Bewildered

Have you ever kept pushing toward something that keeps pushing back? We’ve all been there. In this episode of Bewildered, we’re talking about the “push” and the “pull” and what it means to “jump into the river.” Many of us spend our lives pushing toward things that repel us, just because the culture tells us to. But when we stop pushing, we become su...

For this episode of Bewildered, we’re bringing back something we haven’t done in ages—the BeWild Files! This time we’re answering an excellent question from listener Jaison about whether true discernment is possible when our amygdalas are running the show. Spoiler: probably not. But being out in nature really helps, as does shared endeavor in community (and the occasional l...

On this episode of Bewildered, what starts as Ro's confession about late-night online shopping soon spirals into a story about our panicked late-night rescue mission for a box of creatures that weren't what we thought they were. In telling this story, we explore why panic and despair are the worst tools we have for saving the planet, and why good intentions are the most powerful footprint you can...

Have you ever mastered something...and then felt the urge to throw it all away and start fresh? In this episode of Bewildered, we explore the rhythm of growth and why change is not failure—it’s our true nature. We talk about the sunk cost fallacy, the cultural pressure to never lose your spot at the top of the pyramid, and the radical idea that it’s actually impossible to waste t...

When you hear “branding,” do you think of burning a hot iron into the side of a cow? Probably not, but that’s what a brand originally was. And metaphorically, it still is. A brand is a mark that defines where you belong, and our culture says it's never supposed to change. On this Bewildered, we start out in the world of branding culture and end up in the deep waters of impermanen...

What if you’re not burned out…you just don’t want to hustle anymore? In this episode of Bewildered, we talk about how hustle culture strives to make our lives sterile and abstract: from fluorescent lighting and spreadsheets to profit-and-loss statements and KPIs. We explore what gets lost in that way of life and how to reclaim our wild human power from a world that keeps turning...

Have you noticed how there seem to be “cheat codes” (as they’re called in video game world) that let certain people ignore reality and get away with outrageous things? What if we could use our own cheat codes to quietly change the world for good? In this episode of Bewildered, we look at how truth gets twisted, why consensus is shattering, and how we might discover new cheat code...

When life as you know it crumbles—lost jobs, shaken identities, houses (literal or figurative) in rubble—what if you’re not meant to rebuild the old structure at all? In this episode of Bewildered, we're exploring our deep attachment to “putting it back how it was,” how culture teaches us to fear impermanence, and what becomes possible when we let Nature “take t...

How do you continue doing ordinary human-life things while the world feels like it’s collapsing in real time? That's what we're trying to figure out on this episode of Bewildered. We talk about ping‑ponging between school runs, summer camp registration, doctor's appointments, and breaking-news notifications that feel like the apocalypse is upon us. If you've been feeling caught in this same...

How are you weathering the season you’re in? In this episode of Bewildered, we talk about what it really means to surrender to the season, whether it’s an upstate New York winter, perimenopause, a busy parenting era, or the “my foot hurts and I think my gums are receding” phase of life. We talk about how culture tries to flatten all seasons into one endless, brightly lit, 6...

Have you ever felt something was “off” about a situation or person...but then ignored that instinct to please others? In this episode, we explore how culture teaches us to override our body's internal signals in order to stay socially appropriate and “normal.” We talk about the difference between anxiety and intuitive warning, why our “social self” silences our...

What happens once you authorize your knowing? On this Bewildered, we pick up where we left off about authorizing our essential, deep knowing and explore the question: What happens next?  We talk about what it means to stop living by the culture's rules and start seeing life as a video game where we’re not just avatars bopping around—we’re learning to write the code of the ga...

Ever feel like the world is telling you what to think, do, or believe—until you’re not even sure what you know anymore?  In this episode of Bewildered, we’re talking about “authorizing your own knowing”—a concept we picked up from the incredible Dr. Lisa Miller. We explore how to reclaim your own inner guidance, trust your instincts, and stop outsourcing yo...

What if the person you say you want to be… isn’t really who you want to be at all? In this episode of Bewildered, we talk about what it means to follow culture instead of joy, and how it all boils down to what Martha has learned (in person and on Instagram) about zebras and horses...   Tune in to discover whether you really want to be the person you think you want to be, and...

Do you suffer from “resting misery face”? Many of us do, and in this episode of Bewildered, we’re diving into exactly why that is.  A few hints: It has to do with the brain’s “default mode network,” our hardwired negativity bias, the cultural pressures to stay miserable and afraid, and how our imagination tends to conspire against us. The good news is that...

Have you ever been willing to “give up anything” for something you wanted? On this episode of Bewildered, we’re talking about the spiritual lesson that to be truly open to receiving something new, we first have to put something down. We share stories about letting go of things in our own lives and how that made space for wonder, awe, and our most precious experiences. It’s...

Does your life ever feel like a game of Tetris, where you get totally overwhelmed by all the pieces coming at you?  In this episode of Bewildered, we’re talking about how to get through the chaos that is modern life: from role fragmentation, to relationship and caregiving pressures, to work responsibilities, to sleep deprivation. Join us for some world-class life coaching (and plenty of...

Are you looking for ways to handle life when the culture’s rules no longer apply, and everything keeps changing at warp speed? In this episode of Bewildered, we’re talking about “flying blind” with confidence—trusting your body’s wisdom, adapting to new realities, and creating a path forward that’s right for you. We’re sharing personal stories, plent...

We all need to take things in to keep us hydrated, not just physically, but also creatively. In this episode of Bewildered, we discuss what we call “filling the well”—receiving great art, stories, and creativity from others—and how it can replenish us and make us able to give and create ourselves. We share our rituals for getting inspired, explore why delight matters more t...

We’re in the middle of moving house (and Ro’s turning 45!) so our whole daily rhythm is being shaken up. But disruptions can be a great opportunity to consciously redesign your life. In this episode of Bewildered, we explore “day mapping,” staying responsive to nature’s cues, and letting your deepest yearnings guide you—instead of sticking to cultural rules or s...

What does a text about chickens have to do with the meaning of life? We're glad you asked! In this episode of Bewildered, we examine how our culture teaches us to avoid touch, fear time, and forego relationships for transactions. We dive deep into how we’ve been pushed away from nature and each other by systems that value money most, and we explore the things that really make life worth livi...

Our culture believes that the only way to fix all the bad stuff in the world is to stare at it relentlessly, as if our sheer focus could solve things. (Or at least prove we’re not part of the problem.)  However, there are more effective ways to be the change, ways that include beauty and joy. On this episode of Bewildered, we’re talking about how we can actively change the world w...

Do you find it difficult to share your unique offerings with the world? How about charging money for your work? In this “Best of” episode of Bewildered, we dive into a question from listener Rebecca who’s trying to find the courage to shine her light in the world—and get paid well for it. We share some of our own experiences with this issue too, and offer three magical litt...

“QUICK! DO THIS NOW! IT’S URGENT!” Do those words spike your pulse? We're constantly pressured to do things that serve the system, and we’re trained to think of these things as urgent. But are they? In this “Best of” episode of Bewildered, we dive into the topic of urgency: How there’s a type that will crush your soul and a type that will grow it—and...

In our culture we’re socialized to believe that if we suffer enough, we’ll be rewarded later—and our reward will be happiness. In other words, happiness is something we have to earn through suffering. On this “Best of” episode of Bewildered, we challenge this cultural belief, inspired by the words of 14th century mystic St. Catherine of Siena who said, “All the...