Beat Motel Zine

Ever watched a music doc and thought, "Cor, this band's story is brilliant!" only to press play on their actual music and feel your soul quietly retreat into your ankles? This week, Andrew and co-host Dr. Sam put the needle on the record and realise some bands should've stayed in the cutting room. We take a scenic drive through the trainwreck glory of Milli Vanilli , the baffling existential crisi...

This week on Beat Motel, Andrew relives his childhood by rolling down Ed Sheeran's hill into a pile of dog muck, and Dr. Sam reveals he's spent more time chasing cheese than dignity. Somewhere along the way, they accidentally remember this is supposed to be a music podcast. The theme? Cats. That's it. Not subtle. Not deep. Just cats. From SpongeBob's snail-pet Gary to the purring sleaze of Queen's...

If you've ever wondered what a Finnish man in a bedroom with a broken keyboard sounds like, then you're weird. But also in the right place. This week, Dr. Sam joins Andrew for a dive headfirst into the murky swamp of obscure music genres, where rules don't matter and the cats are in charge. Expect tangents galore: from liturgical black metal to folk electronica via squee (yes, it's a thing), this...

In this nostalgia-drenched episode of Beat Motel, Andrew Culture and voiceover man extraordinaire Martin Whiskin hurl themselves headfirst into the deep, murky swimming pool of school memories—and promptly slip on a Verucca sock. Expect less of a structured discussion and more of a chaotic ramble through: Drinking out of pickle jars, Nutella jars, and possibly things we shouldn't mention. Childhoo...

Ever wondered what it's like to be whipped in the cobblers by a carbon fibre tent pole? No? Well, you're about to. In this episode, Andrew returns to the studio and brings along Dr. Sam for a high-brow chat about testicular trauma, Trev & Simon, and the absolute best music to make your hips involuntarily wiggle like an over-caffeinated toddler. The theme this week? Songs to swing your pants to. Th...

What is it about British summer holidays that brings out the absolute weirdest memories? Andrew Culture is joined by returning co-host and beard-stroking wordsmith Martin Whiskin for a full-tilt, memory-lane-meets-puke-stained-train episode about all things "Summer Holidays." We kick off with threats from Grotbags, traumatising pantos, and a deep dive into the bizarre puppetry obsession of '80s ki...

Ever argued over who controls the aux cable on a long drive? In this episode of the Beat Motel Podcast, Andrew and Dr Sam dive into the tunes that keep them sane (or send them spiralling) on epic car journeys. From Queen's Greatest Hits to post-metal tantrums, and from Pete Seeger's calm reassurance to jazz-adjacent Icelandic loops, we dissect the soundtracks that power our road trips, intentional...

In this special detour from our usual Beat Motel rambling, Andrew and Dr. Sam swap the studio for the chaos of Hellsinki Metal Festival (yes, with two Ls, because one L just isn't metal enough). We navigate Finnish beer, dodge suspicious wrestling moves, and try to work out why 8% lager is even legal in a place with mosh pits. Expect unfiltered commentary on bands like Kanonenfieber , Decapitated,...

This episode of the Beat Motel Podcast drops you into the sweaty, glorious middle of a music fundraiser that brought Bury St Edmunds together in the loudest way possible. I hit the Hunter Club and the town's rehearsal rooms to catch a full day of DIY brilliance, chat with bands and scene-makers, and find out what happens when a town fights for its music spaces. Whether you're into punk, indie, or...

Is it possible to judge an album by its cover? Absolutely. Especially when it's got skeleton hands, raging suns, or Geiger's flesh nightmares on it. In this episode of the Beat Motel podcast, Andrew and recurring co-host Martin Whiskin dive deep into the album art that shaped our musical tastes, plastered our pencil cases, and possibly got Dead Kennedys sued. From the raw power of Monster Magnet a...

Episode 140: Great Bands, Awful Names (feat. Dr Sam) Brace yourselves for a melodic mess as Andrew and the returning legend Dr Sam dive into the world of bands that slap sonically but utterly fumble the name game. From the majestic chaos of Defeated Sanity (yes, really) to the ultra-bland University , it's a wild ride of killer riffs and cringe monikers. Expect: Funkadelic basslines from Graham Ce...

John Peel. The man, the myth, the reason you accidentally got into Bulgarian throat singing that one time. This episode of Beat Motel is a loving, ramshackle dive into the chaotic universe of Peel Sessions. Andrew Culture is joined by Mick Derrick from Prolapse, who proves that the road from crusty-sounding band names to DIY folklore is paved with weirdness, cassette tapes, and gigs no one came to...

