Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

Did someone say "brain orgasms??" Today's caller did! She gives Geth a lesson in how to whisper in just the right way to make Beaut/Anon listeners' brains tingle & feel the stress melt away. ASMR me ASAP! This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Grommet, Psychic Source, and Stamps.com.

Dear Tom Waits, we look forward to hearing the song you write about this week's caller: falling in love with a stripper, skipping town in a blizzard, a christmas dinner in the demimonde of Boca Raton. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Mack Weldon, Psychic Source, Stamps.com, and Joyable.

London Calling! (or somewhere in England) Our caller works in the film industry, and in general she's a pretty happy person...except when her phone is being monitored by Jar Jar Binks, or when 10,000 pounds disappear. (That's GBP, y'all!)This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Stamps.com, Grommet, and Insecure on HBO.

This week's caller is a linguist who teaches Geth all about the "corpora." In case that's too nerdy for you, hang around for the story about a first date that was captured on a Coast Guard thermal camera. And if you're still not satisfied, we'll take you shopping at the Face Depot. This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp, Talkspace, Audible, and Stamps.com.

Chris Gethard's Mom, Sally, is the kind that doesn't like her son swearing so much. Our caller's Mom is the kind that cheers when her daughter gets a penalty in a youth hockey game. She's also the kind of Mom that picks up the phone at work to be on a podcast she's never heard of. This episode is brought to you by Blue Apron, Casper Mattresses, and Talkspace.

Sure, there's stories about fighting neo-nazis, deranged tree-house guests, and a mom fetching her son's busted teeth. But peel back all the sensational layers and you'll find a man. A man trying to make sense of his childhood while trying to be a good father to his own child. This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron, Stamps.com, and Talkspace.

What is a Chronotope? And what does it have to do with time, space, love and sex? Come, walk with us through the streets of Paris, and everything will be explained. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Mack Weldon, Stamps.com, and Talkspace.

Poo-tiful stories flow freely from this anonymous caller. And Geth steps in it. This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, DKMS, Talkspace, and Blue Apron.

Morrissey sings, "It takes strength to be gentle and kind." Well, Geth hasn't eaten all day, and this self-avowed "Noodlebody" is about to find out if the two hard-boiled eggs Gethard bought from the midtown 7-11 will provide enough strength for gentleness & kindness. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Magoosh, Stamps.com, Stitch Fix, and Talkspace.

"You're about to hear me have more fun than I've ever had in the history of Beautiful/Anonymous." So sayeth Chris Gethard about this call, which moves from over emotional long distance running, to emo & screamo music, to a jaw dropping medical emergency. Chris is having so much fun that he invites a couple of the caller's friends to join the party. This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, DKMS, Talks...

For generations her family has been preaching fire and brimstone in the Pentecostal church, but this caller had to find her own way. A self-described, "Anglican bipolar black sheep," she is now preaching a much different message, dedicated to the treatment of mental illness. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Magoosh, Blue Apron, Stamps.com, and Squarespace.

This former professional soccer player's life hasn't turned out anywhere close to what she planned -- but she's happy. And as she tells Chris, she's learning how to tap into her competitive spirit every day. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Talkspace, and Magoosh.

She's a mother of two and domestic abuse survivor who wants to talk about Trump.  After hearing her life story Chris understands why she supports The Donald. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, Talkspace, and Stamps.com.

He loves animals! But kids? Not so much. This caller delves into his own childhood, his dislike of hardware megastores, and though there's a little darkness, this is one of the more lighthearted calls we've ever had.

A lot of people call up and share stories from their past. But today we are very much living in the present. It's almost like we're experiencing this caller's life with him as it is happening. All aboard the SEPTA train. This episode is sponsored by Seat Geek, Stamps.com, and Squarespace.

Loves hashtags & millennial abbreviations? Check. Has a deep knowledge of RomComs? Check. Found love in a hopeless place? Check. Name drops J-Lo and inspires Chris to sing some Peter Gabriel? Check. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon.

She's just 25, but her mother has early onset Alzheimers. This is a call about remembering those who can no longer remember themselves. This episode is sponsored by Ibotta and Audible.

It's the first ever taping of Beautiful/Anonymous from the Vulture Festival in NYC. The caller is a creative Canadian looking to sail her cardboard boat in the rough waters of daily life. Luckily the audience is on her side. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Casper Mattresses, Ibotta, and AMEX.Photos courtesy of The Vulture Festival.

This 25 year-old Californian is in the midst of a quarter-life crisis and turns to Chris for help. So they form a mutual appreciation society. #MAS This episode is sponsored by Ibotta, Chirpy, and AMEX.

A questioning Mormon and family man calls Chris up exactly 1 hour and 15 minutes before his final law exam of the semester. But this phone call is more important to him than the test. This episode is sponsored by AMEX, Mack Weldon, Chirpy, Stamps.com...

Two years ago a note came in the mail with surprising and horrifying news about her husband. But despite all the darkness that's crept into her life she is shining with positivity. This episode is sponsored by AMEX, Ibotta, Stamps.com, Chirpy, and...

We get our first hangup and it's pretty rattling. Let us know what you think. This episode is sponsored by AMEX, SundanceNow Doc Club, Framebridge, and Stamps.com.

This entrepreneur seems like he's got it all figured out. But there are certain things he will never reveal to Chris. Plus: how a volcano inadvertently caused the best trip he's ever had in his life. 

After 8 years and 4 kids he is more in love with her than ever. But she may not be in love with him. This is the first time he's talking to anyone about it. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Squarespace, and Framebridge.

This nurse has been up for 24 hours. Chris has the chance to ask her some questions that have been on his mind for a while.