Bewildered

Martha and Rowan are taking a brief break, but the podcast is still here for you! This week we have another "Best of Bewildered" episode for you to enjoy. Why is it that sometimes when life looks most amazing, it often feels so…meh? Martha and Ro dig into the difference between a life that’s prescribed by culture and one that we invent from our inner wild selves. Instead of embarking on “adventure...

Martha and Rowan are taking a brief break, but the podcast is still here for you! You can enjoy a couple of our "Best of Bewildered" episodes…starting with this one! We all have some kind of beauty or wisdom inside of us, but “perfection paralysis” often stops us from sharing it. In this episode, Martha and Ro offer insights into how you can get past perfection paralysis, what the opposite of perf...

Freedom. Many of us value it above everything else—so why does it sometimes feel so terrifying? In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan talk about how the culture teaches us to fear freedom—that to be safe we must do what is expected of us. But this kind of “safety” is murder to the soul. With uncanny insight (and plenty of humor), they explore how we can opt out of culture, embrace our fr...

When it comes to parenting, culture comes on strong. There are so many contradictory opinions out there, and the judgmental attacks on parents come fast and furious about every little thing. Under this kind of pressure, how can parents raise happy kids who follow their own true nature? That’s the question Martha and Ro explore in this episode of Bewildered, and their insightful conversation brings...

Have you ever found yourself answering “I’m fine” when the exact opposite was true? Toxic positivity, or what Martha and Ro call “happy-washing,” is the cultural pressure to force ourselves into a state of performative happiness. In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro explore what really happens when we stop happy-washing, let go of culture, and come back to our true nature to express the ba...

A gracious German author once asked Martha if she was “a messy” after seeing the disorderly state of her hotel room. (She’d been frantically searching through her luggage moments before.) But is being "a messy" a permanent label that defines us? On this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan delve into the dichotomy of mess vs. order and the beauty to be found in chaos. Tune in for insights on ho...

Is enough ever truly enough? In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan examine our culture's pursuit of "enough"—a pursuit that never satisfies because it never ends. Drawing on Asian philosophy, their own helpful (and often hilarious) stories, and the occasional anecdote from the animal kingdom, Martha and Ro argue that "enough" may not even exist—and reveal what we're all starving for inst...

Did you know anxiety disorders have risen 400% since the pandemic? (And that's just the diagnosed cases.) The cultural idea is that we're victims of our chemistry. But when it comes to anxiety, we have a lot more choices than we might think. In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro talk about anxiety and its tendency to hack around any cultural solutions we throw at it. They also share the ans...

Is the culture trying to pull the wool over our eyes about time? (Spoiler alert: YES.) In this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan explore the concept of time and our complex relationship with it. From the “rubber time” of non-Western cultures, to the experience of “premembering” events that haven’t happened yet, to Einstein's theory that time is just an illusion, Martha and Ro cover it all. I...

Every culture has what Martha and Ro refer to as “hooks”—powerful influences that compel us to behave a certain way and that even shape our identity. How much we buy into the culture determines the extent to which we become stuck on these hooks. In this episode, Martha and Ro dive deep to explore the cultural hooks that often pull us away from our true purpose. They also offer insights on how we c...

They’re back! Martha and Ro are bringing you another installment of The BeWild Files where they talk about the things that YOU, their listeners, are trying to figure out. In this episode, Martha and Ro answer questions about how to make money with integrity when you're in a hurry, how to become more creative and less critical when leading teams, and how nature helps us take intentional rest when w...

Do you strive for perfection? Or does the need to be perfect prevent you from striving? We all have some kind of beauty or wisdom inside of us, but “perfection paralysis” often stops us from sharing it. In this episode of Bewildered, Marty and Ro offer different perspectives on perfectionism and talk about its antagonistic relationship with creativity. Tune in for insights on how to get past perfe...

Back by popular demand! In this episode, Marty and Ro deliver another installment of The BeWild Files where they talk about the things that you, their listeners, are trying to figure out. Marty and Ro discuss the importance of contrarians and counterculture to the culture as a whole (and also to our own inner culture), the concept of sin as a tool of control, and how joy is key to accessing our cr...

