Becoming Me

Episode 169 I've been quiet for the past month without an announced break. In this shorter episode I share with you the reason for my silence as well as an update about what's happening in the podcast.  Watch this recording on YouTube. Links to my recent Holy Week written sharings (mentioned in this episode): To My Fellow Complex Trauma Survivors Who Struggle with Holy Week A Good Friday...

Episode 168 In this re-sharing of a Season 10 episode, I explore why deconstruction is a necessary part of healing from complex trauma — especially for people of faith. I define deconstruction as questioning assumptions we've never questioned before and opening up to new possibilities. I share three zones where I've experienced this: 1. Self-Identity — Differentiating between the surviva...

Episode 167 In this episode, I'm exploring deconstruction through the lens of differentiation and individuation—two psychological concepts that have profoundly shaped my faith journey. For years, I related to Catholicism the way I related to my family of origin—with enmeshment, not healthy boundaries. I believed that closeness meant having no division, that love meant disappearing into the ot...

Episode 166 In this bonus mini-episode,  I share what it's like to taste the fruit of a nine year long interior integration and healing process of my family of origin complex trauma. I describe in concrete terms what this feels like in my body and in the impact I see it has on the rest of my family. I hope this encourages those who are similar healing journeys! Watch on YouTube here . Support...

Episode 165 Have you ever wondered why some people deconstruct not only their religion but also their entire faith in God, while others deconstruct aspects of organised religion yet retain a relationship with the divine or even with the Christian God? In this episode, I explore the distinction between deconstructing our notions of God and deconstructing the institutional aspects of faith like Chri...

Episode 164 In this episode, I talk about how moral injury can be connected to or trigger deconstruction. This is a topic that has been deeply significant in my own journey of interior integration and healing. Moral injury is the damage done to one's conscience or moral compass when we perpetrate, witness, or fail to prevent acts that transgress our own moral beliefs and values. Originally st...

Episode 163 In this episode, I dive into one of the most challenging aspects of deconstruction: trying to explain it to others who haven't experienced it themselves. I respond to a thoughtful question from a follower about how to remain committed to the church while being honest about its limitations during deconstruction. But as I share, this question itself reveals the gap between those obs...

Episode 162 Welcome to my first episode of 2026! After a six-week break, I'm returning with greater clarity and readiness to share about a topic I've been living through: deconstruction. In this episode, I'm opening up about my personal journey through deconstruction—not as an outside observer, but as someone who has walked (and is still walking) this difficult path.  What I Cover:...

Episode 161 What if the reason spiritual abuse is so rampant yet unrecognised in the Church is because these kind of dynamics have always been part of the way the Church existed in the world? In this deeply personal episode, I talk about my journey awakening to and grappling with the legacy of spiritual abuse and trauma within the Catholic Church. I share the story of how I was led in my interior...

Episode 160 We know we’re called to holiness, that we’re called to be saints. But have we really grappled with what holiness means? With what becoming saints really mean? In my latest podcast episode I share how I have come to ask these questions in much more earnest after learning about how even canonised saints commit great harm to people, and how some of these harmful actions are even considere...

Episode 159 In today's episode, we explore the intersection of enmeshment trauma and spiritual abuse. If you're new to the concept, enmeshment trauma occurs in families that are too close to the point where individual boundaries and self-identity are compromised. This episode delves into the signs and impacts of enmeshment trauma, such as poor boundaries, lack of self-identity, feeling o...

Episode 158 In this episode, I continue the discussion on spiritual abuse by focusing on Abuse of Conscience. I share my personal journey of discovering this subtle yet pervasive form of abuse, how it affected my life, and my path to recognising my own role in it.  I discuss how my own spiritual trauma and distorted image of God fuelled my participation in this form of spiritual abuse and share ho...

Episode 157 In this episode, I build on my last episode’s discussion of how culture, disembodied faith, and trauma contribute to an environment conducive to spiritual abuse. I delve into the responsible use of power and influence, sharing personal insights and experiences.  I discuss how, even with good intentions, we can unintentionally harm others by imposing ourselves and violating the sacred f...

