Brave Love Great Sex – Couples Therapy Podcast

The million maybe billion-dollar question: how do we increase low sexual desire in women? Laurie and George discuss what is shutting down sexual desire in women. George gets it right by saying women often put everyone else’s needs ahead of their own. And Laurie discusses their disconnection to their own sexual needs. Click on the link below to hear Laurie and George address blocks to sexual desire...

Listen to a caller who leaves us a message about her husband telling her he thinks she’s too heavy to be attractive. Laurie and George work through their own reaction and anger at this painful message to our listener. We question the narrowness of her partner’s focus on a minimal change (she’s young and fit) as opposed to having a broader view of eroticism that includes her body, her spirit, her h...

So many women seem to just give up on sex. Maybe they reach menopause and they’re done with sex. Or maybe well before menopause , she and her partner haven’t gotten through to each other and sex stops. Orif sex continues, she just is unengaged. How can something that feels so good be relegated to such a low/no priority? Here’s why. Females who don’t want to have sex are often stopped in 3 areas: t...

In our world with its focus on physical perfection, we all have aspects of our body which we criticize, and even avoid looking at in the mirror. These critical thoughts can intrude before, during, and after sex, diminishing our ability to be in the moment with our partner. We talk through this thorny issue as an example of how to begin to address it with your partner. Check out our sponsor: Uberlu...

Oral sex - you like it. You don’t like it. What works. What doesn’t work. Laurie and George talk about it all. They role play a couple who gets stuck in retaliation - if you don’t go down on me; I won’t go down on you. Then, they demo how a couple might talk to help each other work through their difficulties with oral sex. For a great hands-free vibrator, go to dameproducts.com and use code FOREPL...

Sometimes sex is awesome; sometimes not. This episode shows you how to turn up the heat when it's not! Thanks to our sponsors: BetterHelp.com/Foreplay for 10% off your first month! Uberlube.com - Foreplay rated as the best lubricant! Use the coupon for 10% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

She needs more foreplay and he doesn’t wanna lose his erection. Women need a slow patter of arousal to reach the best climax. Men when they’re on sildenafil (viagra, etc.) need to use their erection - soon. This is a familiar dilemma for couples in their 50s. George and Laurie role-play a couple who learns how to talk about this problem. Check out our great sponsors: Foriawellness.com/foreplay or ...

Libido is shared between the couple. The pursuer afraid of being rejected, almost starts every initiation with an edge of criticism. So the sexual moment starts the partner off without even being given much of a chance at feeling desire. In our case example, she’s not turned on because she hears the edge and then she’s blamed.  On the flip side is a lack of engagement. The withdrawer can nearly er...

In most of our episodes, we use the emotional and sexual cycles to bring coherence to the issues that plague committed relationships. We wanted to explore and summarize the emotional and sexual cycles in one condensed episode. Many couples feel like they are facing unique, specific troubles, when the reality is, these relational upsets are all manifestations of the underlying sexual and emotional...

There can be so much disappointment even shame when a couple is in a sexlessness marriage. Couple can tune out and shut down their need for flesh on flesh and over time it gets harder and harder to get back. They don’t know how to repair or even talk about normal failure and so they ignore the failures. This doesn’t happen just with aging. It’s people who resign themselves to not talking about it...

Laurie and George define secrets as issues, fantasies or alliances that block connection. We certainly have a right to privacy and sometimes our private erotic thoughts makes our world sexier and makes us more available to our partner. Certainly some people choose and open marriage but they do it with… openness. we think talking about your fantasies or actual affairs with your a partner while incr...

“I’m just not attracted to you anymore.” - OUCH!!!I Sounds like a showstopper doesn’t it? But Laurie and George have hope for you to get it back. We use our favorite acronym BEST SEX Conversations - to explore why people might lose attraction for the partner they’ve committed to and some ideas about getting it back. We go through the primary areas of sexual attachment from a holistic viewpoint to...

