Beat Motel Zine

What music will we love when we're old and decrepit? Will we swap death metal for classical funeral masses, or will we just keep playing Rush until it finally makes sense? In this episode, Andrew Laws and Dr. Sam (aka Salmonella) explore how our musical tastes might evolve (or decay) as we age. 🎵 Featuring riffs from: Mozart (because funeral music is just evil classical metal) Rush (because we mi...

Welcome to Beat Motel Podcast - Episode 121 , where Andrew Laws and Dr Sam set fire to good taste and dance around the ashes. 🔊 This week: Cottage cheese: culinary delight or bin juice? Does coughing make you think of Black Sabbath? The Wu-Tang Clan's Ipswich connection (it's real, honest). Melvins live: genius or just the same riff over and over? The ultimate metal gateway band —is it The Sword...

Ever looked at your old gig T-shirts and thought, "What was I on?" Well, we have, and in this episode, Andrew and his co-host, Dr. Sam , take a long, hard look at the bands and genres they once adored but now make them cringe (or at least yawn). We start strong with Andrew explaining how Jackie Chan's autobiography is more important than socialism, followed by a deep philosophical debate about whe...

This week, Andrew and Sam dive into the sheer agony behind some of music's most infamous recordings. From bandmates quitting mid-session to entire studios being demolished, these albums came at a heavy price. In this episode: Pranking housemates with terrifyingly coloured bodily fluids – because why not? Fleetwood Mac's Rumours – an album powered by divorce, cocaine, and spite. My Bloody Valentine...

We start strong with batter-fried nonsense, birthday chaos, and a bit of early swearing to keep things respectable (naturally). From there, we rip into bands, black metal, weird band names, and whether or not you should ever talk to someone at the urinal (spoiler: no!). This week's theme? Albums that should've been EPs, or as we call it: "Long-winded b0llocks that should've been cut down before th...

This week on Beat Motel , Andrew welcomes Daz Hewitt , Ipswich music legend and former bandmate, to talk about band reunions—both glorious and catastrophic . Of course, they immediately derail the topic and spiral into madness. Expect absolute nonsense , including: 🎸 New Wave of Pretty Heavy Metal – Daz accidentally invents a new genre while describing Poison, and we might be onto something. 🎶 B...

This week, Andrew welcomes Dr. Sam (aka Flan F***er Page—yes, really) for a deep dive into _great_ musical collaborations. Along the way, they cover everything from Tito Puente to Sinead O'Connor, the genius of Bernard "Pretty" Purdie, and a story about Ginger Baker's olive farm that involves derelict barns, blind-drunk driving, and horses casually chilling indoors. Expect rants about Gary Boys (a...

Andrew Culture teams up with Dr. Sam to unpack the most baffling, eyebrow-raising, and just plain pointless musical collaborations ever inflicted on humanity. From Elton John's karaoke shenanigans with Orville Peck to the baffling Lou Reed and Metallica mash-up that _should have stayed a rumor_, this episode is a glorious deep dive into the "why even bother?" of music history. Along the way, Andre...

In this episode of **Beat Motel**, Andrew Culture and Ollie dive headfirst into the treacherous waters of cover songs. From Blur's awkward moments to Jimi Hendrix being untouchable, the duo debates which bands and tracks are simply too sacred, complex, or ridiculous to cover. Along the way, they drop truth bombs about Madonna's infamous coffee table book, dissect Damon Albarn's lounge act origins...

It's the episode where **Andrew Culture** and Dr. Sam somehow make an entire hour of toilet chat, dodgy sampling, and musical rambling sound like a work of art. From unicorn stools (Google at your own risk) to squatting like a Baltic legend, the pair venture into a shambolic journey across music that sampled _what?!_ Expect the unexpected as they break down: - **Bodsore** sounding like a black met...

This week on **Beat Motel**, Andrew is joined by the triumphant return of Ollie, a co-host who's now "back by beat demand" (his words). Together, they light a candle for forgotten bands—metaphorically, of course, to avoid the insurance fraud that their shrine mishap inspired. From nostalgia-soaked anecdotes to relentless riffs, this episode explores the dusty edges of musical memory. **Highlights*...

This week, Andrew and Jago dive into the chaotic world of **musical rivalries**, from playground-level spats to outright murderous feuds. Highlights include: - Jago's dangerous addiction to seaside 2p machines, proving the only real winner is the arcade owner. - The eternal bitterness of Dave Mustaine (_35 million albums sold but still salty_). - Blur vs. Oasis—teen idols or commercial gladiators?...

**Episode Title:** _When the Drums Kick In – and Other Musical Mishaps_ **Hosts:** Andrew Culture & Dr. Sam **Summary:** Get ready for an unhinged exploration of the greatest moments when drums _really_ kick in – whether it's a masterful fill or just chaos in a trench coat. Andrew and Dr. Sam stumble through topics like Phil Collins' shiny dome revolutionizing baldness, the orchestral carnage of W...

