B4U Swipe

In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss an income-oriented “optimistic gentleman” and a queer pansexual with an intense gothy profile. Kris’s profile highlights include: The Oxford comma, Lauren’s hatred of car photos and those featuring visible earbuds, an empty hotel chair, quality ice cubes, the orgasm gap, and the best smile we’ve seen in ages. Overall, this profile showed a lot...

In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a man who is seeking a roommate on Tinder (?!?) and a woman who … we have no idea what she’s seeking. Kris’s profile highlights include: Lake Ontario, vacuuming, questionable shirtlessness, brown socks, full-sized mirrors in living spaces, and being passionate about generic beverages. Overall, we question why someone would want to find a roomm...

In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a woman with giant eyes (and not much else) and a young man who never smiles. Lauren’s profile highlights include: Large eyes, photo filters(?), another picture on the can, a pink gym, sex dolls, and that’s about it. Overall, this profile left us wondering how much of these photos were real vs. doctored. Kris’ profile highlights include: No sm...

In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a woman who has more variety in her hairstyles than her wardrobe and a man who is proud of his garden, complete with waterfall. Lauren’s profile highlights include: Open fields, a challenging hike, car/bathroom/bedroom selfies, and lots of hairstyles. Overall, this profile was another example of “less is more.”  Kris’ profile highlights includ...

Welcome to Season 4! In this episode, Kris shares her experiences (and successes) with Bumble’s BFF (Best Friends Forever) feature.  In this episode we discuss the difficulties making friends as we age and how important platonic relationships are. In the app, we noted options for describing your current life experiences that don’t exist in other apps. We were overwhelmed and annoyed by the limits...

In this Storytime that closes out Season 3, Kris and Lauren analyze each other’s profiles! Lauren chose their Tinder profile and Kris went with Hinge. Lauren’s profile highlights include: Many hairstyles, a non-beach beach, a not-Moroccan French restaurant, adrienne marie brown, and the challenge of representing yourself as a genderqueer person in a dating profile. Overall, Kris suggested Lauren d...

In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a woman who invites you to join her and her boyfriend for playtime, and a self-aware woman who could probably kick anyone’s ass. Lauren’s profile highlights  include: An absent boyfriend, tropical drinks, vacant stares, STI stigma, curious wig choices, and a strong narrative setting expectations. Overall, the half of the couple we see looks ap...

In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss an Olympic-level Cuddler and a guy who doesn’t give a shit about his profile. At least we hope he doesn’t.. Kris’ profile highlights include: Some great legs, gratuitous lakes, and fantastic cuddling-focused consent practices. We also discussed our font issues and realized we could recognize this guy by looking at his pecs, but not his face. O...

In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a guy who buddies up with Conservative politicians and a queer femme who thinks All Cops are Bastards. Kris’ profile highlights include: A discussion of the Ford politicians in Ontario, delicious tacos, cheap beer, 1980s telephones, and an awkward use of a child in a photo. We also learn about Lauren’s deep dislike of birds as pets. Overall, w...

In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss two couple profiles with very different approaches to finding their third.  Kris’ profile highlights include: Lauren’s affection for sunburst photos, too many close up selfies, questions of consent, and the role of a “bf.” Overall, this profile left out more than it included. Hard pass. Lauren’s profile highlights  include: An 80’s air-brushed...

In this episode of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a man who likes tight shirts and everything else, and a femme-presenting queer who loves to dye her hair. Kris’ profile highlights include: Toque vs beanie, waiting room vs dressing room, an unspecified porcelain object, and too many interests. Overall, no amount of chiseled jaw and salt and pepper beard could make up for his generic “I like e...

In Season 3, Episode 4 of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a DTF bi femme and a consistently surprised woman.  Lauren’s profile highlights  include: Open mouths, chest size, the male gaze (Kris and Lauren get a little academic here – bewarned!), signaling to queer folx, T-shirt logos, and the sexualization of bisexuality. Overall, the profile left us questioning whether this woman is online for...

In Season 3, Episode 3 of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a guy with an interesting definition of "active" and an attractive femme. Kris’ profile highlights include: Our annoyance around sunglasses in profile pics, different hat styles, extreme close-ups, passive lifestyles, and the benefits of expressing what/who you are looking for. Overall, the profile didn’t exactly inspire us, tho...

