BPD Diaries: Stories and Science with Steff

What if the most effective framework for BPD recovery was written by a former slave and a Roman emperor over 2,000 years ago? This episode is about Stoicism. Not the pop culture version that means suppressing your feelings and pretending nothing hurts, but the real thing. A practical, rigorous system of thought that maps onto what people with BPD struggle with most. The impulsivity. The fear of ab...

If you have BPD, there's a good chance you've either been to a psychiatric hospital, or been told you should go. Maybe it helped. Maybe it made things worse. Maybe you left feeling more broken than when you arrived. In this episode, I want to give the full picture: • When is hospitalization genuinely helpful? • When is it actively harmful? • What does the research say? • What are your righ...

99% of people with BPD who die by suicide sought help in the year before their death. 88% in the last six weeks. They were going to the right places - emergency departments, GPs, crisis services. The system failed them. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Jillian Broadbear, researcher at Spectrum, Australia's leading personality disorder service, to ask the hard questions. She talks about why men...

You love someone with BPD. But some nights, you lie awake wondering: • Do they actually love me? • Am I codependent or just a caring person? • Is this BPD or emotional abuse? • Should I stay or should I leave? • Why do they threaten suicide when I try to leave, and what do I actually do? These are some the questions partners, parents, and friends of people with BPD ask. Often with guilt. Often wit...

It's BPD Awareness Month. So I am doing something different. I keep seeing the same questions. Asked at 2am. Asked through tears. Asked by people who are exhausted, confused, and just want an honest answer. This episode answers 10 of the most common questions people with BPD actually ask, including: • Is it BPD or bipolar? • Why do I react so intensely even when I know better? • Am I a bad per...

In this episode, we explore what it means to receive a BPD diagnosis later in life. Why it happens so often, what the latest research tells us about BPD across the lifespan, and why healing is never too late. Whether you're newly diagnosed, still searching for answers, or supporting someone you love, this one's for you. It's never too late to be understood. 🌱 Have questions, stories,...

What if your emotional pain was invisible , even to the people closest to you? In this episode, we explore Quiet BPD: the presentation of Borderline Personality Disorder where the storm rages entirely on the inside. No outbursts. No visible chaos. Just a carefully maintained exterior while everything underneath is burning. We cover what Quiet BPD actually is (and what the research says), why it&#3...

Nearly  1 in 3 people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)  will also experience an  eating disorder  at some point in their lives. But this connection goes far deeper than food, weight, or appearance. In this episode, we explore the powerful and often misunderstood relationship between  BPD and eating disorders , including anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. Why do these condition...

For many people with Borderline Personality Disorder, night isn’t peaceful. It’s when the abandonment dreams start. When shame replays. When the nervous system refuses to power down. Sleep isn’t just rest, it’s emotional regulation, impulse control, and survival. In this episode, we talk about sleep and BPD, from vivid nightmares and insomnia to the emotional hangover that lingers the next day, an...

What does recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder actually look like? For years, Borderline Personality Disorder was considered chronic and untreatable. And if you've ever searched for "BPD recovery," you've probably seen two extreme narratives: the hopeless one that says you'll never change, and the oversimplified one that says DBT will fix everything overnight. Neithe...

Have you spent years stabilizing your BPD, only to feel like you're unraveling again in your 40s or 50s? What if it's not your therapy failing, it's your hormones? In a medical blind spot affecting so many, perimenopause and menopause can dramatically amplify BPD symptoms, yet almost no one is talking about it. In this episode, we look into one of the most critical and overlooked inter...

Why does everything feel so much harder the week before your period? For many people with Borderline Personality Disorder, the days before menstruation feel brutal. But this isn’t “just PMS.” If your BPD symptoms seem to sync perfectly with your menstrual cycle, you're not imagining it. This is real, it's biological, and it has a name. In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked conne...