If you've never been ready to square up in a Spoons car park over your favourite band, are you even a real music fan? In this unreasonably passionate episode, Andrew is joined by the charmingly volatile Martin Whiskin as they dive fists-first into the bands they'd get into an actual fight over. Expect tales of local legends, rag-tag riffs, posh ska punks, and very specific ball-based analogies. Fe...

Ever looked at a band and thought, "Yeah, I'd ruin that with my presence" ? Well, so have we. This week on Beat Motel, Andrew is joined once again by the mighty Oli as they dive headfirst into the chaotic world of bands they wish they'd been in. From the sleek, suited swagger of Interpol to the beer-soaked riff factories of Gentleman's Pistols, we ramble through a weird and wonderful landscape of...

In this ear-bleeding episode of Beat Motel, Andrew is joined once again by Dan Callis for a deep dive into the heavy, the noisy, and the downright daft corners of modern metal and punk. If you're here for thoughtful analysis, jog on. This is a celebration of volume, riffs, and the bands that make you question your own taste. Starting off with tech issues and a healthy dollop of despair at podcasti...

This week on Beat Motel, Andrew is joined by the ever-eloquent Dr. Sam to unpack the joys, horrors, and outright weirdness of musicians who make sweet music and even sweeter love together. Things get rolling with a heated debate about whether soup is a drink, a meal, or just a gateway to genital injury. Seriously. From Tom Waits' transformation at the hands of Kathleen Brennan to the relentless Yo...

Who knew an episode about colours could spiral into tales of crusty white-boy dreadlocks, the audio texture of brown, and Robbie bloody Williams dragging Tony Iommi into the Britpop bin fire? This week, Andrew and Dr Sam dive into the murky, vibrant, and occasionally neon world of music and its connection to colour. We're not talking about your A-Level synaesthesia essay here. This is a chaotic ra...

What happens when you love music but live with people who have ears? This week, Andrew and Dr. Sam dive headfirst into the steaming skip bin of Forbidden Music —those tracks that are so loathed, so divisive, or just so downright baffling that they've been banned in their own homes. From the glitchy chaos of Venetian Snares to the crime against ears that is Nightwish, no genre is safe. We cover eve...

This week Andrew is joined by the ever-lovely Dr. Sam to discuss albums that feel like coming home. Naturally, they barely stick to the topic. Expect bowel-related rants, coffee-fuelled enema chat, and Dr. Sam outing himself as the world's most dangerous urinal misuser. They dive into the albums that comfort them like a warm blanket (or a familiar loo seat), including Ugly Kid Joe, Black Sheep, Th...

Hold on to your ethically-sourced coffee and buckle in for a truly chaotic dive into the shallow end of music industry sellouts. This week, Andrew is joined by the ever-cynical Dr Sam, and the pair bravely attempt to answer the big questions: Can Slayer officially sod off? Is ABBA secretly prog disco royalty? Would Paul McCartney say "alright mate" if you bumped into him on the street? From slaggi...

This week, Andrew Culture is joined by Dr. San to answer the all-important question: what do Viz magazine, squirrel-based hip-hop folklore, and Captain Sensible have to do with sunglasses? A lot, apparently. From tales of tragically inebriated rodents to obscure country pastiches and mid-80s goth crooners, we dive eyeballs-first into a lens-tinted trip through musical mayhem. Expect a lovingly det...

Ever slagged off a band only to later realise you were the idiot? Andrew and Dr Sam rip into their own bad takes this week as they revisit artists they once dismissed with sneering pride—only to sheepishly backpedal years later. Expect a gloriously messy mix of: Why Pharrell isn't just the Blurred Lines guy (but also maybe he is) Prolapse's majestic return and the punk power of peppercorn rent The...

Clip shows suck, don't they? But hey, what you're going to do? This is a clip show. In this so-called episode (which is mostly filler), Andrew Culture looks back at some of the people who have been guest hosts over the past year.

The Influence of the Velvet Underground with special guest Dave Lennon (Lost in the Groove Podcast) What happens when two podcast hosts—one from sunny Florida, the other from soggy Suffolk—sit down to worship at the altar of The Velvet Underground? Absolute chaos, that's what. In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew is joined by Dave Lennon from Lost in the Groove to unravel the weird, wonderful, an...

Ever found yourself at a gig, three beers deep, staring at a merch table and wondering why the hell a band is selling a manhole cover? Well, Andrew Laws and Dr Sam (aka Dr Roid Rage) have. This week, they dive headfirst into the bizarre, impractical, and sometimes downright offensive world of band merchandise. From Misfits flogging literally anything with a skull on it (including Tiki mugs, becaus...