Big Book Awakening

In episode 105, Mary L. shares how, when she arrived at Alcoholics Anonymous, she was spiritually broken and bankrupt. She spent her first year going from meeting to meeting. In recovery, she learned how to walk again—learning how to talk again–learning how to live without alcohol in her system. Today, Mary realizes that she gained her freedom by going through the twelve-step program of recovery.

In this episode, Vladimir shares his experience, strength, and hope on the night we honor all celebrating a milestone in their sobriety in September. "Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now."

In episode #103, Bernie starts by sharing, "God has changed my life. Because I can't believe I have changed my ways." When Bernie was sixteen, he lost his chance to play professional soccer. On the day he was to meet with the scouts from the San Diego Sockers team, he was in court facing attempted murder.

In episode #102, Adam shares how he thinks he was an addict and alcoholic from the beginning. "All I cared about was drinking and using." Suffering from chronic relapsing, he would hit another bottom every five years and return to the program for help. This vicious cycle continued for twenty-five years until he experienced a breakthrough.

In episode #101, Oliver reads from the Big Book: "We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol."

In episode #100, Vinny starts by reading from Bill's Story, where he is having a third-step experience, which is part of our reading of step one. "There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I rut...

In episode #99, Arline shares how there has been a revolutionary change in her way of living and thinking. "Just that I can go to God instead of reacting in anger is a revolutionary change." The Big Book states: "Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude...

In episode #98, Luis L. shares how he was not the scheduled speaker. But over time he's learned that we must be ready to share our experience, strength, and hope. "We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined." –Alcoholics Anonymous

In episode #97 , Michael shares how dry sobriety with no solution and no real hope worsens over time. "And then I get to a place where my life becomes so unmanageable, so hopeless and dark inside that I can not see how taking a drink or drug will make it any worse. And so I return to that very thing I thought I would never do again. And it repeats over and over again. The only way I found any...

In episode #96, Jose G. starts by reviewing the three pertinent ideas discussed in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymus. And then boldly declares: "You are God's idea. The way you look, the way you think, the way you act. All God's design is on purpose for a purpose." His main point is that our past does not disqualify us from the future God has planned for us. "There is a ca...

In episode #95, Pat B. shares how his story begins with the twelfth step when he was fifteen. "More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life." Pat believed as long as he stayed away from "Meth," he would be ok. He didn't get sober until he was thirty-five years old.

In episode #94, Octavio shares how when he came to Alcoholics Anonymous, he had a lot of baggage and trust issues. His temporary sponsor helped get him through the hump until he could find his sponsor. "When I start working harder than others, and they are not responding, I learned to let go. And that's one of the things I had the hardest trouble with because letting go for me was almost...

In episode #93, Luis L. shares how his prayer and meditation practice reflects his child-like faith in our Creator. "The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves."

In episode #92, Bernie shares that he was always in church as a kid. By age fourteen, he stopped believing. "I lost my faith." His father was an alcoholic. "I didn't want to be like him. But I ended up like him."

In episode #91, Pat B. shares how: "This is the only thing, ever, in my life that I have stuck with. No matter how badly I failed at it. No matter how badly things are not going right. I still come back to it. I come back to following the instructions." In this episode, Pat reads from the Big Book, pages 84-85, and shares experience, strength, and hope with practicing this way of life, i...

In episode #90, Keith starts by reading from page 76 in the Big Book: "Now we need more action, without which we find that “Faith without works is dead.” Let’s look at Steps Eight and Nine. We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. Now we go out to our fellows a...

In episode #89, Luis shares his experience of going through steps one through seven, emphasizing steps six and seven. "The way we practice this is to make an appointment to be one-on-one with God... for at least an hour."

In episode #88: Vinny shares his experience with the fifth step from the perspective of being a sponsor or being in a workshop as a guide for people. His experience with the fifth step has been "wide, bumpy, not a straight line, and it's also been exciting."

In episode #87 - David M. shares how there is no doubt in his mind that his problems began when he was a child. "I grew up with a powerful, abusive father." After David admitted to God, to himself, and to his sponsor the exact nature of our wrongs, he broke free from the heavy load he was carrying his entire life.

In episode #86, Arline discovered how selfish she was in her last relationship after writing her sex inventory during the Big Book Awakening workshop. After a year in recovery, her "Sex Ideal" just came, and she was able to write it down.

In episode #85, Oliver shares how Alcoholics Anonymous was the end of the line for him. He was desperate. He needed a solution. "I was afraid of everything. I was so anxious. Fear is what drove my life. The frustrating thing was that "I did not know what I was afraid of until" Oliver went through the twelve-step program, the Big Book Awakening Way.

In episode #84, Christine shares for the first time the truth about her addiction to other things besides alcohol. "I was that girl always on the outside looking in. I never, ever, ever fit it. I never belonged."

In episode #83, Mary L. shares her breakdown of how she goes through a Step Four Resentment Inventory Worksheet. She starts the process by writing on paper: "I'm resentful at? Why am I angry?" Mary writes it all down and keeps writing until she's done. When you are doing your inventory, it is a constructive exercise. You want to be good to yourself.

In episode #82, Michael K. shares how the resentments (grudge list)we hold on to destroy us more than anything else. From these resentments stem all forms of spiritual disease. Many of our mental health issues and physical ailments can get sorted out with help from a doctor and twelve steps work.

In episode #81 , Krista shares how resentment is reliving a feeling (experience) over and over and allowing this person, place, or thing to live in her head rent-free. Step four is where we get access to God. This is the actual change of our minds. "I am breaking my heart open to allow love and forgiveness into it."