Shame. It’s a powerful tool for socialization and the strategy culture uses to keep us in its little box. In this episode of Bewildered, Marty and Ro dissect the ways we can be shamed and how we can move away from that into what feels true for ourselves. We all have those areas in life where we’re vulnerable to shame, but we also have areas where we can never be shamed. Tune in to this illuminatin...

You spoke, and Marty and Ro listened: they’re pioneering a new type of episode featuring things that YOU, their listeners, are trying to figure out. Introducing…The BeWild Files. In this episode (which contains more factoids than you probably care to know about the private anatomy of various animals) they discuss different modes of viewing our life choices and the importance of rituals around chan...

Some of us have plenty of energy to meet every cultural demand, but most of us have less. Enter Spoon Theory, Christine Miserandino’s brilliant analogy in which every action we take costs us a unit of energy represented by a spoon. Our culture is invested in what Ro and Martha call “Spoon Privilege,” whereby people who naturally have a lot of energy (or “spoons”) tend to set the standard that come...

Sleep: it’s not just for wimps and sissies. Until Martha and Ro dug into the topic of this podcast—the innocent little universal need for SLEEP—they didn't realize how much of a cultural minefield sleep is. There is SO MUCH sleep-shaming going on. They discuss the science of sleep, and all the ways that the culture is WHACK on this topic. Sleep makes us learn, makes us smarter, makes us heal, make...

Why is it that sometimes when life looks most amazing, it often feels so…meh? Martha and Ro dig into the difference between a life that’s prescribed by culture, and one that we invent from our inner wild selves. Ro offers us the concept of a Wild INventure—an adventure we dream up from within, something thrilling and bold that is also uniquely our own. Instead of embarking on “adventures” that are...

In this episode Martha and Ro talk about the “ultimate spiritual lifehack” for dealing with other human beings. Conflict is everywhere, and you can’t win enough arguments to ever escape the culture of argument itself. So Martha and Ro suggest a process of “ghosting” this part of the culture. The solution? It’s all about empty boats! Listen for insight, giggles, and a guest appearance by Buffy the...

In this episode, Ro and Martha talk about a disheartening phenomenon that can happen when you bring your truest truth into the world. Instead of positive or negative feedback, some people just won’t get you. This non-response is weirdly hard, but we can still come to our senses. Also covered in this fun-filled ep: Martha’s love-hate relationship with Siri, and for the first time Ro and Martha answ...

Martha and Ro reveal that they’ve both had “coming out” moments as mystics: people who seek to commune with, unite with, and understand “the mystery.” Both have had many inexplicable experiences, and they sustain a willing suspension of disbelief about all things magical. Ro urges listeners to remember that we don't have to reject science or reject magic, but we DO have to reject the idea that tho...

When a listener reports that this podcast allows her to “be more eccentrically myself," Martha and Ro dive into the topic of individual nonconformity. Going out into the world as your full and genuine self, how can you be brave enough to be weird? When you break the rules of the culture, you may experience tribal shaming or social betrayal. Martha suggests behavior tweaks and mindset shifts that c...

Returning to activities that we’ve temporarily abandoned—due to, say, a global pandemic—brings a whole slew of challenges. Do we do things how we used to, even though we’ve changed fundamentally as people? If not, how can we approach our old work, habits, or hobbies in new ways? In this conversation, Martha and Ro unpack “the tyranny of how it's done” and offer advice on checking in with your sens...

Has anyone ever told you that a particular life-changing app or journaling technique will help you get a handle on everything in your life? If so, Martha and Ro would like to inform you that they were LYING! Life is overwhelming, and no calendar or tool will change that. We can no more “stay on top of everything” than we can control the universe. Tune in as our hosts use examples from Confucianism...

Adulting is hard. So why is everyone on social media doing it SO MUCH BETTER than we are? In this funny and heartfelt episode, Martha and Ro unpack the comparison trap and remind us to define ourselves by ourselves. Martha points out that comparison sets us up to feel shame and misery and that it’s a force unique to certain Western cultures. Ro suggests realigning our points of reference and offer...