Bewildered

Have you been outsourcing your knowing to apps, rings, and to-do lists...but you still feel overwhelmed? We’ve been there. On this episode of Bewildered, we talk dog crates, corn patches, and cushion forts: all the places we retreat to when another “fabulous plan” hits the wall. We also share about our timid shelter dog Rumi, a marathon runner who couldn’t feel his own exha...

Most of us would probably agree: We wish to work less, but not get paid less. Is that countercultural, or just common sense—or both? On this episode of Bewildered, we’re looking at the distinction between working hard for the culture and working hard for our own true nature—and how to tell if you’re spinning on a hamster wheel or actually getting some traction. We also talk...

In the face of the unprecedented complexity of today’s world, how do we navigate our days? On this episode of Bewildered, we explore why five-year plans and rigid schedules no longer work, and how to trust the unexpected pockets of beauty in our days instead. Join us for the full conversation to hear how to ditch cultural expectations, go up and down with the water, and find the magic hiding...

We’re all chasing a destination—that big promotion, that perfect relationship, that hundred million dollars—convinced that once we arrive there, life will finally stop life-ing and everything will fall into place. This time on Bewildered, we dig into why relationships, body, and money are “the biggies,” why the place we want to go always recedes like a desert mirage,...

This time on Bewildered, we’re doing something kind of interesting… Using the brilliant Broadway musical Hadestown by Anaïs Mitchell, we explore how we feel about work, money, “the man,” patriarchy, capitalism, and the grind that feels like hell. But as Anaïs Mitchell points out so beautifully—and as we’re discovering for ourselves—there’s...

Trying to figure out why something always happens to you? In this episode of Bewildered, we’re talking about recognizing patterns that repeat in our lives, what causes them, and how they feed the culture (and the culture feeds them). By shifting the story from “Why is this happening to me?” to “Why is this happening to me?”, we become curious detectives of our own psy...

Do you ever feel like there are invisible people in your head criticizing your every move, even when you’re by yourself? We’ve found that a lot of people have this experience, us included. The good news is we don’t have to be stuck with it. In this episode of Bewildered, we’re talking about how to recognize the critical voice of the culture, how to free yourself from it, an...

We all need more hobbies…and we’re not joking. In this episode of Bewildered, we dig into why the culture dismisses hobbies, pushing them to the margins, when really they can be radical forms of rebellion. We talk about how to “enrich your own enclosure” rather than waiting for someone else to do it, how money can kill creativity (but doesn’t have to), and why interd...

This time on Bewildered, we’re talking about the human tendency to brace against good things happening—to freeze in place, even in the middle of a summer day. The culture teaches us that if we let go of our pessimism and caution for a second, something will get in through the chinks. So we look at the greenest landscape and our vibe is still: “Winter is coming.” But the ult...

Have you ever kept pushing toward something that keeps pushing back? We’ve all been there. In this episode of Bewildered, we’re talking about the “push” and the “pull” and what it means to “jump into the river.” Many of us spend our lives pushing toward things that repel us, just because the culture tells us to. But when we stop pushing, we become su...

For this episode of Bewildered, we’re bringing back something we haven’t done in ages—the BeWild Files! This time we’re answering an excellent question from listener Jaison about whether true discernment is possible when our amygdalas are running the show. Spoiler: probably not. But being out in nature really helps, as does shared endeavor in community (and the occasional l...

On this episode of Bewildered, what starts as Ro's confession about late-night online shopping soon spirals into a story about our panicked late-night rescue mission for a box of creatures that weren't what we thought they were. In telling this story, we explore why panic and despair are the worst tools we have for saving the planet, and why good intentions are the most powerful footprint you can...

Have you ever mastered something...and then felt the urge to throw it all away and start fresh? In this episode of Bewildered, we explore the rhythm of growth and why change is not failure—it’s our true nature. We talk about the sunk cost fallacy, the cultural pressure to never lose your spot at the top of the pyramid, and the radical idea that it’s actually impossible to waste t...

When you hear “branding,” do you think of burning a hot iron into the side of a cow? Probably not, but that’s what a brand originally was. And metaphorically, it still is. A brand is a mark that defines where you belong, and our culture says it's never supposed to change. On this Bewildered, we start out in the world of branding culture and end up in the deep waters of impermanen...

What if you’re not burned out…you just don’t want to hustle anymore? In this episode of Bewildered, we talk about how hustle culture strives to make our lives sterile and abstract: from fluorescent lighting and spreadsheets to profit-and-loss statements and KPIs. We explore what gets lost in that way of life and how to reclaim our wild human power from a world that keeps turning...

Have you noticed how there seem to be “cheat codes” (as they’re called in video game world) that let certain people ignore reality and get away with outrageous things? What if we could use our own cheat codes to quietly change the world for good? In this episode of Bewildered, we look at how truth gets twisted, why consensus is shattering, and how we might discover new cheat code...

When life as you know it crumbles—lost jobs, shaken identities, houses (literal or figurative) in rubble—what if you’re not meant to rebuild the old structure at all? In this episode of Bewildered, we're exploring our deep attachment to “putting it back how it was,” how culture teaches us to fear impermanence, and what becomes possible when we let Nature “take t...

How do you continue doing ordinary human-life things while the world feels like it’s collapsing in real time? That's what we're trying to figure out on this episode of Bewildered. We talk about ping‑ponging between school runs, summer camp registration, doctor's appointments, and breaking-news notifications that feel like the apocalypse is upon us. If you've been feeling caught in this same...

How are you weathering the season you’re in? In this episode of Bewildered, we talk about what it really means to surrender to the season, whether it’s an upstate New York winter, perimenopause, a busy parenting era, or the “my foot hurts and I think my gums are receding” phase of life. We talk about how culture tries to flatten all seasons into one endless, brightly lit, 6...

Have you ever felt something was “off” about a situation or person...but then ignored that instinct to please others? In this episode, we explore how culture teaches us to override our body's internal signals in order to stay socially appropriate and “normal.” We talk about the difference between anxiety and intuitive warning, why our “social self” silences our...

What happens once you authorize your knowing? On this Bewildered, we pick up where we left off about authorizing our essential, deep knowing and explore the question: What happens next?  We talk about what it means to stop living by the culture's rules and start seeing life as a video game where we’re not just avatars bopping around—we’re learning to write the code of the ga...

Ever feel like the world is telling you what to think, do, or believe—until you’re not even sure what you know anymore?  In this episode of Bewildered, we’re talking about “authorizing your own knowing”—a concept we picked up from the incredible Dr. Lisa Miller. We explore how to reclaim your own inner guidance, trust your instincts, and stop outsourcing yo...

What if the person you say you want to be… isn’t really who you want to be at all? In this episode of Bewildered, we talk about what it means to follow culture instead of joy, and how it all boils down to what Martha has learned (in person and on Instagram) about zebras and horses...   Tune in to discover whether you really want to be the person you think you want to be, and...

Do you suffer from “resting misery face”? Many of us do, and in this episode of Bewildered, we’re diving into exactly why that is.  A few hints: It has to do with the brain’s “default mode network,” our hardwired negativity bias, the cultural pressures to stay miserable and afraid, and how our imagination tends to conspire against us. The good news is that...

Have you ever been willing to “give up anything” for something you wanted? On this episode of Bewildered, we’re talking about the spiritual lesson that to be truly open to receiving something new, we first have to put something down. We share stories about letting go of things in our own lives and how that made space for wonder, awe, and our most precious experiences. It’s...