Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Infidelity

Following the revelation of sexual betrayal, a couple must decide whether to stay together or not. Choosing to stay married initiates a complex journey of recovery and healing, filled with challenges and triumphs.   However, the journey may be prolonged due to the betrayer's lack of understanding the needs of the betrayed. Initially, the focus is on the betrayer's recovery and repairing the damage...

Has the reality of porn-fueled infidelity in your marriage come to light? Have you both decided to stay together and want to do your part to save your marriage?   Husband, have you decided to go all in on making it right? Are willing to do whatever it takes to recover from the devastating consequences of your bad decisions, but moving forward in your relationship with your wife seems difficult?  ...

It wasn’t until I stopped using pornography altogether and the fog lifted that I learned just how much effect it had had on my brain. The further I got away from the porn and the more days of sobriety I achieved, I found that I was able to think more clearly and process the difficult truth of my sex-addiction. Understanding porn’s effect on my brain helped to explain so many of my actions, or lack...

How was your week? Did it go as planned? This week, a verse really hit home for us in a big way...   We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9   Imagine this - just as we were about to hit the button to record today’s podcast episode, a sudden interruption caught us off guard. Johnny received a private message that sparked a whirlwind of emotions and confusion. It was...

After discovering your spouse had betrayed you sexually, what was your initial reaction? We bet it wasn’t joy. We know that there are many volatile emotions that come on the heels of that shocking and devastating news - among them pain, anger, and confusion.   As you try to make sense of the senseless in your new unwanted reality, you may find yourself desperately longing for relief from the ever-...

Many of us have heard the phrase “Freedom Isn’t Free” and if you have not heard it, you likely understand the idea behind it knowing that in order to gain freedom of any kind some form of sacrifice needs to be made. And sacrifices are not called sacrifices because they are easy.   Are you feeling like you’re trapped in a never-ending cycle of anger, confusion, shame, and pain? Do you long for free...

The day you never imagined you’d ever live to see has come and gone; D-Day. You have discovered sexual betrayal in your marriage. Whether you found out or your spouse confessed, you can’t believe that this has happened. You may be asking yourself, Is my marriage over? Is it worth saving? Is it possible to move forward?   Today we are going to answer those questions from our own perspective. Spoile...

Do you ever stop and wonder why? Why did this happen? Have you lamented, “Can anything good ever come of it?”   When the discovery of sexual betrayal threatens to destroy your marriage, you may think you won’t survive it. Then, if you have made the choice to stay and do the hard work of recovery, you start to see God working in your life and marriage to bring hope and healing. A little further dow...

What is isolation, and where does it truly begin?   Imagine a lone animal in the wild, separated from its herd. We've all seen those heart-wrenching documentary scenes where isolation turns them into easy prey. Nature's example is a powerful reminder of a harsh reality: when we isolate ourselves from our community, we become vulnerable to the schemes and traps of our Enemy who is actively looking...

As a recovering sex-addict, I now find comfort in knowing that my addiction was real and that there is hope through recovery that I will not have to live the rest of my life as a “dis-integrated” man, always trying to hide myself from others based on a lie that if they really knew what I was doing, they would reject me.   But I didn’t always understand that I truly was a sex-addict. It wasn’t unti...

Have you ever felt like God was nudging you towards something challenging in life?  Maybe a call to step out of your comfort zone and venture into the unknown. It can be intimidating, right? Would you be willing to take that leap of faith and trust that God has your best interests at heart, even when the path ahead seems uncertain? If you have taken that leap, have you experienced God's faithfulne...

Does a cheating husband who has chosen the path of repentance and recovery experience any losses? The short answer is yes. But it may not be evident to a betrayed wife, especially when stacked up against her seemingly infinite losses. She may not see many tangible losses or consequences for his infidelity.   Today, we are going to outline some perceived perks received by the husband stemming from...

