Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Infidelity

Note: Our guest’s name has been changed for privacy.   Before she and her husband got married, he told her about his childhood sexual abuse and same-sex attraction. He said he was in counseling. She thought it was handled.   It wasn’t.   Thirty-eight years, four children, multiple betrayals, a rehab stint, and a relapse later, Suzanne knows the truth: healing is not a one-time decision. It’s a dai...

They met at a homeschool ski lesson when they were eight. Married young. Kids came fast. On paper, it was a dream.   Behind closed doors, it was falling apart.   Poor communication. Resentment. Faith tension. And in secret, Jacob’s pornography addiction escalated into sexual experiences outside his marriage. They were living entirely separate lives.   Then God showed up at a marriage retreat.   Du...

For decades, Felicia believed she was in a close, happy marriage—until a quiet afternoon in October 2022 revealed a hidden reality that shattered her world in an instant.     Felicia walks us through the profound shock of discovering her husband’s secret pornography addiction. She shares the painful aftermath: the feelings of isolation, the well-meaning but misguided advice to “just forgive,” and...

In this episode of our Summer Stories of Hope series, we speak with Kevin about his recovery journey and the restoration of his marriage. For years, Kevin struggled with a cycle of pornography use and secrecy that created significant distance in his relationship with his wife.   Kevin shares his experience of the discovery process, the difficult season that followed, including time spent apart, an...

Welcome to our “Summer Stories of Hope” series.     In this episode, we share Aimee’s story—a journey that forces us to look at how we survive when the ground beneath our feet shifts, not once, but repeatedly.     After thirty years of marriage and surviving the unimaginable agony of losing both her daughters, Aimee’s husband delivered the final blow: a confession of a long-term pornography addict...

We started the Beyond Broken Vows podcast with nothing but a desire to obey God’s call in the middle of our own shattered marriage.   Now, looking back after three years of walking through that fire with Him, we know one thing for certain: He is the ultimate Redeemer.   Our journey has been defined by the hard, holy work of surrender, and we are here to invite you into that same hope.   If you’re...

We often talk about the weight of sexual betrayal, but rarely do we discuss the invisible, spiritual webs that keep us tethered to our past. A soul tie is more than just a memory; it is an emotional and spiritual connection formed when we yield our body and heart to another.   While God established this spiritual framework to be the cornerstone of a healthy, covenant marriage, the Enemy of our sou...

In our series, Beyond the Wall of Isolation, we’ve spent the last several weeks dismantling the myths that keep Christian couples trapped in cycles of secrecy and shame. We’ve talked about the masks we wear, the burdens we carry, and the importance of a united front when it comes to our children.   But we know that for many of you, this series feels like it might be a little late. You’re listening...

In our current series, Behind the Wall of Isolation, we are dismantling the myths that keep Christian couples trapped in cycles of secrecy and shame.   Today we’re tackling something that keeps a lot of parents awake at night…   Should we talk to the kids about the betrayal?   And if so, when?   And how?   When hiding the reality of our marriage from our kids, we aren’t just trying to protect them...

In our ongoing series, Behind the Wall of Isolation, we are stripping away the myths that keep Christian couples stuck in cycles of secrecy and shame.   Building on our conversations about why “keeping it in-house” never protects a marriage, today’s episode walks through eight fears that stop many wives from sharing their story with others.   Join us as we address these obstacles head-on and discu...

Have you encountered one of the most dangerous traps in the entire recovery process?   Today we’re talking to husbands, who have been unfaithful to their wives, about the myth of “Managing the Reputation” which can trap men, and marriages, in isolation.   Husband’s, you may be terrified of what people will think if they see the reality behind the mask you wear. You’re holding onto the “honorable”...

Isolation is the secret weapon of betrayal. When a husband is hiding a life of porn or stepping outside the marriage for sex, he’s essentially building a wall. He’s living a double life, and that wall keeps his wife on the outside holding her breath, while he’s off in his own dark, private world.   It kills intimacy, it kills trust, and honestly, it turns marriage into a performance.   The goal is...

