Austin Anderson Show

California is sliding into the ocean, Alec Baldwin is still out here body-counting everything except himself, Democrats are throwing Roman bathhouse fundraisers in inflatable hot tubs during a shutdown, and America’s new recession indicator is whether women are buying lipstick or Hamburger Helper. Meanwhile, Trump is fighting AI, his own reflection, and possibly sacrificing his son for eternal lif...

It’s Monday, October 13th, fall is in the air, and I’m out here ranting from a half-demolished farmhouse. I just got back from the annual hunting trip I had to leave early because I had to come home and be an adult. Meanwhile, teenagers are out here slamming playground equipment because they’ve never paid a bill in their life. Today I get into Diane Keaton news, Jack Nicholson hating his own neck...

On today’s episode of  The Austin Anderson Show , I kick things off with stories from my annual Nebraska cabin trip where guns, Tannerite, and shattered windows are just part of the tradition. From there, we dive headfirst into the absurd: Trump allegedly planning a UFC fight on the White House lawn for his 80th birthday (Gladiator-style), the decline of Hollywood with Jared Leto dragging Tro...

In this episode, Austin dives into a late-night obsession with a doctor who analyzes the faces of celebrities like Ozzy Osbourne, Hulk Hogan, Jim Carrey, Jeff Bezos, and Elon Musk, uncovering what your eyes and expressions might reveal about your health and your life. From there, the conversation turns to the bizarre and dangerous drug trend known as “Bluetoothing” in South Africa, before shifting...

Austin Anderson is back with another off-the-rails episode of The Austin Anderson Show. Today he revisits his glory days working at Blockbuster where a wig and some teenage Coolio-inspired dreadlocks cost him his job. From there, Austin spirals into the nostalgia of King of Queens, the absurdity of fat-guy sitcom tropes, and Taylor Swift being accused of everything from white supremacy to turning...

It’s a Tuesday morning and Austin’s covering it all: bribing his kid with $3 that won’t even buy Tic Tacs anymore, breaking down the internet’s meltdown over Taylor Swift’s latest album being accused of everything from white supremacy to eugenics, Whoopi Goldberg suggesting people “tan until you look Mexican,” a forklift driver who won the lottery and nearly partied himself into the grave, and the...

It’s a rainy fall morning and Austin is on one. From Nebraska’s best donuts at Junkstock to P. Diddy learning that “manifesting” can’t get you out of prison time, this episode ricochets through culture, chaos, and comedy. Taylor Swift’s revenge anthems, Trump suing everyone in sight, Glenn Beck crawling on stage for Ted Cruz, AI girlfriends, and Bezos wanting to put data centers in outer space—it’...

It’s October 3rd and Harvard hires only the best, P. Diddy is facing court drama that feels straight out of a Netflix crime doc, and Taylor Swift’s brand-new album  The Life of a Show Girl  already has fans divided, well, it has me divided. We’re talking chem trails, courtroom freak flags, Cosby comparisons, Family Matters in space, and why Jack Antonoff should produce all Taylor’s music...

It’s October in the Midwest, and I’m losing my damn mind—in the best way possible. I’m talking pumpkin spice roll-arounds, garden spiders the size of frisbees, and why frolicking in a Nebraska hayfield beats walking through a New York subway any day. Somewhere between reminiscing about construction workers calling me names, ranting about machete-wielding teens in New York, roasting Keith Urban for...

It’s October 1st, the Midwest is cooking in an Indian summer, and I’m fired up. Today’s episode jumps from school bus purgatory on gravel roads, to Howie Mandel investing in holograms that look like they crawled straight out of the Book of Revelation. We’re talking  beam boxes , the image of the beast, Star Wars trash cans, and why Star Trek is just communism on a spaceship. Then we slide int...

This episode is pure chaos in the best way. I start my morning nearly dying to take pictures of a sunrise I’ll never look at again, then dive headfirst into the conspiratorial swamp of the internet. Is baseball actually an occult ritual to Baal? Why do so many of Trump’s family members have the last name “Christ”? And what the hell is going on in Portland with flamethrower cars, rooftop snipers, a...

This one’s a ride. I break down my Omaha Half Marathon run—2 hours, 28 minutes, no walking, baby! And the bizarre things I saw along the way. Then I say why cheesecake is just a delivery system for crust, why kids’ toys look like they crawled out of a portal to hell, and why Panera Bread is basically hospital food with better branding. We’ll also talk embarrassing public moments (like being rescu...

