Ballroom State of Mind

Why does ballroom dance have to be so freaking expensive? Just like the cost of everything has been going up, many dancers are finding their studios and teachers raising their rates. If it already felt expensive to you, if it was already a stretch, and you feel like you can’t take it anymore, you are not alone. However, in this episode I want to bring us back to earth. Whatever the circumstances a...

Sometimes as dancers we have a problem that we want to discuss with our teacher but it's hard to bring it up. We don't want to hurt their feelings or harm the relationship. Maybe we are people pleasing or maybe we just aren't sure what is a reasonable request and what isn't. In this episode, we've invited Mary Pinizzotto, a dancer teacher from Kansas City to bring the teacher's perspective to the...

"I just want to feel like I belong. I don't even have to be the best one, but I want to feel like I look like everyone else and have a right to be there." This is an interesting topic to explore--belonging. In this episode, we try to define it, determine why it can be confusing and elusive, and then define for ourselves what it means so that we can grant it to ourselves and reap the benefits of th...

Sometimes it seems that no matter how much work you do, you never really get comfortable being in the spotlight. No matter how much you practice, perfect your skills, or perfect your look, the "stage fright" is just too much. Have you ever considered if maybe you have a fear of being seen? A fear of being perceived? This is a real thing with a real name--scopophobia. It might be as mild as some se...

Changing who we are is not easy to do. Becoming a better, stronger dancer takes effort, practice and perhaps another type of work that we don't do very much: inner work.  Sometimes the outward action that we take does effect change inside us and changes us. That for sure happens. But if you want to make real, permanent, effective change, I recommend you pair your outer, mechanical, dance work with...

Comparison is the thief of joy. This is a well known saying, that while it may be trite, it's true. Comparing yourself to others is a quick way to kill your confidence and stall your motivation. In this episode, I give you a metaphor to convince you to keep your eyes on your own journey. When you really, truly, deeply understand that another person's journey is irrelevant to yours, your progress w...

One of the most important aspects of yourself that you can address to get the most out of yourself and achieve what you want to achieve is to address your self talk. One of the most insidious and destructive types of self talk is self criticism. If you are a perfectionist-type, your inner critic comes on loud and proud before you can know what is happening. In this episode we unpack self criticism...

Humans are very good at identifying what they don't want and how they don't want to feel. As a coach, I try to help my clients point their attention to what they DO want. In this episode I introduce optimism as just one attitude or approach and is instrumental to success and high performance. I don't think we can be successful unless we have some amount of optimism to help fuel us. Lis...

Boundary work is some of the best work that you can do. It will change your life! Listen in for what a boundary even is. We often get this wrong and it results in trying to control other people, which doesn't work! We also reveal the sneaky ways in which you may be the reason you aren't getting what you want in life.  Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE for more help Join my free Facebook gro...

Are you like most humans, who believe in Murphy's Law? Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong? And anything bad happens in threes? Bad things happening is contagious and will continue. Do you also believe that when things are going well that the other shoe is about to drop? That your luck will run out? That kind of thinking is very human of us, but unfortunately isn't going to help us m...

Why don't you want to mess up? What is so bad about making mistakes? Why do you work so hard for a perfect performance? "I don't want to feel embarrassed!" Embarrassment DOES feel pretty terrible. But what if we weren't afraid of it? What if we didn't let that hold us back? What if feeling embarrassed was actually a signal that you were doing something great? That you wer...

Listen in on the 4 questions you might ask yourself before a comp, and what went down for me at the Volunteer State Dance Challenge 2024.

Our brain offers up a lot of nonsense. Negative self-talk can be a common experience in the human condition. But it can also undermine our confidence. Listen in for an easy strategy to overcome the negative thinking and get back on track! I forgot to mention that much of this content was based on concepts from the book The Confident Mind by Dr. Nate Zinsser Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE for mor...

If you have ever been in the middle of a dance performance and suddenly felt your mind go blank, you might know the feeling of utter panic. You might feel lost, confused...horrified. And here you are in the moment and need to do something about it but your brain can't connect two neurons for some reason. You might find your way or finish the round clumsily and get past it. But then you might p...

There is a secret ingredient, that if you add to your dancing, will uplevel it in ways you never imagined. Plus, it's just more fun that way. That ingredient is PLAY. In this episode, share with you the 4 main reasons dancers say they want mental strength coaching and how I think play is an underutilized tool. Taking cues from the book, Play, How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and...

If you have ever wanted to better yourself or do anything worthwhile, chances are you have felt that unseen force that seems to immediately get in your way. It's almost like no matter what it is, you have to earn it by getting past the guard. Author Steven Pressfield terms this Resistance. In this episode I cherry-pick some of the concepts from a couple of his books to share in this Life Skill...

One of the most common things dancers complain about is being stuck in their head. They know they do this, and perhaps even their teacher tells them they need to get out of their head, but they don't seem to know how. As I have thought about this something came to mind that I think will help with this overthinking problem. I wonder if we haven't quite figured out that a training mindset an...

What if you have prepared, practiced and feel ready, but then your performance goes poorly and you are beset with setbacks and errors? What can we do with that to help us remain confident in what we are capable of? Thank you to Nate Zinsser, the author of The Confident Mind for these three strategies to lock down setbacks and move forward constructively. 1. Make it temporary 2. Make it limited 3....

You've done it. You've gotten yourself here. You are ready. This is my pep talk for you on the big day. It's gameday and it's time to shine. You can do this and I'm so proud of you! To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more free mindset help, join my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠

"I don't want to disappoint my teacher." "When this is all done, I don't want to feel disappointed." Disappointment. So many of my clients put themselves through a lot of stress and anxiety in preparation for events, showcases, medal exams and competitions. When we dig a little deeper to see why we are so stressed, many of them end up saying something to the effect of,...

In this episode we talk a little about The Emerald Ball 2024, dancing syllabus routines in open rounds, what judges say about that, and what to do with your backseat driver. Your backseat driver is the voice in your head that pops up at the most inopportune times and gets in the way of what you are trying to do in difficult moments. Listen in and see if you can relate. To get personalized help, bo...

Where did you get the idea about how much it would take to accomplish a certain goal? Sometimes we look around and make a guess based on what we see, but often we are also REALLY wrong. It often takes a lot more than we thought to accomplish things we set out to do. If you find yourself in this place, you could call it Effort Shock. David Wong brought up this term in his article, 'How The Kara...

There are a lot of reasons that you might feel behind in your dance journey. Most of the time, that feeling is based in fear and scarcity and is largely unproductive for us to dwell on. But there is one type of feeling behind that I think makes sense and will probably always be with you. Listen in to see what I mean. This quick episode might bend your mind a little but I think you are ready for it...

Ah, the extremes. Our brains just love the extremes. Good or bad, hot or cold, perfect or a failure. Two options is what a lazy brain likes because then we don't have to sift through other options. But if you experience a lot of all or nothing thinking, you also likely have some depression, anxiety, or a whole host of other negative experiences. In this episode, I introduce you to all or nothi...

While we all know that life is sometimes not fair and we will all face a certain amount of struggle and negativity, we will act confused when we actually go through it. We say things like, "Why is this happening to me? What is going on? What is going wrong?" The reality is that life is what I call, 50/50. It's good and bad, hard and easy, fun and not fun, etc. Everything has it's...