ourselves when we accept this BS story as real? What can shift for us and within us by noticing those things that w...

Episode 110: "That's Just How I Am"   Tawny and JDK take on this very subtle and often thorny BS story - one that is often hidden under some legitimate things about and within ourselves. How do we know if something is really "how we are" or we are actually afraid to try something new or look at a part of ourselves that brings us discomfort? Learning to discern and allowing ourselves to be open are...

Episode 109: "That's Too Hard"   Tawny and JDK dig into what both agree is a real "bummer" story that can cause us a lot of pain and limit us in numerous ways. What makes us determine that something is "too hard?" Does hard have to be bad or undesirable? What factors have influenced us to believe this and how do we move away towards embracing "hard" instead? Take a listen to this poignant episode...

Episode 108: "I Have Trust Issues"    Tawny and JDK investigate this particularly powerful story, one that often keeps us disconnected from ourselves and others, all while preventing us from learning to trust ourselves and live in reality. How can we move away from this story and take more responsibility for breaking up with it in exchange for more ease, connection, and engagement in our lives? Ta...

Episode 107: "Speaking Up For Myself Is Selfish"   Tawny and JDK untangle the threads of this powerful BS story that robs us of our agency and disconnects us from others. What exactly is "selfish" about stating what we believe or what we need or want in a given situation? What costs does that incur for us and our relationships? What can we do differently and what kinds of things can that give us?...

 Episode 106: "Nobody Listens to Me"    A powerful BS story like this one has a lot of layers hiding underneath it, all of them connecting back to what we feel we want or need and, for some reason, are not getting from others or - most importantly - from ourselves. How can we break up with this BS story, especially if we all have not really learned how to be great listeners in ways that foster con...

Episode 105: "Ordinary is Boring"    Why is it that we often think that the ordinary things in life are a problem? That they are in the way of us living a quality life and finding meaning or purpose? Tawny and JDK spend time digging into this subtly powerful BS story this week, asking us to examine how we might frame those "everyday" things differently to find so much more of what we seek than if...

BUWOBS in on a short break but will return with new episodes in 2 weeks, until then enjoy this encore show! Episode 92: “Slow Down, Learn Fast”   If “an untrained brain will go negative,” then how can we “train” or brain to better handle our emotional states and reduce our BS stories? The key is, paradoxically, to get into the body first - to slow down in order to learn fast. See Privacy Policy at...

BUWOBS in on a short break but will return with new episodes in 2 weeks, until then enjoy this encore show! Episode 94: "Why Do We Withhold Happy?"   Tawny and JDK explore all the messages we get - and give ourselves - about our drive to find Happiness - even though it is something quite difficult to actually define! Are there better ways to frame the things we are seeking? How does our internal a...

 Episode 104: "If I Don't Do It, No One Will"    Talk about a BS story that is rooted and grows fast in resentment! What do we deny in ourselves - and in our relationships - when we treat this story as reality? What does it prevent happening that we want for ourselves and our loved ones? What kinds of long lasting impacts can it bring about? Taking a good look at what we each bring to the "dances"...

Episode 103: "I'm Right, You're Wrong"   Tawny and JDK take on one of the most powerful - and disconnecting - BS stories out there, one that often will emerge over the smallest of issues but explode into something that damages ourselves and our relationships significantly. Why do we insist on being right so often? What is under that in each of us? What are better strategies and mindsets to develop...

Episode 102: “Reprioritizing Priorities”   If change is constant in life (and it is), then priorities will also ebb and flow as life goes on. How can we navigate those times of new (re)prioritization without getting in our own way with stress, anxiety, and getting “frozen” in ourselves? Tawny and JDK explore all this through the lens of some reprioritization going on in JDK’s life as a landmark bi...

Episode 101: “Again, No One is a Mind Reader”   Tawny and JDK revisit one of the most common - and destructive - BS stories we can tell ourselves: “My partner should just know what I need / want / am thinking.” Nothing good comes from believing and acting on this story. So why do we do it? How can we move away from that and have the partnerships we want? The answers are pretty clear - we just have...

Episode 100: "For the 100th Time - It's All About Presence!"    For their landmark one-hundredth episode (!), Tawny and JDK reflect on the power of Presence in our lives - how to get connected with it, what can come up for us when we are in it, and how it can help us move beyond our BS stories and move into a life of more ease, connection, resilience, and meaning. It's what Breaking Up With Our BS...

Episode 99: "Not All 'Signs' Are Created Equal"   What happens - and what doesn't - when we look for external "signs" about what we should do next in our lives? Tawny and JDK explore the ways in which we can end up short-changing our own agency in life when we seek external signs, rather than getting in tune with our own grounded selves. The differences between these states of being can be profoun...