Ayla and Potato3s: A Nightly Message From Your Best Friend

I did everything I could by praying, visualizing and showing up but the call never came. So I let go. This episode is a soft landing into grief, faith, and fumes of hope. I’m not giving up. Just breathing, believing, and breaking the cycle. I love you

Today is a raw, vulnerable reflection on grief, hope, and desire for a breakthrough. I share a spiritual prayer for comfort, a personal story about manifesting a giveaway win, and a deep longing for tangible relief.

I recorded a 2.5 hour touch meditation that was slow, instinctual, and healing. Thank you God, my bank account flipped from negative to positive, I bought a Coke for my grandparents in heaven, and I named June’s theme: You’re the One. Because it starts with me. Always has.

Today was not easy. I didn’t fight back, I froze. Dissociated. Forgot to breathe. But even in that silence, something in me refused to disappear. I’m not here to be Jesus. I’m Ayla. And somehow, I’m still the bearer of light. Even when it flickers and maybe especially so.

Today I stood my ground. I told my brother I won’t force a relationship where I’m not welcome. It hurt but it was healing. I’m learning to let go without needing to be forgiven. And honestly? Listening is a big deal. Thank you

Today marks Day 55 and my quiet reveal: I finally told the world I have a podcast. After 327 episodes and 3 years of audio healing, I’m learning to share my voice unmasked. I love you, thank you you for being here and thank you for listening.

I tried to push through exhaustion but my body said no. Today unraveled with workouts cut short, family stress, and unmet goals. I cried, paused, prayed, and remembered I’m human. Healing isn’t just doing, it’s resting too. So tonight, I’m breathing and believing again.

I rested today and soaked in the symbolism of water : liquid prayer, soft release. I drank more, nourished more, and trusted more. My bank account turned positive, my spirit steadied, and I even defended lemon water online. I’m healing, hydrating, and choosing peace.

I shared a Psalm 91 prayer and found comfort in the song Leave a Light On. Today reminded me why I keep showing up, so no one feels alone. From rest practices to mandarins from my dad, even small gestures are proof that love exists.

I read a grounding prayer from my new book, visited a serene park, and toured an apartment that felt like a sign. I’m learning to rest, hydrate, and care for myself better with a cozy blanket, soft music, sleep, and storytime included. Healing begins here.

Today was my half birthday, and I gifted myself happiness. From strawberry shortcake to a joyful, naked dance in the mirror, I leaned fully into what felt good. I let go of pressure, chose songs that made me smile, and created a sensory world just for me : perfumes, music, movement, presence. Even with nervous energy or chewed nails from test stress, I found peace in breathing, play, and grounding...

Potential Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder In this episode, I admitted what I’ve been avoiding: I’m burned out. I’ve been running myself into the ground by barely sleeping, barely eating, overworking, and denying myself joy. A friend called me out, and I needed it. I’ve been equating worth with work for so long that even celebrating my new book felt muted. I realized I’ve unlearned how to receive,...

I didn’t make it to the gym today, but I gave myself grace. I’m usually creating or producing, so I decided to really rest aka no content, no pressure. I leaned into my 30-day relaxation plan and made edits that felt right. I applied for grants, bought a tool to start building an app, and reminded myself that AI helps me do what I don’t always want to. I’m still figuring it out. Tomorrow is my hal...

Well, my little potato, I love you. I started the day with breathwork and recording Day 18 of 30 Days of Pleasure, those meditations are easier when I let myself just breathe first. My facial felt amazing and I’m glad I did it. Big news: my brother’s giving me his old car! I wasn’t expecting it, but I’m grateful. Dinner with family was funny and warm, and now I’m thinking about writing again. I ha...

Today was slow, soft, and unexpectedly sweet. I went out with my sister, got upgraded tissues (yes, that made me happy), and recorded Day 17 of 30 Days of Pleasure. The heat made the audio still and grounding. I reflected on yesterday’s fantasy story and it surprised me with its gentleness. Safety, not sex, ended up being the deepest desire. That tenderness stayed with me all day. I realized maybe...

I barely slept but still made it to the office with Dad, helped my brother get a car, and even held my niece while they handled paperwork. The biggest part of my day, though, was recording Day 16 of 30 Days of Pleasure. I expected a sexy story, but it turned emotional. I ended up crying and telling a fantasy about being safe, seen, and wanted from the start. It was sweet, surprising, healing, and...

Today reminded me that rest is productivity too. I painted for the first time in 11 days, reworked my book formatting, and recorded Day 14 of 30 Days of Pleasure. Dad even bought me ground turkey, the sweetest moment of the day. I’m realizing I’ve earned a break, even if I feel like I should be doing more. I’m allowed to slow down, eat what I enjoy, and be soft with myself. Tomorrow? Maybe I’ll fi...

Today was a restful reset. I skipped the gym to catch up on sleep, recorded Day 13 of 30 Days of Pleasure, and realized even how I lie down holds meaning: left side for sleep, right side for rest. I formatted my new book 55 Chains, updated my audio on GWA, and got an unexpected $50.30, which made me so happy. I cried over a beautiful Instagram story about family reconciliation. Even with all the u...

Today was chaotic but better. I made turkey meatballs and lentils, finally ate something I wanted, and that simple act brought me joy. Family tension flared (again), but I stood my ground. I uploaded Day 11 of 30 Days of Pleasure, navigated noise, sighs, and yawns, and remembered laughter as pleasure. My book Permission to Fly is now on Audible, and I’m growing in every area, from iMovie to intuit...

Today was Mother’s Day, and it stirred up a lot: grief, longing, and fatigue. My relationships with both my mother and my son are distant, and I’m working on making peace with that. I recorded Day 10 of my audio series, started answering 55 deep questions to break the chains holding me back, and reminded myself that worth isn’t earned, it just is. I’m exhausted from surviving, from cobbling togeth...

Today reminded me how much I crave connection, even as I find strength in solitude. I returned a watch band I bought in hope, took a nap with the lights on, recorded Day 9 of my audio series, and ended up singing a Bible school song at 3 a.m. because it felt right. I’m in the teardown phase, rebuilding from the foundation up. It’s lonely, but I’m learning to shine anyway. To sing anyway. This litt...

Today I reflected on how creating feels more like play than work for me. I went to the gym, took a walk with my friend, caught up on a long-overdue video call, and recorded content that I hope helps someone feel safer in their body. I didn’t win a giveaway I was hoping for, and that stung but I still believe better things are coming. Creating, connecting and softening is how I keep showing up. Eve...

Today was a mix of softness and strain. My body’s sore from the gym, but I still showed up for yoga, my dad, and myself. I found a penny and took it as a sign, then received unexpected extra money and a McDonald’s meal on Dad’s card. I imagined my future safe space and recorded Day 7 of 30 Days of Pleasure. But I also felt the weight of living where I don’t feel free. Still, I’m growing. And I’m c...

Today felt like proof that softness is real power. I worked out hard, slowed down when I needed to, and still felt proud of how far I’ve come. I handled life with grace, from the gym and errands to manifesting a new home and completing my MBA application. I replaced a broken sign with “Today was so easy” and felt it unfold in real time. My meditations soothed me, my skincare arrived, and I’m calli...

I went to the gym on no sleep, napped hard, and still recorded Day 5 of 30 Days of Pleasure, which was so relaxing I fell asleep. I wrapped Shadow and Bone, got a handmade gift from a friend, and laughed at ChatGPT roasting me. I forgot shampoo (again), and I logged my first $0.10 from TikTok with genuine gratitude. My voice used to make me cringe and now it puts me to sleep in the best way. I’m t...