Feeling empty, disconnected, or raw? You open Instagram, post something carefully crafted, and for a moment, the likes make you feel seen. Then, the algorithm shifts. An ex appears. A friend's post feels like a dig. Or worse: silence. Your post gets three likes. That piece of yourself vanishes into the digital void. What happens next? The chest tightness. The spiral. The urge to delete everyth...

Work can be a lifeline or a psychological minefield when you live with Borderline Personality Disorder. In this episode, we discuss what it’s really like to navigate career, ambition, burnout, and identity with BPD. We talk about why so many of us become  high achievers at constant risk of implosion  - overworking to outrun shame, masking emotional pain behind professionalism, and collapsing the m...

Are people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) "antisocial"? In this episode, we dive deep into the complex, often misunderstood relationship between BPD and Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). We go beyond the online stereotypes and fear-mongering to explore the science, the diagnostic lines, and the sobering overlaps. We break down the crucial differences and the emotional e...

To all the beautiful, complex hearts tuning in: Wherever you are, whatever this day looks like for you, we are so grateful to have you as part of the BPD Diaries family. Your presence, your courage, and your stories mean the world to us. Thank you for allowing us to be a small part of your journey. We’re thinking of you, and we’re sending you so much warmth. From our hearts to yours, Merry Christm...

Have you ever been called “too dramatic,” “too emotional,” or “attention-seeking”? These labels are hurtful, oversimplified, and often point to a deeper, misunderstood struggle. In this episode, we explore the complex and often confused relationship between Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD). We go beyond the stereotypes to unpack the science and the st...

"Tis the season to be... triggered?  If the "most wonderful time of the year" feels more like an emotional pressure cooker, you are not alone. In this episode, we break down exactly why the holidays are so dysregulating for those with BPD, from attachment activation to sensory overload, and arm you with a practical toolkit to not just survive, but find small moments of peace. You&#3...

Have you ever wondered, "Do I have BPD or Bipolar Disorder?" You're not alone. This is one of the most common and consequential mix-ups in mental health, leading to years of wrong treatments and unnecessary suffering. In this episode, we're cutting through the confusion. We break down the science and the stories behind Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder, explain...

On social media, ‘narcissist’ has become a slur for anyone who hurts us. But what happens when this label gets weaponized against people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), a condition often defined by deep empathy, self-criticism, and a fear of abandonment? In this episode we dive into one of the most painful and misunderstood dynamics: the relationship between BPD and narcissism. We expl...

When we talk about Borderline Personality Disorder, we talk about a checklist. But what happens when that checklist was written with a very specific person in mind? What happens when your culture teaches you to express pain in a way that medicine doesn't recognize? In this episode, we pull back the curtain on how BPD is shaped and perceived across different cultures. Whether you’re a clinician...

Is it possible to be a good parent when you have Borderline Personality Disorder?  Parenthood is hard enough, but what happens when you add Borderline Personality Disorder into the mix? We unpack what the research really says about parenting with BPD, from emotional dysregulation, shame, and attachment challenges, to the incredible empathy, protectiveness, and determination many parents with BPD b...

Your Addiction is a Solution (And That's the Problem) It’s not about partying, it’s about survival. For someone with BPD, substance use isn't the primary problem, it's a maladaptive solution to the problem of unbearable emotional pain. In this episode, we get real about the powerful link between BPD and addiction/substance use.  If you've ever felt shame about your substance use, t...

Psychedelics are being hailed as the next revolution in mental health. Psilocybin for depression, MDMA for PTSD, ayahuasca with DMT for trauma. But where does that leave people with Borderline Personality Disorder? In this episode we explore what the research actually shows, powerful, conflicting lived experiences, the potential risks for people with BPD, and the deep questions around ego, identit...

Medication and BPD: it’s one of the most debated, confusing, and personal topics out there. In this episode, we unpack what the research actually says about meds for BPD and what they can and can’t do. From antidepressants to mood stabilizers to the “medication merry-go-round,” we explore the science, the side effects, and our own lived experiences. Whether meds changed your life, didn’t help at a...