Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

Ever wonder what it's like to be paid to secretly watch shoppers on camera? This week's caller works in the retail field of "loss prevention." He tells Gethard about the time he confronted a shoplifter and got punched in the face, and discusses how the American heroin epidemic is directly correlated with retail theft. Plus, Gethard hears a little bit about the caller's unorthodox personal life. Th...

This week's caller is a somewhat unconventional podcast fan. He loves Beautiful/Anonymous even though he's never technically heard an episode. Hmmm. Mysterious. He shares his unique experience with the medium, his outlook on life, and his best party tricks.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Hulu Plus, ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Casper...

A poet-to-be calls in to the Beautiful Anonymous live tour. She and Gethard get off to a slow start. That might work in the studio, but the live audience gets a little restless! So the caller turns to the people closest to her to help ramp up the excitement. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Detour (www.detour.com/beautiful) and Talkspace (www.talk...

Struggling to realize her creative ambitions in early adulthood, this week's caller confronted body image issues when younger. Gethard gives her a pep talk and discusses the challenge of being creative while dealing with other people's judgement. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel from Audible (www.audible.com/Esther)...

Raised in a tumultuous household and married at eighteen to the pastor's son, today's caller was divorced before she turned twenty. Betrayal, love triangles and shotgun deaths are all a part of the wild ride that she's lived in her twenty-six years. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Detour (www.detour.com...

Against the odds, a caller from one of the earliest, most listened-to calls manages to get through for a second time. Unprecedented! The caller gives Gethard an update on what's happened in his life since his first call over a year ago. They chat about dealing with internet commenters (which might instigate some more internet comments). This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.co...

Big parties with lawyers gathered around piles of cocaine. Inequality in the criminal justice system. Huge corporations ripping off the families of jailed inmates. Gethard talks to a public defender about these topics, and discovers her favorite word: alleged. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful) and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES).

One hour ago, in the rain, this week's caller experienced her first kiss. She tells Gethard about the high school experience in 2017 covering the new (Snapchat, group texting, nerd culture being cool) and the established (SATs, teen pregnancy, crushes). She also explains how writing Harry Potter fan fiction in the 6th grade led to her current hobby, writing romance novels. This episode is brought...

Should this week's caller quit his lucrative corporate job to pursue his passion? His dream is to purchase a small business but he's nervous that he'll lose his financial stability. Chris chats with him about the plusses and minuses at play in this big life decision.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), ZipRecruiter (www.zipre...

Gethard has a threesome! Okay, okay...it's just a three-way phone call, but this week's callers are a married couple who talk to Chris about their swinging lifestyle. Find out how they meet other swinger couples, what the proper etiquette is in an 8-person orgy, and how they make sure their babysitter doesn't find out. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), S...

Chris asks a midwife some real questions: has she ever seen someone in labor punch someone else? And, what happens to the schmutz left behind after a birth? Politically divisive topics are covered and important lessons are learned (like, never tell a family that the baby looks just like the dad). This episode is brought to you by Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Warby P...

It's a story like something out of a surreal American novel, with wealth and poverty intertwined. On the phone while hiking a mountain, this week's caller tells Chris about his youth, spent experimenting with every drug known to man. Chris was reminded of the famous quote from professional wrestler Dusty Rhodes: "I have wined and dined with kings and queens and I've slept in alleys and dined on po...

Assigned as a female at birth, this week's caller has been socially and medically transitioning for close to four years. He answers some of the most common questions cis people have for trans people. He also tells Gethard what questions you probably should not ask a trans person. And somehow, this involves the Italian ham known on The Sopranos as "gabagool."This episode is brought to you by Square...

After graduating from the actual (pre-Jack Black) School of Rock, playing with the likes of Peter Frampton, this week's caller found himself traveling the world as a cruise ship musician. Get the behind-the-scenes details on life at sea and its secret black market economy, plus hear a very special Springsteen sing-a-long between two Jerseyites. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mail...

For the one-year anniversary episode, Chris reunites with the very first Beautiful Anonymous caller: Ron Paul's Baby. Find out if having his story told to millions of people has changed him for better or worse. Did the spotlight destroy him or save him? Most importantly - has it gotten him some dates? This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Seeso (www.seeso.com), ZipRecrui...

A chance encounter at a coffee shop unearthed difficult experiences from this caller's high school years. The troublesome nature of the call brings out Chris's anger and rarely-seen "North-Jersey-guy-ready-to-break-bones" side. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Seeso (www.seeso.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talks...

Having a reformed criminal kingpin for a dad has made it difficult for this week's caller to find his path in life. At his father's urging, he studied water systems engineering, which means he can answer a serious question that's been on Geth's mind: Why does the tap water smell so weird in Florida? The answer to that question may be a bit hard to grasp, but understanding will be found in the idea...

The caste system, religion, arranged marriages and bisexuality are on the mind of this caffeinated caller. Raised in Kenya and India, educated in California and currently living on the East Coast, he opens up about dealing with his conservative religious family. The conversation spans from breaking down western stereotypes about Indian culture, to the amazing dosa place that Gethard goes to in Que...

Interested in the intricacies of how the US electrical grid functions? No? Well, you will be interested in hearing about how the caller wants to "disconnect from her ex-boyfriend's power grid". Love, in the language of electricity. Sit back and soak up the metaphors. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Blue Apron (www.blueapr...

Today's caller is recovering from a serious illness acquired while working on peace building in East Africa. He likes to give Chris a hard time but also talks about some deep stuff, like contemplating how to maintain one's idealism and passion when suffering from chronic illness. Also, he hopes the Beautiful Anonymous community can help him find a permanent home for a dog he's currently fostering....

At a young age, he found himself a divorced father of four. Battling depression, all he wanted was to find a nice girl to take on a date for some spaghetti and meatballs. Recovering from the low point in his life, and from career stagnation, this college dropout wants to finish his degree and become a teacher. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Talkspace (www.talkspac...

Addicted to heroin for ten years, this week's caller got clean because she wanted to be a good mother to her new son. She tells Chris about how she started using when a high school boyfriend introduced her to pills. Eventually she was living in her car and spending time in jail, where she networked with other addicts and dealers. She hopes that by speaking with Chris she can help those who may be...

Raised by parents who moved from Vietnam to the United States in search of a better life, this week's caller is her family's first American-born child. She talks about defying stereotypes and asserting her independence by dying her hair. Find out how her "Tiger parents" reacted when she embraced a goth punk identity in middle school and later when she went to work for a non-profit. This episode is...

How horny are high school marching band kids? Is it appropriate for a boy to dye his hair in the girls bathroom? This week's caller drank a sh**-ton (sorry Sally) of coffee and raises these very important questions. She also uses her practiced 'compassionate teacher' voice on Chris, and gets him to open up about his feelings on creativity, fame and success. This episode is brought to you by Mailch...

Growing up as a black woman in rural Appalachia wasn't easy. She was different, and she was bullied. But punk rock saved her, and helped her form her own identity. Chris interrupts her Snapchatting at the start of the call, which leads to a discussion about their experiences with social media around the election. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp ( www.mailchimp.com ), Mack Weldon ( www....