Confidence is essential for a great relationship. But how to you grow in confidence if you've lost it or never had much of it? Confidence is the end result of a string of successes. We discuss moves you can make to help yourself -- and your partner -- build their confidence by how you interact, particularly in the difficult conversations. Learn new moves to help you be successful -- and grow your...

Most of us grew up not talking about sex. But the more detailed you get, the more power you can have to change things. Go play-by-play and have more choice and agency about shaping your experience and connecting with each other. One woman’s grimace during oral sex or another person’s turning of their head during sexual intercourse send messages to their partner that in our example are indeed misin...

Everyone wants to feel desired certainly. But the research shows that for women - being desired, hearing their partner's verbal admiration and open "want" - is very important to their turn on. When men are dating they instinctively know how telling their partner how sexy they look, sending flirty messages, giving their partner longing looks - tells her she's hot! George and Laurie talk through the...

Touch is vital for intimate communication. We learn so much with touch - pleasure, safety, exploration and curiosity! So often we don’t put it into words and then we find ourselves in intimate relationship with a partner without really explaining what we need and want. For instance, tickling may be fun and erotic or triggering. There are lots of ways me might miss each other in the conversation bu...

We’re talking about good-enough responding - responding to our partner in ways that keep us connected even when we disappoint them. Think about when a withdrawer finally comes forward; while their pursuing partner may long for whatever they’re offering, the same pursuer most likely feels doubt and mistrust about the sincerity of their withdrawing partner or the evidence that this is a start of a c...

Wanna spice it up? What have you fantasized about doing? It takes vulnerability to tell each other about ideas for novelty and change. Are you willing to risk? Laurie and George talk about how couples choose to spice things up - ways that novelty can be gas petals or brakes for different couples often dividing the couple themselves. Porn, gummies, alcohol, vibrators, handcuffs, feathers, etc… and...

Is it worth it to accept something that your partner wants to give you sexually instead of holding out for what you really want? Is something better than nothing? Laurie and George use a tried and true EFT principle called "slicing it thinner" - find a way to help your partner get closer to what you want without them losing themselves or feeling compromised. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit...

Would you just love to go for a walk with Laurie and talk about sex? Well, on this episode, L invites all of her girlfriends out there to talk about all the stuff - hacks to conquer menopause, how to use a vibrator and what to do if his erection fails. Join in for some girl talk! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The million dollar question! (for pursuers) how do you get someone to pursue their own pleasure. In our Q&A, Laurie and George see a reader’s point. For so many  reasons it works better when your partner is engaged sexually - they supply desire that fuels the sexual fun, it’s a turn-on to see your partner in uninhibited abandon plus it takes the pressure off from always having to initiate. But the...

  Lovemaking, maintenance sex, icebreaker sex, the 5-minute window, RED HOT sex, and scheduled sex - all have their merits. Compliments of our friends' blog @thehappymarriageau, George and Laurie riff on these six modes of sex - what they're good for, what the drawbacks are and how connected relationships might make use of all of them.   Please follow @thehappymarriageau and us as well on insta @F...

Keeping connected is easier when we're in green brain - when our brain says we are safe, cared about and even loved - when we can relax, talk, listen with openness.  Red brains are escalated, tense, maybe angry or in total shut down.  Listen to George and Laurie talk about pulling a partner in red brain into the calm connected place where sex and connection can happen. Learn more about your ad cho...

FOREPLAY welcomes Emotionally Focused Therapy, founder Dr. Sue Johnson to talk with us about George's driving and the sexual cycle. We laughed together about their early relationship and more seriously about George asking for help after 9/11 with the couples he was seeing and Sue's generous response.  Sue gives us a keen example of a uber sexual pursuer and how his needs for attachment drive him e...

Listen to this emotional episode to to help the withdrawers in your life. Trained to suppress emotions, withdrawers have decided early in life - it's is not okay to have needs. Their nervous systems don't trust because in the past people haven't shown up for them. Even if their pursuing partner are longing to be close and cover them with their love, their hearts believe others are not safe or depe...