Bat Minute

Sal wanders the remnants of a hopeful world, taking in all of the misery and depression that has taken the place of a joyous future ideal. Lovely isn't it? Machine gun fire! Is it a trap? No, merely a ruse... one perpetrated by the most devilish of masterminds... the one... the only... the people's champion... THE JOKER! Time for a little business meeting... FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, THIS EPISODE W...

A quick introductory message from our Jon...

Bruce finishes dressing himself. He's a big boy now! This moment is treated with the utmost of respect, however. After all, it's the grand entrance of The Bat himself! We also head to the Go Ham Wor Fair or whatever the hell it is. The promise of the future never came to pass, the future is in shambles... and Sal is gonna wheeze his way through. The next episode follows on Wednesday. Same Bat Pod,...

Bruce returns from Beneath the Planet of the Apes and swiftly spies a suspicious Alfred. He's holding something. Something precious. Andrea... has returned the ring. The engagement is off and she's fled the country! Jeez... Bruce is broken. He stuffs it all deep within and seemingly decides to never deal with this ever again. Move on. Keep on going. Some more time travel sees us back in the presen...

Come, stay in my loft.

Reflections

Swarmed! By bats! It turns out this wasn't them celebrating the wonderful engagement, oh no... apparently it's foreboding or something! WHO KNEW? Anyway, we’ll have no bat talk on THIS show! This part of the flashback ends and we cut to Bruce and Andrea in a car at night. They’re heading to see her dad but he’s currently got company... and not of the romantic kind! More the... sinister sort. AND W...

Bruce and Andrea are enjoying a lovely, relaxing, romantic holiday... at Bruce's place. Oh yeah. I forget that the man lives on such a giant estate. It's practically a holiday every time he moves around the grounds! Andrea is going to Europe. It's the end. Bruce tries to talk her out of going along with her dad. He has something else in mind - the I WORD! INGAGEMENT! AND SHE ACCEPTS! Love is in th...

You are the wildest, most beautiful thing I've ever seen. No one deserves you, but at least I know our children will be beautiful.

Bruce now sees that Buzz, Chuckie AND Sal are in on these fronts together. The Bat is planning to pay the gangster a little visit to get to the bottom of all of this... and then head to Andrea's for a little lovin' it seems! Cut to later on and The Bat is stalking one Mr Valestra. Well, stealing his stuff at least. Smooth. Not sure that'd hold up in court though, dude. The next episode follows on...

Sal is angry - why is The Bat doing this? Why is he killing off gangsters? He’s never done it before. It's almost like... IT'S NOT HIM AT ALL! SHOCK! GASP! Anyway, Sal is too old for this ****. After he denounces the freak job Arthur then practically turns his back on the guy. Some friend, huh? Back at the Bat Cave, Bruce is working out how to foil the grand scheme while Alfred cleans some foils o...

A one house celebration?

Our Bruce is gently weeping. Graveside, wet from both tears and rain. Sopping one could say. BUT CRY NO LONGER! Andrea is here, sent by the ghosts of your dead parents to keep you happy. You'd both better be happy FOREVER AND EVER otherwise the spirits will be most upset... Going another layer deep in our Inception-like flashbacks, we then see Batman perched like one of his favourite grotesques, w...

Something creepy this way comes...

Bruce rejects the phone call from Andrea. He's choosing his path in life, right here, right now... it's Batman all the way. We should all feel for Alfred. He’s standing there with Andrea on hold… he’s desperately trying to come up with something, come up with ANYTHING he can say to her. Not cool to put him in this position man. Not cool. We then head to a stormy night at the graveyard. Bruce has g...

Bruce has been badly beaten and the box is about to be nabbed! He held his own pretty well though, bravo, bravo. The sweater is ripped though - disgraceful. After this chaos our boy heads back to the mansion for some light doodling. This pic is all about the big scary costume he wants. Raaaaar. Andrea is on the phone. This is the moment of decision - Bruce needs to choose his destiny right here, r...

TETSUO!

We’re back as Bruce tackles the motorcycle gang… but not the one from our other show. No, don't get confused here, listeners. Holy crap - he literally just throws this guy over the bridge and into the water. Bruce is seeing red! We've got ourselves a good old fashioned slobberknocker! It's a pier six brawl! From Bruiser Brody to Akira, Chris Jericho and Sting, this minute has it all, Bat Mites! Th...

Valestra lights up a fatty. A STOLEN FATTY! That's just not on. Down with this sort of thing. Andrea and Bruce take their business outside - they know when they're not wanted. I mean, Bruce does have baggy, loose, skin it seems. While taking a stroll the pair suddenly stumble upon… CRIME! Motorbikes circling some poor schmuck. Time to bring some justice to these streets... The next episode follows...

Arthur does this little awkward cough. Feeling like a... fourth wheel, dude? Oh well, he's outta here anyway. Beat it, creep! I suppose I should be calling him a "Young Turk", however. "All the money in the world means little if you don’t have loved ones to share it with”. Ouch, Bruce feels that HARD. Gangsters barge in and do gangster shizz, such as stealing cigars named after tigers. Real gangst...

Andrea finishes her thought about the future - is Bruce talking about anybody’s in particular or just the generic store brand? Regardless, she isn't expecting to get any concrete plans out of this guy. That's kind of his whole thing. The duo head to the car and Andrea then drops the bombshell that her dad wants to meet him. GULP! THIS ISN'T PART OF THE PLAN! For... some reason. We meet Mr Beaumont...

Don your wig and head into the Knoxville World’s Fair today, Bat Mites. Well, it's close enough at least. Bruce and Andrea hitch a ride through the future of Gotham and get to see C-3PO Cylons and all kinds of tech. They SHOULD be seeing it anyway but they're too busy canoodling! That is until Brucie boy spies his one true love - A CAR! " Forward, forward, to the future, Our dreams are shining bri...

Batman turns into King Perv as he spies on his lady love... via binoculars. From behind the grotesques. How sexy. As Andrea and the slime ball have their dinner date we then go all wavy-wavy and venture back to the past once more! A Bruce booty shot introduces us to THE WORLD OF TOMORROW! The next episode follows on Friday. Same Bat Pod, different Bat Minute! Join us on Facebook at the  Bat M...

Batman foolishly gives the game away about his real identity, brooding over his parents grave WHILE IN COSTUME. Smart plan there dude. Real clever... Andrea, who seemingly lives at the graveyard, pops up yet again and has another chat with her dead ma. Later on she cleans herself up and heads for a swanky meal with greasy Arthur Reeves himself... The next episode follows on Wednesday. Same Bat Pod...

Gordon INSISTS that The Batman does not kill, so he can’t have bumped Bronski off! Can he really be so sure? Best sweep the desk of papers to drive the point home regardless! Jim doesn’t try to STOP the team from arresting Batman, he just washes his hands of it. He Pontius Pilates the situation. To the graveyard the Bat goes! Detective time... along with some heavy grieving. Lovely... The next epi...