Blended - Navigating The Blended Family Experience

It's more than likely that you've misinterpreted trauma for a hormonal outburst and vice versa. Eventully, running into this problem time and time again can be frustrating and cause us to walk on egg-shells. However, properly navigating reactions that resemble the last is possible! 

It's hard to know who and what we're dealing with as we're raising our kids. One minute we're dealing with a composed and clear minded human being, and the next we're navigating emotional land mines without any idea of what the trigger may have been. When our kids have experienced traumatic events, they are bound to struggle in a number of ways and this will show up behaviorally. It gets even more...

There is such thing as a toxic coparenting relationship. While discomfort and challenge are common as we navigate the coparenting dynamic, being on the receiving end of what feels like an effort to make someone miserable is difficult for anyone. Taking the higher road may require our best effort as we resist being weighed down the effects of toxic behavior that impacts our own family as well as th...

The co-parenting relationship  can be challening to navigate in even the most civil scenarios. Which is why many of us are quick to throw out labels such as 'toxic'. Viewing the ex as the enemy makes sense though. It makes detachment easier and the opportunity to focus our frustrations in a particular direction can feel pretty good for a while. However, even if the label is justified, does it serv...

(Spoiler alert!!) The answer is yes and no... We as step-parents get better, and we get better at navigating family. As we accept the dynamics of our family that we can't change and deal with our insecurities, we become more confident and resilient. As we learn to prioritize what is most important and fight to get on the same page as our spouse, the uncharterd waters that used to overthrow you wil...

Moving forward requires dropping some weight! Close to one hundred percent of the time, in order for things to move in a direction of health and functionality, there are things in our lives that simply have to die (I'm not talking about harming anyone else, so please calm down). We have to stop breathing life into certain mindsets, relational dynamics, habits and tendency to be passive in situatio...

What do we do when our backs are against the wall?! I've learned that we've all probably experienced this moment, we're going through it currently, or it's on it's way! The way that we respond in these moments tend to determine what's ahead for us and our families for the near, and potentially even distant future. There is always a way through, and you can expect to be better on the other side of...

If someone were to look at your efforts, what would that tell them about where you've placed your faith? We can say that we're believing for breakthrough in relationships or specific outcomes for our family, but our actions can express something entirely different. We need to move from a subconscious belief system to one that is intentional and stretigic about how we'll see our hopes come to pass....

The best outcomes for our families requires us to be present and invested! However, if we're faking 'nice' or pretending to be interested because it's simply what we're supposed to be doing, then we'll miss the mark over and over again. Surviving the difficulties until we arrive at the promised land is an enticing option as we navigate family, but this posture is much more likely to produce the ha...

Realizing that you're a people pleaser is a tough revelation! What may have started as a healthy desire to provide support and satisfaction for others, can become an inability to hold back our precious time, attention and resources. When the gift of kindness has become corrupt, we can become the type of people that consider ourselves valuable based on what someone else has to say. Freedom is on th...

The connection with your spouse is what keeps the relationship alive and fruitful! Our ability to endure the give and take that comes with family also depends on our efforts to remain on the same page. During this episode Margo and I discuss how we practice the life saving tool of checking in with one another. We also got to do some celebrating because what comes natural now, seemed impossible not...

It has probably never been so difficult for two people to get on the same page! The confusion around relationships and how they should be done seems to be growing by the day. This is no way to build a foundation for the future. In order to avoid the moment where we're trying to define our relationship, we have to put forth a counter-cultural effort of intention and living with clear direction. 

A whole and healthy family absent of resistance is a dream we often aspire toward. Reality may consist of coming to a point of asking ourselves whether we made the right decision to pursue this relationship. It's okay. Most people come to this crossroad! You can be dilegent in your efforts to answer that question and arrive at the best outcome for yourself, and everyone else involved. 

Have you ever felt as if your efforts were all for nothing? Have you ever gotten so low that you've even questioned your own value within your family? For most of us, we want to have a positive and lasting impact on those around us, but it often feels as if this hill is far too steep to climb. Evidence of our good works making change for the better can be hard to find at times, but that doesn't me...

My daughters join me to celebrate the milestone of 100 episodes! Considering I wouldn't be where I am without them, it's about time they made their stamp on the podcast! Each of the 100 messages have been personal as they've highlighted what we've learned and the things that we're in the process of walking through. Grateful for the growth and where our family stands today. More to come! 

Do you fight in front of your kids? Well, you should! You may need to redefine what it means to 'fight' with your significant other and some of the rules around what is and isn't within bounds may need to change as well. Nonetheless, much can be learned from a dispute handled the right way. Our kids don't need to be exposed to any and every dispute, but they should witness the way that we handle a...

Margo and I have a long list of the things that we love about one another, but we're not going to pretend that there's a list of things that we don't like. In fact, her words are "the most unattractive thing that you do" to be exact! I had no idea that sitting accross from one another and exchanging things that we aren't necessarily a fan of was a relationship goal of mine, but here we are. Gratef...

Anybody dealing with a little bit of chaos right now?? It's so easy for the things that are happening around us to incite responses that can resemble frustration, confusion, anger, axiousness or depression. But do we have to keep going through these cycles? Is our respsponse automated based on the chaos around us, or can we determine whether our peace will remain intact? I can assure you that we h...

Our children require so much in order for us to raise them up as healthy and capable individuals. Although they've been assigned to our care, by no means are they our property. Appreciating their real-life process and giving them them a small seat at the table as their parents lead the way, can and will make all the difference in their lives.

You don't make it to 11 years of marriage without some legitimate tests. While the idea of divorce wasn't something we entertained, we were definitely tempted to believe the thought that we'd be miserable because of all that came with our family. But, God!! Today, we can see the fruit of our efforts and the blessings on the other side of much heartache. Things are not perfect, but there is no ques...

Pride takes down families. Simple as that. It is as deceptive as it is destructive. If we were to closely examine the issues related to marriage and divorce, as well as other relational conflicts, pride wouldn't be too hard to find. Unfortunately, we all deal with it to some degree. Humility, on the other hand, is what strengthens bonds and makes way for the wisdom that we need to overcome even th...

As a stepparent, you may be tempted to prefer your biological child over your step child. This can show up in the form of comparison, inconsistent execution of discipline, or the outright shunning of your stepkid(s). There are plenty of reasons or excuses that we may use to get to this point, but this outcome is not uncommon! Correcting course so that we're not depending on our bio kids to affirm...

We've addressed who it is that we prioritize during singlehood and the early stages of blending. It's time to talk about what comes first when things get serious. Getting this right for our family has not been easy, but it is without question one of our greatest achievements! 

The process of blending your family is not a free-for-all! The decisions we make about how we spend our time, the well-being of our children and the proper way to invest into a love interest are crucial. This means we have to have our priorities straight. Depending on what stage you find yourself the person that requires your investment may look one way or another. Nonetheless, my wife and I have...

While apologizing is can be considered difficult for obvious reasons, being on the receiving end of an apology can be just as hard for reasons that aren't so apparent. The temptation to open up the floodgates and pounce on the opportunity at hand can seem irresistable. Whether we want them to understand the full weight of their transgression, or we're hoping to share a little bit of the pain, bein...