Ballroom State of Mind

In ballroom dance, it’s easy to believe progress should feel fast, visible, and linear. But when results don’t show up quickly—or when competitions don’t reflect what you hoped —it can create frustration, self-doubt, and impatience. In this episode, we reframe what it actually means to improve. Mastery is not a quick climb. It’s integration over time: body, coordination, timing, and nervous system...

Have you ever watched a video of yourself dancing and immediately thought, “Why do I look like that?” or “Why haven’t I gotten this yet?” It sounds like you’re asking a question… but you’re not. You’re judging. In this episode, we’re breaking down one of the most common (and limiting) mental habits dancers fall into: the Judge mindset —where criticism, impatience, and frustration masquerade as “an...

How do you stay motivated when you’re not training for a competition? For many ballroom dancers, competitions provide built-in motivation: deadlines, structure, goals, and a clear sense of purpose. But what happens when you’re not competing — or when you’ve intentionally stepped away from the competition floor? In this episode of Ballroom State of Mind , we explore why competitions are so motivati...

This podcast has been going for 5 whole years! What's happening now? Listen in for an update on the state of the podcast and the Ballroom State of Mind Coaching Program. For information on how to join the Ballroom State of Mind Coaching Program, and what it's all about, go HERE. Get on my email list to get the latest info about offers and announcements!

In this episode, we're talking about a very real—and often emotional—part of every dancer’s journey: transitioning to a new teacher . Whether your teacher retired, moved away, or the relationship became strained, these changes can leave you feeling everything from relieved to heartbroken to totally confused. You might find yourself comparing your new teacher to your old one, romanticizing the...

In this episode, Amber introduces a powerful new concept that came straight out of a recent coaching session: The Three Pockets of Growth. Whether you're a brand-new dancer or a seasoned competitor, you will always have three pockets — your mastery pocket, your transition pocket, and your un-met skills pocket. Understanding these pockets helps you walk onto the competition floor with clarity,...

Sometimes we go to a competition and we feel motivated, ready, on top of the world and ready to slay! And other times we ride the struggle bus and hang on tight trying to just make the best of the circumstances. In this episode we talk about the latter and how the victory in that case looks like perseverance, grit, and managing yourself when it's really hard to do that. Mentioned in the episod...

As a ballroom dancer, community is essential for success! In this episode, we welcome Christine Bar Noel to tell us all about the Dance Wellness Community , of which, Amber is on the panel of practitioners! Dancers looking for support, self-care, real-life tools and resources, and a place to meet with dance friends to talk about ALL THE TEA, need to hear this episode! We know you'll definitely...

You are always training something—so what are you training? In this episode, we unpack why focus feels harder than ever and how modern life has quietly trained us to favor distraction. You’ll learn how to retrain your attention like a muscle, clear the mental clutter that keeps you scattered, and bring intentional focus back to your dancing and daily life. Amber shares practical ways to strengthen...

Many ballroom dancers have an issue with comparison! We see so many great dancers around us and want to be great as soon as possible! But looking around too much at what's outside us can lead to us neglecting the gifts that we possess.  Dancers are interested and inspiring because each is different and unique. To be like everyone else would be a mistake! In this episode, I offer a bit of a met...

Frustration isn’t a sign you’re failing—it’s proof you’re learning. In this episode, Amber reframes frustration as evidence you’re operating in the learning zone, not the comfort zone. You’ll learn why frustration is normal, how much of it comes from the story you’re telling yourself, and how to keep moving forward even when it feels uncomfortable. You’ll discover: Why frustration means you’re on...

Why would a coach ever tell you not to listen to her? In this episode, I’m flipping the script. I walk through four reasons you might think I’m not the right person to guide you — and then show you why those very reasons are exactly what make me the right coach for dancers like you. From not being a professional dancer, to making mistakes, to not having “fancy letters” after my name, to not tellin...

Have you ever felt raw, exposed, or even regretful after a competition, showcase, or intense lesson—no matter how well it went? That’s what Brené Brown calls a vulnerability hangover. In this episode, I unpack what it means, how it shows up for dancers, and why it’s actually a sign of courage, not weakness. You’ll hear real examples from lessons, coaching, and competitions, plus practical ways to...