Episode 156 In this episode, I delve into three factors that facilitate spiritual abuse, especially within the experience of many Catholics. Reflecting on a personal experience during a silent retreat, I explore how complex trauma, disembodied faith, and cultural influences create environments where spiritual abuse can easily occur.  I share insights on recognising these dynamics and discuss the i...

Episode 155 In this episode, Paul Fahey joins me in a pivotal conversation about spiritual abuse within the context of evangelisation and church communities. We share our journey from years of traditional evangelisation to a deeper understanding of the Great Commandments and how they relate to the Great Commission. We examine the importance of truly loving others as Christ loves us and how our dis...

Episode 154 As I round off Season 10 of the Becoming Me podcast, here’s an overview of how my content has evolved together with the progression of my interior journey and some updates to address inquiries about my coaching offers. As I take a break from the podcast to recalibrate, I invite you to explore past episodes and continue engaging with my content on my other platforms. God bless and happy...

Episode 153 In this special episode about being securely loved by God the Father, I sit down with Isaac Wicker, a Catholic licensed therapist from Minnesota with a decade of mental health experience and host of the 'Whole Human' podcast. Isaac shares his unique upbringing in a deeply Catholic family in the Communion and Liberation Catholic movement, his transformative experiences, and hi...

Episode 152   In this deeply personal episode, I explore the impact of Pope Francis' recent passing, especially how he became a bridge of trust during my period of intense interior deconstruction. Over the past decade, I've grappled with my Catholic faith, my relationship with the church, and undergone a profound journey of inner healing.  I share how Pope Francis’ actions and witness of...

Episode 151 (Bonus)   In this special bonus episode for Holy Week, I share a deeply personal and vulnerable story about my journey through spiritual trauma and healing. Last year, I wrote an open letter on my personal blog, disclosing the challenges I've faced and continue to face as a complex trauma survivor within the Catholic faith.  From experiencing physical symptoms of distress during M...

Episode 150   In this heartfelt conversation, I sit down with Paul Fahey, a limited licensed professional counselor, retreat leader, and catechist from Michigan, USA. Paul shares insights from his work in pastoral counseling for Catholics who have been spiritually abused and his efforts to educate ministers to be more equipped in their ministry. We delve into the complex nature of spiritual and re...

Episode 149   In this episode, I delve into the unique challenges that Catholic and Christian trauma survivors face in their healing journeys. Drawing from my own experiences and observations, I outline five specific reasons why faith can often complicate trauma recovery for believers.  From the difficulty of accepting abuse within 'good' religious families, to the guilt around naming ha...

Episode 148    In this episode, I address a profound question from a long-time podcast listener and religious sister in Southeast Asia regarding her healing journey. We explore the intricacies of feeling productive and empowered at times, facing moments of deep uncertainty and doubt at others, and when questions of authenticity, accountability, and integrity become overwhelming.  I break down the...

Episode 147    In this episode, I discuss a common challenge faced by complex trauma survivors: the notion that those who harmed us did the best they could. I emphasise why it's crucial not to accept this idea too early in the healing process.  We need to focus on acknowledging the harm and injustice inflicted upon us before considering the limitations and reasons why our abusers acted the wa...

Episode 146    In this episode, I delve into the challenging and often misunderstood topic of deconstruction, especially for those of us healing from complex trauma as persons of faith.  I share my own journey and how deconstruction has been an essential part of my healing process. We'll define what deconstruction means in this context and explore the three zones where I experienced it: Self-...

Episode 145    In this episode, I open up about the challenges of experiencing setbacks in the healing journey. I share a recent personal experience that triggered a significant emotional response and discuss the importance of recognizing and managing these setbacks. By acknowledging the dynamics of our internal responses, such as through the lens of Internal Family Systems and complex trauma, I h...