Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

Brainwashed into a religious cult. Our caller escaped 10 years ago, but she's only now starting to process the trauma: from sexual manipulation and poison, to hallucinations and "mind melding". Chris talks about therapy (and discovers a mutual love for go kart rides). This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Mailchimp ( www.mailchimp.com ), HUAWEI ( www....

Today's caller discusses beating cancer and raising her son as a single mom. Through all of her struggles, big and small, she's stayed relentlessly positive. Let's just hope she doesn't get fired for talking to Chris for an hour while at work! This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Mailchimp ( www.mailchimp.com ), Harry's ( www.harrys.com code: BEAUTIF...

A "dolphin" personality type. Betrayal. Anger. Lunch at a buddhist temple. This week's caller has it all. This episode is brought to you by AMEX, Mailchimp, Stamps.com, Harry's, and Talkspace.

A small town police officer chats with Chris about the current state of policing in the United States. They try their best to reconcile a divisive issue that incites a lot of passion on all sides. And this is all going on while our caller is on his couch watching Fail Army videos on YouTube. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, AMEX, HUAWEI, Casper Mattresses, and Joyable.

Hannibal Buress joins Chris on a call with a college freshman who is a lover of comedy struggling to find romance in his life. Should our caller ditch school and try his hand at comedy? Why were Chris and Hannibal crying last night? Is it normal to be aroused by stealing? These questions and many more will be answered. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Mailchimp, Totes, Stamps.com, and Tal...

Adopting a child from a foreign country takes a lot of time, patience, and passion. This week's caller has all of these things. He also has the hope that his son-to-be will have the opportunity to experience virtual reality toilets. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Mack Weldon, Stamps.com, Talkspace, and Grommet.

Burner, fire-performer-hoola-hooper-grinder-girl, and maybe, a modern-day Shakespeare (on molly) are a few labels we could ascribe to this week's caller. She's been through a lot, including the very shocking breakup of her up-and-coming band. Oh, and on a lighter note: heard of shirt-cocking? Guys, just don't do it. This episode is brought to you by AMEX, Mailchimp, Stamps.com, Casper Mattresses,...

Just in time for Halloween, Chris and this spirited artist trade spooky stories...until they are rudely interrupted by the ghost of an angry biker. But the corporeal beings prevail, if only for the caller to give Chris his least favorite nickname ever: Chris Giraffe-Herd. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Talkspace, and Totes.

Did someone say "brain orgasms??" Today's caller did! She gives Geth a lesson in how to whisper in just the right way to make Beaut/Anon listeners' brains tingle & feel the stress melt away. ASMR me ASAP! This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Grommet, Psychic Source, and Stamps.com.

Dear Tom Waits, we look forward to hearing the song you write about this week's caller: falling in love with a stripper, skipping town in a blizzard, a christmas dinner in the demimonde of Boca Raton. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Mack Weldon, Psychic Source, Stamps.com, and Joyable.

London Calling! (or somewhere in England) Our caller works in the film industry, and in general she's a pretty happy person...except when her phone is being monitored by Jar Jar Binks, or when 10,000 pounds disappear. (That's GBP, y'all!)This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Stamps.com, Grommet, and Insecure on HBO.

This week's caller is a linguist who teaches Geth all about the "corpora." In case that's too nerdy for you, hang around for the story about a first date that was captured on a Coast Guard thermal camera. And if you're still not satisfied, we'll take you shopping at the Face Depot. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Talkspace, Audible, and Stamps.com.

Chris Gethard's Mom, Sally, is the kind that doesn't like her son swearing so much. Our caller's Mom is the kind that cheers when her daughter gets a penalty in a youth hockey game. She's also the kind of Mom that picks up the phone at work to be on a podcast she's never heard of. This episode is brought to you by Blue Apron, Casper Mattresses, and Talkspace.

Sure, there's stories about fighting neo-nazis, deranged tree-house guests, and a mom fetching her son's busted teeth. But peel back all the sensational layers and you'll find a man. A man trying to make sense of his childhood while trying to be a good father to his own child. This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron, Stamps.com, and Talkspace.

What is a Chronotope? And what does it have to do with time, space, love and sex? Come, walk with us through the streets of Paris, and everything will be explained. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Mack Weldon, Stamps.com, and Talkspace.

Poo-tiful stories flow freely from this anonymous caller. And Geth steps in it. This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, DKMS, Talkspace, and Blue Apron.

Morrissey sings, "It takes strength to be gentle and kind." Well, Geth hasn't eaten all day, and this self-avowed "Noodlebody" is about to find out if the two hard-boiled eggs Gethard bought from the midtown 7-11 will provide enough strength for gentleness & kindness. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Magoosh, Stamps.com, Stitch Fix, and Talkspace.

"You're about to hear me have more fun than I've ever had in the history of Beautiful/Anonymous." So sayeth Chris Gethard about this call, which moves from over emotional long distance running, to emo & screamo music, to a jaw dropping medical emergency. Chris is having so much fun that he invites a couple of the caller's friends to join the party. This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, DKMS, Talks...

For generations her family has been preaching fire and brimstone in the Pentecostal church, but this caller had to find her own way. A self-described, "Anglican bipolar black sheep," she is now preaching a much different message, dedicated to the treatment of mental illness. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Magoosh, Blue Apron, Stamps.com, and Squarespace.

This former professional soccer player's life hasn't turned out anywhere close to what she planned -- but she's happy. And as she tells Chris, she's learning how to tap into her competitive spirit every day. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Talkspace, and Magoosh.

She's a mother of two and domestic abuse survivor who wants to talk about Trump.  After hearing her life story Chris understands why she supports The Donald. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, Talkspace, and Stamps.com.

He loves animals! But kids? Not so much. This caller delves into his own childhood, his dislike of hardware megastores, and though there's a little darkness, this is one of the more lighthearted calls we've ever had.

A lot of people call up and share stories from their past. But today we are very much living in the present. It's almost like we're experiencing this caller's life with him as it is happening. All aboard the SEPTA train. This episode is sponsored by Seat Geek, Stamps.com, and Squarespace.

Loves hashtags & millennial abbreviations? Check. Has a deep knowledge of RomComs? Check. Found love in a hopeless place? Check. Name drops J-Lo and inspires Chris to sing some Peter Gabriel? Check. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon.

She's just 25, but her mother has early onset Alzheimers. This is a call about remembering those who can no longer remember themselves. This episode is sponsored by Ibotta and Audible.