One of our listeners wrote in to ask a question about how to help her friend who is going through the pain of sexual betrayal. First, we just want to say how grateful we are for those of you who take time to write us and share what’s on your heart. We love to get questions that we can answer from our experience. Please keep them coming!   Today we will discuss two different types of friends in thi...

After betrayal, big emotions are a reality. When expressed well and received well, they can be a catalyst for healing and growth.    Today we will be talking about big emotions, what they are and how to handle them properly. We will also give you insight to the benefits of working through big emotions together to promote connection and intimacy. We’re excited to share our perspective on this topic...

My betrayed sisters, if you were given the opportunity to learn the truth about your spouse’s sexual betrayal, would you take it?   My fellow betrayers, if there was a safe and judgement free environment where you could get all your secrets out and alleviate your burden of shame, would you go for it?   Would you both be willing to do all it takes to reveal and know the truth?   Join us today as we...

Is your marriage thriving after sexual betrayal? Maybe not. Maybe you are just surviving.   You might just be at the beginning of the journey to healing and still don’t even know if you want to stay married. Maybe you and your spouse have been working hard on recovering from this devastation, but you aren’t really connecting in a fulfilling way yet. Or, maybe you have reached a point as a couple w...

Wives, has your husband stopped his acting out behavior and is even showing some behaviors that you appreciate, but you still feel like he isn’t a changed man? Do you still feel the distance between you? Like he doesn’t really see you?   Husbands, are you doing all the things your wife has requested and feel like you are moving forward in recovery, but she isn’t responding the way you hope or expe...

Have you been on the healing journey after sexual betrayal and you and your spouse are ready to level up? Do you want to experience more true intimacy?   Today we will be talking about 3 simple steps to take that are not easy because it will involve some risk. But, if you are looking for intimacy that goes far beyond anything that our world has to offer, it’s so worth it!   So, come spend a little...

Hopefully you’ve heard both sides of our sexual intimacy story, or lack thereof, in episodes 45 and 46. If not, we encourage you to listen to those to gain a better understanding of how we got to the place where our broken marriage got new life after God intervened and recovery began.   Now, we share a wonderfully intimate sexual life together, but it wasn’t easy getting here. On today’s show we w...

Men, do you have a secret relationship with pornography and/or others outside of your marriage? Are you consumed by your thought life and hiding things from your wife that you don’t want her to know? Is sex with your wife becoming challenging, difficult, or just too much effort? Do you feel misunderstood? Are you afraid that if she knew everything about you, she would leave you?   Last week, Emily...

Ladies, have you spent years trying to connect with your husband in a meaningful and fulfilling way only to find that you just couldn’t get there no matter what you did? Has it ever occurred to you that you may be trying to experience intimacy with a sex-addict? Seems oxymoronic, right? Intimacy with a sex- addict. We think so as well. But how many wives are living this nightmare without knowing w...

Ladies, now that you know your husband has been unfaithful and broken covenant with you; maybe through pornography use, maybe it even escalated to being sexually active outside of your marriage, I want to ask you, what is your biggest fear?   If you are like me, you are afraid that he will do it again. This is a very real and natural thing to be concerned about. Trust me, if it happened once, it c...

What happens to a marriage, shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, that doesn’t undertake a specific recovery process? What happens to the individuals in that marriage?     We believe, it’s likely that this marriage will be devoid of real connection and true intimacy. Sure, it is possible to stay married without recovery. Couples can sweep it under the rug denying it’s impact. Or, one spouse may be...

Have you ever experienced a life-changing revelation that compelled you to share it with others and integrate it into your life? This is similar to the impact of embracing recovery and is at the very heart of what we felt when we surrendered to Jesus. Today, we will explore the 12th step of recovery, and how we can actively share our message while living out these steps in our daily lives.   So, g...

Do you find it difficult to connect with God and know his will for your life?   If you said yes, you are not alone. Just like the recovery journey, it takes a lot of persistent and consistent effort to cultivate a close relationship with the Lord. It doesn’t come naturally to us mere humans, but there is a roadmap for discovering how to make connecting with God a priority. It’s found in the Bible....