Blended - Navigating The Blended Family Experience

Another overlooked practice within the family unit, apologizing! This is a gift within every home and a skill to be developed. It's more than just saying "I'm sorry".... genuine apologies result in stronger connections as our homes choose the humility of admission over the pride of pointing the finger. Getting to this point takes time and what may feel like losses in the short term. However, the l...

Being a parent within the blended family dynamic is incredible! When things are hitting on all cylinders and we recognize traces of a ripple effect that we can trace back to our efforts, there's hardly a more satisfying feeling. There may also be moments when we ask, "what did I get myself into?" It's in these moments that we can begin to question whether we would have made the same decisions and...

Venting is an important part of regulating ourselves (a.k.a maintaining sanity), and it should be prioritized! Letting a little bit of air out over time keeps us from imploding when we least expect it. However, we can't release our stress and worries in whatever way we please. I've learned first hand that we can't be careless about how we go about the process. Being strategic about who we choose t...

The step-sibling relationship can be tough to navigate. At times you hear about the kids getting along as if they've been reunited with a long lost sibling. In other cases, it doesn't seem as if they can even stand being in the same room together. At the end of the day, the kids have likely experienced more than their fair share of pain. This makes it especially difficult for them to accept the si...

Considering everything that a child experiences within the blended family, it makes sense that their happiness is would be such a high priority. For other parents, it's also very difficult to take emphasis away from the development of their character and skills because those areas aren't getting enough attention. Which parent are you?? Doing right by our children and raising them with their best i...

The stop-and-go of a child leaving the home and returning can be taxing for everybody. If relationships are strengthening, their departure can be deflating. If we look forward to them leaving, then we probably won't receive them well when they get back. Not to mention the tax on the child as they go from one space to another. Reminding ourselves to function within our roles and the outcomes we wan...

Talk about learning on the job! As stepparents we don't have all of the answers. In fact, there are times when it feels as if we have none. This comes with the territory. Five things that I wish I had known:  Not all grown people are adults Heartbreak will become normal I am not defined by the failures or successes of my stepchild Teenagers kinda suck I can discern, but I cannot condemn We learn a...

I took the time to answer some blended family questions that I'm sure each of us can relate to! 

Every blended family is a comeback story! Marquette Walker is an excellent illustration of this. Marquette relates to the samaritan woman at the well mentioned in the book of John. That woman was known to have 5 husbands, and Marquette can say the same. The woman at the well was also known to have a life changing encounter with Jesus. This is also Marquettes story! Marquette's mental, emotional, a...

There's no shame in being overwhelmed by all the things that come with being a Stepparent. Personally, I took it all on and tried to keep it together, until I couldn't. Immense stress, worry and frustration was my reward for carrying all the weight that came with navigating this process. However, I've learned that empathy, holding tight to what's most important for the kids, and surrenduring it al...

Excessive levels of worry and stress have become the norm for countless stepparents. Simply dealing with the struggles that have produced some level of anxiousness is not working. In fact, it's causing lasting issues personally and within our relationships. As stepparents, we need to figure out what we're dealing with before we can find the right solutions! 

Ownership of our role as a stepparent, and closeness to our stepkid(s). These things may sound simple, but they can come with much challenge and confusion before things make sense. Do I have the right to refer to him/her as my child? What are the best moves to make in the face of resistance? How do I avoid causing offense or overstepping while also being everything that my stepchild deserves? If y...

Who doesn't want to be considered a good parent? We do our best, hope for the best, but what we get back isn't always the best. Sometimes it feels like our kid(s) have concluded that good parents make for better punching bags. If you can relate, your frustration is reasonable! However, we can't be so quick to judge our kids and sum up their behaviors as some form of disrespect or rejection of our...

There's no question that the idea of affirmation has taken a turn for the worse. Kids are suffereing from confusion and parents struggle to find the right kind of support as objective truth is considered a threat. My guest Stephanie Winn is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, whistleblower against gender malpractice, and host of the podcast You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist. During this epi...

The odds are against us.. Statistics suggest that a significant portion of marriages that include a child from a previous relationship end in divorce/separation. So how do we beat the odds?! After 10 years of blending our family, we can see clearly what has sustained us through even the most difficult moments. We've beat the odds, and we believe that you can too! 

Parents have an incredible amount of power! We get to lead and shape the lives of the the next generation. No pressure! Unfortunately, we don't always do this perfectly. In fact, many mistakes are made along the way. One of the consequences of our misteps is discouragement. This experience exists well beyond the moment that the seed of discouragement is sown, and the effects can be severe. As pare...

Too often we have an almost lazer focus on the things that aren't going well. We can be quick to forget about the wins that we fought so hard to take hold of and give attention to the things that appear to be working against us. Even in the midst of challenge, we can see the good, stir up some much needed gratitude and gain courage to keep moving. Don't get hung up on the pain of resistance. Set y...

As much as we may downplay it, fathers are so blessed when they're celebrated! To know that we are loved and supported by those closest to us is what matters most. We may not make this process easy though... Listen in as I discuss ways that you can celebrate the fathers in your life. This helps us to become better fathers, husbands and men on the other side of these moments. Guys, go ahead and mak...

The power of the reset button cannot be overstated! So many of us have the habit of carrying all of 'yesterday' into our 'now.' The result is offense, mental and physical tiredom and we place expectations on others that aren't fit or fair. My stepdaughter unknowingly introduced me to this concept as she would quickly move past the not-so-positive moments, as if holding onto even the most recent hi...

I took the time to answer some blended family questions that I'm sure each of us can relate to! 

Do you accept yourself? As you are? At this very moment? Most are either slow to answer the question or quick to pinpoint areas that require some serious maintenance. However, it's not just possible, but it is necessary that we are content even in the midst of our efforts to improve. Each of us will have the opportunity to take a step toward acceptance as we work to become best version of ourselve...

Our walk does not always match the talk ... You don't have to be a monster for a bit of hypocricy to show up in your parenting. In fact, the more we reflect the love and character of Jesus, the more likely we'll be to recognize the inconsistencies in the way that we lead. Parenting with integrity may require a bit more from us on a daily basis, but what it does for our families is well worth the e...

Have you ever come to the realization that you're carrying wounds from a previous relationship? Have you underestimated the impact that yesterday's wounds are having in this present moment?  Welcome to the club! Our relationships, especially our love interests, can result in emotional, mental and spiritual scars. Simply moving on from hurt and suspecting that we're ready for another commitment is...

We can be "well meaning" in our efforts and genuine about our intent to love and support everyone that we encounter. Regardless, we will likely find ourselves on the receiving end of disapproval from others at some point. If we're being honest, this typically isn't a comfortable position to be in. In fact, this experience can be crushing. Especially if this sense of rejection is happening in our o...

I felt the need to reshare last years most popular episode! I heard from a number of stepparents how difficult it was for them to practice the NACHO parenting style. These individuals had a difficult time embracing the the idea of "not my kid, not my problem." The issue of adopting this approach to parenting is the reality that you cannot be commited and faithful within your unique role, while als...