Today’s episode is a wild ride through the collapse of Western civilization—one bread bowl at a time. I start off raging about Panera Bread serving me a soup bowl that was 75% bread and 25% betrayal. From there we spiral into face piercings, robot overlords, James Cameron’s Avatar obsession, and a jewelry heist straight out of Grand Theft Auto. Then I take it back to real life: a Florida football...

Today’s episode is a rollercoaster of nonsense, history, and end-times panic. We start by roasting the tank top (the most suspicious piece of clothing since Crocs in church), detour into Dane Cook, Comedy Central, and the jealousy of a comic in the early 2000s, and then crash headfirst into one of the wildest stories ripped from the forgotten pages of history: the legend of Bulletproof George Wash...

In this episode, I zigzag through conspiracy-laden doomscrolling, Jimmy Kimmel, AI deepfake panic, mooing at cows, and the wild slaughter of tens of millions of buffalo. Then I take a hard left turn into the art of public pooping—crime-scene bathrooms, Google job site porta potties, and why Kanye West needs a dump-in-a-john moment to find salvation. Sprinkle in Charlie Sheen chaos, Nicolas Cage cu...

What do fake prophets, a drunk baby raccoon, and Sylvester Stallone refusing to age all have in common? They’re all in today’s episode. I kick things off with a South African pastor who swore the rapture would happen today (spoiler: it didn’t), then dive into some truly bizarre news: Stallone wanting to play teenage Rambo, a raccoon revived after passing out drunk on fermented peaches, two guys tu...

It’s a foggy Monday morning and Austin is all over the place, running late miles in the dark, building chicken coops, and blowing his son’s mind by being able to touch his toes. From dad moments to stand-up comedy shoutouts (Dave Attell holding a lantern in the fog), the episode swerves into politics, bizarre headlines about “international Satanists,” California’s free speech battles, and the trag...

On this episode of  The Austin Anderson Show , I talk about dragging myself out of bed after a late night at a Jason Aldean concert, where the crowd, the music, was a great time. I share the about a rainy pumpkin patch visit, why denim was the real villain that day, and how carrying an umbrella might secretly be one of life’s greatest joys. Then I get into a crazy coincidence involving the Fo...

In this episode, I talk why fiddles make country concerts better, late-night McDonald’s drive-thru nostalgia. How fast food has lost its magic, question the Hamburglar’s cannibalism, and can't get over the bizarre Tai Chi infomercials. Plus, I share memories of 24-hour Walmart adventures, chasing runner’s highs, the magic of Vala’s Pumpkin Patch in Omaha, and a wild late-night Waffle House story w...

What do four bagels, Barbie legs, Carrie Underwood’s football-field lips, and robot chicken fights in Oklahoma all have in common? Absolutely nothing—except they all show up in today’s chaos. In this episode, Austin tackles: The tragic limit of human bagel consumption Why dudes skip leg day and turn into flamingos A marathon runner in overalls with ironclad nipples Carrie Underwood’s screen-sized...

In this episode, Austin spirals from the betrayal of refrigerators that make you open the door just to get water, to Robert Redford’s immortal hair, to a dude in Florida choking kids while dressed as a giant puppy. We hit every weird news headline you didn’t know you needed, like a million-dollar yacht sinking in seconds, a man fighting off hyenas with his bare hands, and an ice cream cone legend...

It’s Monday morning on the homestead, the coffee is strong enough to kill a horse, the crickets won’t shut up, and the chickens are circling me, demanding food. Then it’s off to a Cody Johnson concert, and a crash course in how the apostles actually died. 👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and keep this snowball rolling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I’m sick as a dog but still ranting my way through a head cold, swigging DayQuil like an old-time drunk with a flask. From dreaming about Viking-style river burials on the Elkhorn, to the insanity of Charlie Kirk’s assassination and people celebrating it, to the bizarre spam calls offering me $60k loans five times a day. We go from heavy stuff (Christian martyrdom, civil war chatter, a nation unra...

Charlie Kirk Is A Christian Martyr. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, a road trip to South Dakota for a 1950s oven that doesn’t spy on me, rants about Walmart’s tire department holding my wife hostage, and questions why Arby’s is still allowed to exist. Along the way: coyote sightings mistaken for wolves, Slayer-blasting gas station weirdos, accepting the challenge of 75 Hard, losing a beloved chicken named Vivian, and why country music is basically...