Becoming Me

Episode 119    In this episode, I discuss the concept of spiritualising forgiveness and its implications in faith and daily life. I talk about how the struggles many people often face in integrating love and forgiveness in their lives are due to an insecure attachment with God and a fear of not doing the right thing. I talk about the pitfalls of spiritualising forgiveness and how true forgiveness...

Episode 118    In this episode, I dive deep into the topic of self-care, self-love, and how they relate to spirituality from a Christian perspective. I challenge the common misconception within some Christian circles that self-care may be seen as a sign of weakness or indulgence. I emphasise the importance of recognising our individual, personal needs for care and suggest that neglect of self-care...

Episode 117    In this in-depth discussion, I provide a Christian perspective on the journey of healing from complex trauma within a dysfunctional family setting. Six gentle reminders are shared for those trying to manage relationships within such dynamics: acknowledging the enmity; having a trustworthy third party; remembering self-abandonment is not love; not measuring up to an imagined ideal; g...

Episode 116  In this episode I examine the connection between past emotional trauma and present conflicts in relationships. Aided by three personal stories, I illustrate how past familial conflicts have influenced my own internal emotional regulation triggering conflicts in my current relationships, especially within my marriage. I also share how greater self-awareness can lessen the severity of c...

Episode 115  In this episode I explore the concept of 'enmeshment', a term used in psychology to describe dysfunctional family systems marked by poor boundaries between family members and thus over-dependence (and co-dependence). I reflect on how growing up in an enmeshed family has affected my own mental health, relationships, and understanding of faith, leading me to develop a 'Me...

Episode 114  If you're a people-pleaser, chances are good that you also have an insecure attachment with God and that your understanding of "pleasing God" comes from a place of anxiety rather than confidence. This episode discusses the struggles of recovering people pleasers within the context of spiritual life. I  share some insights on a passage from 'Time for God' by Ja...

Episode 113  When those of us who never had boundaries start learning to exercise them, it can feel really "wrong" to us and this may keep us second guessing if drawing boundaries is the right thing to do. In this episode I reflect upon the struggle of exercising personal boundaries in the context of faith, familial expectations, and societal norms. I delve into my journey of establishin...

Episode 112    In this episode's deep dive, I explain the vital connection between our senses of identity and security in faith, sharing insights drawn from Catholic tradition, modern psychology, and personal experience. I share about my journey towards developing a secure attachment with God, and how the prayer of the Examen, which originated with St. Ignatius of Loyola, helped me in this jo...

Episode 111    Have you experienced feeling overwhelmed while making the interior journey? In this episode I propose three coping strategies for these difficult periods: the understanding that nothing real changes, realising that we are not the saviours of ourselves or the world, and being extra gentle and mindful towards ourselves. I also highlight the significance of recognising seasons and rhyt...

Episode 110    Conviction alone can’t get you where you want or need to go. When we don’t do the work of interior integration we often end up hiding behind our convictions to feel safe instead of flourishing because we are rooted in a secure relationship with God and our Self. In this episode, I explore how personal integration is a crucial factor for living an authentic and balanced life. I share...

Episode 109    What's the difference that healing and integration makes we  get triggered back into old insecurities and anxieties? We often expect that healing will result in the absence of struggles but in reality, the journey involves self-awareness and fostering a sense of internal freedom with which we learn to manage our anxieties and insecurities. In this episode I recount a personal e...

Episode 108    In this episode, I delve into how understanding complex trauma has helped me in my spiritual life. I share how certain challenges I face, such as emotional regulation in stressful environments, couldn't be solved merely through deepening my spiritual life and prayer routine. By learning more about trauma, I discovered how coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms have shaped my...

Episode 107    Do you feel overwhelmed in Advent and more tense than usual? Does that make you feel guilty all the more because it makes you feel like you're not "doing" Advent well? In this bonus episode, I share my personal experiences about the overwhelming feelings often associated with the Advent season, particularly for those on a trauma recovery journey. I talk about my strug...

Episode 106      Have you ever felt that gut-wrenching feeling that something just isn't right in your life, but couldn't quite pinpoint the cause? That sense of dissonance might actually be the key to unlocking a more authentic and fulfilling life. In this heartfelt conversation, I examine the importance of authenticity and attunement, and how these two conflicting needs can cause us to...

Episode 105            “What’s an interior integration coach and why are you one?” I often get asked how what I do is different from spiritual direction, counselling/therapy and life coaching. In this last episode from the 30 day challenge series I explain what interior integration specifically addresses and how the kind of coaching I do draws upon, differs from, complements and integrates other a...

Episode 104            Why is it that even when we KNOW what we need to do and when we even try to do “the right things” so few of us truly thrive and flourish? In this episode I share how getting things done (even when they are good things) without attunement to ourselves, to God and others will lead to us showing up more and more as “empty shells” and using one another as objects instead of lovi...

Episode 103            There is a secret shame and hidden pain for those of us whose community (family/church) value marriage and children when our marriage situation does not match that “ideal”. In this episode I responded to someone who asked how she could be authentic to herself, God and others in her struggle to make sense of her infertility. How can she still believe in the goodness of God an...

Episode 102            "What real life difference does interior healing make in our day to day living?" "What difference does healing make to the way we see, approach and experience the interior journey?" "What does one need to do to begin healing?" "And how does the soul feel when we move from a season of healing/deepening to a season of equipping and then sendi...

Episode 101            "Does burnout and imposter syndrome always mean we are not doing what we are meant to do?" "If our wounds impact how we respond to others, how and when does sin come in?" "Can trying to practice boundaries make us sin? Is feeling guilty be an indication that we are doing something wrong?" In this episode I respond to these questions from the per...

Episode 100            So many of us wish to know our gifts and our mission or vocation, but few know that without healing and integration we won’t be able to truly discern or live out our giftings or vocation. In this episode I explain WHY it is that trying to discern our gifts or mission without going through healing is often ineffective, resulting in us remaining trapped in not knowing who our...

Episode 99            I used to appear confident and successful externally but felt so anxious inside. I was a high achiever who felt like an imposter and who feared losing the regard that others had of me because of my achievements. In this episode I share the real experience of my journey into being able to confidently choose to be aligned with who I am and the gifts I know I have been given by...

Episode 98            How do we begin to develop secure attachment with God and others in adulthood when we have struggled so long with insecurity about our loveableness? In this episode I break this question down from the perspective of interior integration and share some practical steps you can take. This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on l...

Episode 97            How can you maintain inner freedom and equilibrium when other people project their issues onto you? In this episode I explain the first principles behind a process that allows us to become more anchored in our True Identity which will allow us to respond to other people’s projections onto us with greater authenticity and integrity. I teach this process in the context of leade...

Episode 96             “How do I pace myself on the interior journey when the speed of what comes up (mostly past experiences, childhood memories) is faster than what I can process or unpack?” In this episode I offer THREE clear and very practical steps of what to do when the interior journey becomes overwhelming. This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where...

Episode 95            In my season of deep healing I was led to rediscover how to receive delight, rest, pleasure, rest and be extravagant with beauty without guilt. I never knew until that season how “holiness” and “goodness” and my image of God had been distorted in my life through trauma to be narrow, pedantic, dogmatic and puritanical. Hear how I experienced embodied spiritual healing through...