In this week's audio catastrophe, Andrew is joined by Dr. Sam to discuss "best album endings." Naturally, this means chaos, sarcasm, and several tangents about guinea pig recipes, Björk's cat in pajamas, and why the Rolling Stones are basically for your mum. Musical choices span the predictable (Stone Roses) to the avant-garde (Bjork making cat noises). Plus, the duo spends more time rambling abou...

In this week's Beat Motel, Andrew and his co-host Dr. Sam tackle the odd world of _Great Albums with Terrible Songs_. Ever wondered why a near-flawless record gets ruined by a random ear-sore? Same here. Andrew dives into the trenches with Metallica, Kyuss, Radiohead, and others, pondering why bands sabotage themselves with tracks that barely qualify as filler. Dr. Sam treats us to a sociological...

In this episode, Andrew and Dr Sam dive into the world of singing drummers—because why settle for just bashing skins when you can also belt out tunes? Expect a thorough dissection of jazz chaos theory, led by Peter Evans and his so-called "three-stooges" approach to organised sound. The duo also explore Karen Carpenter's dual talents, Red Fang's unadulterated riffage, and Mastodon's... well, let's...

In this episode of Beat Motel Andrew is joined by Dr Hannah. Join us as we dive into non-English music, from French hip-hop to North African future funk and Italian soap-opera jams. Along the way, we touch on archaeology, conspiracy theorists, and of course, toilet humor – because what's a Beat Motel episode without that? We chat about: - Dr. Sam's political philosophy doctorate (no, he can't save...

In this episode of "Beat Motel," Andrew Culture and _Spamuel Rage_ (because who else could conjure up such bizarre music choices?) return to the long-anticipated second half of their chaos-fueled breakdown: _Great Band, Terrible Decision_. Naturally, things get out of hand, with deep dives into bands that alienate their own fans, riffs that make zero sense, and Devon Townsend's baffling alien coff...

In this episode of **Beat Motel**, Andrew and the eloquently deranged **Spamuel Rage** dive deep into the delightful chaos of _Great Bands, Terrible Decisions_, and the unexpected tangents of _Multiple Songwriters in One Band_. Expect loud opinions, questionable facts, and unfiltered rants about music that might just leave you scratching your head—and, if you're like Andrew, maybe scratching somet...

**Episode Summary:** In this episode of _Beat Motel_, host Andrew Culture welcomes guest co-host Ollie Pearson to chat about one of life's crucial topics: music for hangovers. Together, they explore the perfect tracks to ease the pain, from ambient soundscapes to feel-good ska, and discuss how to nurse a hangover in style. From nostalgic memories to surprising musical connections, this episode cov...

In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew Culture and Dr Sam, aka "Spamuel Rage," dive headfirst into music, madness, and musings with their signature punk rock attitude and chaotic humour. From noise gigs that leave them temporarily deaf to exploring the wildest genre mashups, the hosts passionately share the bands they wish they could have been part of. Expect raucous riffs, personal stories, and mo...

### Riffs of the week #### Dr Sam's Riff - Citric Dummies - Look Out World (I'm Eating at Arbys) (0.30) #### Andrew's Riff - Smashing Pumpkins - Sighommi ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. Metallica - Creeping Death (1.24) 2. Black Midi - John L (opening) 3. GWAR - The Salaminizer (opening) 4. Beastie Boys - No Sleep Til Brooklyn (opening) ### Andrew's track choices 1. David Bowie - Join the gang (1:31...

The Musician's Union campaigned to ban drum machines. That's like a chunk of cauliflower campaigning to ban toilet roll. It just makes no sense. In this episode of The Beat Motel Andrew is joined by the always hardcore Dan Callis. What we didn't know before we started recording this episode is that Dan is currently under the influence of some fairly heavy sedation following surgery. Listener discr...

Girls in Cars? Boys in Cars? Nonbinary people in cars? Nongendered People in Cars? Animals in Cars! Animals driving cars! Absurd. Lets just stop, now. Please. PC gone mad! Slightly fluffy skin bags in cars! Everybody loves a car, don't they? They've have been a feature in rock'n'roll since rock'n'roll was wore bobby socks. (Apparently, Bobbysocks were a 1980s Norwegian band who entered Eurovision....

Movies are too long these days. The big ones are all bladder-busting lengths, indulgences rarely seen since the bloated bullshit of early 1970s prog nonsense. If you want a bit of escapism these days, you tend to have to endure the flatulence of this nonsense. Is the death of the cinema neigh? Who cares? A fun thing to do is watch music videos (Sorry, Jello Biafra—good ones are an art!). A lot of...