In this episode of Ballroom State of Mind , we dive into a common but confidence-killing habit dancers don’t even realize they’re doing: deflecting compliments with “Yeah, but…” Whether it’s brushing off a coach’s praise, downplaying your competition results, or minimizing progress others can clearly see — this reflexive response quietly erodes your self-esteem. We explore why dancers do it, how i...

Your dancing is SO important, right? You invest a lot of time, effort, and money into this thing and it really matters, right? Or maybe not? Sometimes we have let the dance pressure get too high and it becomes counter-productive. The stress to please your teacher and produce what you have worked on can be too much. When the stress is high and it's creating problems, sometimes the mindset we need i...

If you find yourself ruminating on possible negatives outcomes, catastrophizing what might happen, and/or avoiding certain aspects in your dancing, you might be problem-avoiding. Anyone avoid watching their own videos? No? Just me? Well if you are avoiding problems or things that you fear in your ballroom dancing, I guarantee it's leading to small, hesitant, forced, tense dancing. Your lessons...

What might I say to a newer ballroom dancer that was just getting started? This was asked of me in a recent coaching session with a brand new bronze level dancer. I answered her questions and decided to pass some of the answers on to you.  Even as a seasoned dancer, I think you will find yourself in these 7 pieces of advice: Crash into it You can't skip sucking Never stop having fun Maintain a...

After pushing forward from Newcomer to Open American Rhythm in 5 years, I have been feeling the fatigue. Am I tired? Burned out? Unmotivated? Being burned out is just one of many reasons you might find yourself unmotivated.  In this episode, we provide 8 common reasons amateur and pro/am ballroom dancers, or any dancers for that matter, might find it hard to be motivated: -Comparison -Perfectionis...

All dancers can relate to wanting to be more confident. If we could just dance more confidently, with less anxiety and more freedom we could finally show up as the dancer that we want to. But as a ballroom dancer, standing on deck, ready to go on the floor, feeling all of that anxiety and pressure to please our partner, teacher, and/or ourselves, the pressure can prove to be too much. We might thi...

It can be easy to get discouraged when you have been working hard at something and you're not seeing the results that you want. All humans love a good immediate reward for a job well done. But sometimes the results are slow in coming.  In this episode we talk about being patient with the process and continuing to work it. The most exceptional people are enormously patient with applying the process...

If you are concerned or having doubts about one or more of your dance relationships, listen in to this episode. I list 5 stages that relationships tend to go through no matter what kind of relationship it is...work, family, romantic, friendships, etc. These stages exist whether you are the student or the teacher, the male or the female or otherwise. The stages are: Honeymoon Unmasking Crossroads A...

Sometimes trying to be positive just isn't working. Maybe it's an injury, maybe you've been competing a long time and never won. Maybe you've been trying to break into the next level and you're just plain discouraged. People can try to offer you all kinds of platitudes and solutions, but if none of that is working...maybe it's time to just be discouraged. We can be afraid to just allow it because...

In episode 105 , we introduced the term glitch to represent the moment where a ballroom dancer gets distracted and knocked out of the zone. In this episode, we give you two more tools to add on to the idea of a glitch. After a glitch happens, you may find yourself in "limbo" where you are past the undesirable moment but haven't moved forward yet. The limbo moment can feel like a confusing, out-of-...

This episode is a continuation of the previous and explores 5 specific limiting beliefs that I have heard dancers express in our private coaching sessions. They are: 1. If I’m not practicing on my own, I shouldn’t keep taking/paying for lessons 2. I shouldn’t keep doing this is if I’m never going to win 3. I’ll never be as successful as the students with more money/time/resources 4. I shouldn’t co...

All of us make decisions in our life that are heavily influenced by our beliefs. Beliefs are things that we believe to be true that govern the way we move about the world. They are shaped by our history, the people who raised us or influenced us and often they are unconscious and develop over time. However, beliefs are just thoughts. They are thoughts that we have rehearsed so many times that they...