In Season 3, Episode 2 of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss a trans person with specific desires and a woman who managed to capture both of our hearts. Kris’ profile highlights include: A T4T (trans for trans) “perv” in an inspirational porta-potty, pickles on parade and food as conversation starters (or perceived threats), and considerations about trans disclosures/vulnerability in dating and p...

Welcome to Season 3! Following our Season 2 opener, Lauren explored another new app - this one a sex positive couple and singles focused app named Feeld. In this episode we discussed quality inclusive community norms, compared patterns in profile content, the value of consensually linked partner profiles, and revisited our uncertainties about how much to disclose about our kinks and preferences. A...

In Season 2, Episode 10, Kris and Lauren discuss two men with their stereotypical, heteronormative gender role flags flying high. Kris’ profile highlights include: an arrogant, defensive dude who wants you to “be aware of your thinking before you speak” and offer him “soulful telepathy;” Venice (maybe?), a devil goat mask, fancy cars, and not a smile in sight. We get into a conversation about cons...

In Season 2, Episode 9, Kris and Lauren discuss a woman who brags about dating royalty (whatever) and a dude who can’t show his face. Kris’ profile highlights include: Fabulous curly hair, beautiful scenery, alcohol-focused activities, trust issues, and the benefits of framing things in the positive. Lauren also expresses their opinion about royalty. Overall, we both found this woman physically at...

In Season 2, Episode 8, Kris and Lauren discuss Kris landing in Canada officially, the merits of poutine, and Glory Holes. Oh and there were profiles, too: a well-put together man who loves submissives and the funniest profile we’ve ever read.  Lauren’s profile highlights include: phone dicking around, soap bar emojis, funky wallpaper, beer university, successful subtle displays of money, and ques...

In Season 2, Episode 7, Kris and Lauren have an in-person story time on what comes up when you see someone you know on an app. Neighbors, friends you thought were married, people you have an intense connection with and aren’t sure what you want, students popping up, people you work with… oh my! Lauren’s story time highlights include: A story about responding to their neighbor crush and swiping int...

In Season 2 Episode 6, Kris and Lauren discuss a poor human who really doesn’t look like he wants to be online dating and a dude that we wish had more hesitancy. Lauren’s profile highlights include: The challenges of smiling, a dull-colored wardrobe, an equally dull picture of an alley, potential self-deprecation, and choosing comedy as a passion. Overall we feel badly for how uncomfortable this p...

In Season 2 Episode 5, episode, Kris and Lauren discuss some profiles shared by our listeners (aka our friends). Fascinatingly, these are the best and worst profiles we’ve reviewed so far. Lauren’s profile highlights include: College crushes, Kris’s knowledge of booze and glassware, naked body shot culture, and gender norms and ethical non-monogamy. Overall, our most successful profile to date. Kr...

In Season 2 Episode 4, Kris and Lauren discuss interest from people 20 years+ our juniors. It gets weird. Lauren’s profile highlights include: Teens!, pickup lines, snappy dressing, and sending affirmations. We respect the honesty in this profile, and it allows us to make an educated decision about not matching with him. We end on a commentary on power dynamics and how young men can also be surviv...

In Season 2 Episode 3, Kris and Lauren discuss a man who likes to bend over in a greenhouse and a woman who for some reason chose to take a selfie while sitting on the can. Kris’ profile highlights include: Keg-looking things, bicep appreciation, a stunning woman stealing his thunder, and considering your “above the fold” content. And hay. This profile left us pondering credit scores and what they...

In Season 2 Episode 2, Kris and Lauren discuss a woman in a time capsule and a dude that teases us with over-promised shirtlessness. Kris’ profile highlights include: Big hair, a soft focus, and a feeling of inauthenticity. Overall, the profile left us confused about what decade the single photo was taken in. Lauren’s profile highlights include: the importance of height, bare shoulders, two elepha...

Welcome back! In Season 2, Episode 1 of B4 U Swipe, Kris and Lauren discuss Lauren’s experience of trying a new app that seems SO PROMISING in the beginning and then goes downhill from there. In this episode, we discuss gender identity, survey consistency, and how much detail to share about sexual desires and pleasures in a publicly accessible dating profile. Inspired by the "what's in you...