In this episode, we explore the destructive cycle of objectification, which is the act of stripping away a person’s humanity to turn them into a mere object for our own selfish purposes.   Whether performed mentally through imagination, emotionally to soothe personal discomfort, verbally, or physically, this objectification mindset can be a gateway to sin.   When we begin to view others as parts r...

Hello Man of God,   Have you been stuck in a seemingly unending cycle of persistent sexual integrity issues - be it pornography, one-night stands, sex workers, or long-term sexual relationships, only to find yourself in prayer, at the "alter" or at the "foot of the cross" asking God to remove this sin from your life?   Did God answer you??   Did God remove your desire for pornography??   For many...

In this episode, we reflect on the sacred weight of Passion Week, and invite you to pause and turn your eyes toward the transformative final days of Jesus’s earthly life.   From the triumphant shouts of Palm Sunday to the agonizing solitude of Gethsemane and the ultimate sacrifice at the Cross, this week is a reminder that the path to redemption always requires a death.   We reflect on the gravity...

As Christ followers, we absolutely want to use the scriptures as our primary guide for living our lives. Afterall, as it says in 2 Tim. 3:16-17, all scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training, in righteousness so that the servant of God may be equipped for every good work.   We love God’s Word, but sometimes we can use scripture as a weapon.   On today’...

We’ve walked the hard road of betrayal and addiction, and we know that half-measures simply don’t cut it when you are fighting for the heart of your marriage. True healing isn’t about just stopping the bad behavior—it’s about actively pursuing the life God intended for your covenant, even when the path is difficult.   Today, we’re talking about what it really takes to go the extra mile. We’re disc...

In our coaching practice, we see patterns emerge in different areas that tell a bigger story about what is going on in the minds husbands who have betrayed, and their traumatized wives.   Today we are going to talk about the scenario of a husband making suggestions for the recovery and healing of his wife. This is tricky ground. The husband’s motivation can come from a place of genuine concern or...

Today, we want to talk about an extremely painful question betrayed wives ask their unfaithful husbands.   It’s a question that torments a wife when looking at the history of her marriage through the lens of infidelity.   Those memories of special times spent together - vacations, family events, wedding anniversaries - are tainted by the new knowledge that she wasn’t his one and only love.   She c...

Today, we’re tackling Triggers and Trauma Responses, post-betrayal alarms that test our commitment after infidelity is discovered in the marriage.   We talked over this topic in our last Unseen Beauty wives care group gathering and it’s something that all betrayed wives experience. Several of the women gave examples of recent triggers and some were able to give wonderful insights on how to handle...

Sometimes recovery isn’t just killing one addiction—it can be like a game of Whack-a-Mole. Kill the sex addiction, and others pop up.   Picture this...you’re in an arcade, inexplicably drawn to the game called Whack-a-Mole. The idea of the game is when a mole pops up you whack it with a padded mallet, and as you strike it, it goes down into its hole.   But another one pops up in another area.   No...

Imagine this: You’ve survived the gut-wrenching reality of Full Disclosure. The truth is out—presumably there are no more secrets.   After a long healing journey, you’re starting to breathe again.   Then… bam. A new revelation drops.   Is it a devastating setback… or the breakthrough you’ve been praying for?   Today, we share a real story and the benefits that can turn pain into progress—stick aro...

Today, we’re diving into one of the rawest pains a marriage can face: infidelity.   Specifically, that pivotal moment when the unfaithful spouse – often the husband – finally comes clean. He unloads decades of secrets, and suddenly his prison of guilt and shame cracks open. Freedom hits him like a wave of hope.   But for the wife? Those same words shatter her world. She’s left carrying the weight...

Is honesty just as simple as telling the truth, or is there more to it?   We are going to unpack that question to reveal some nuances of truth telling that some may not have considered before.   But isn’t truth, truth?   Yes, truth is always truth, but what we’ve discovered through our own healing journey is that inside of the practice of telling the truth, there are layers that are not necessaril...

In our previous episode, we were focusing on questions some husbands and wives have about the need for a Full Therapeutic Disclosure as well as some of the reasons couples hesitate to engage in this process.    We have seen some amazing restoration of marriages through this process and today we’re going to talk about disclosure, not just what happens inside of a Full Therapeutic Disclosure, but al...