Austin Anderson Show

Adults stealing baseballs from kids. Ding dong ditch gone deadly. A pastor claiming Jesus is coming back on September 23rd. Oh—and Elon Musk playing in a satan costume. I rant on selfish adults at games, childhood pranks turned tragedies, fake end-times prophets, and the bizarre rise of “Dark MAGA.” Plus: my 25th anniversary, why old ovens are better than new ones, and Alex Jones gargling “the Hol...

Happy Monday, baby! In this episode, I rant my way through a head cold, celebrate fall punching summer in the face, and share my pastor’s horrifying white-T-shirt running story that ends in rivers of blood. To comedy scandals, Charlie Sheen confessions, The Rock shrinking down to a bean, and my love-hate relationship with workouts, it’s a ride. Add in some trash-talk on Taylor Sheridan’s shows, th...

What starts as a $1.50 candy run turns into chaos: overpriced Tic Tacs, a Lemonhead salvation, and a squirrel funeral with the whole rodent family watching. From there it spirals into wild neighbor accusations (“you stole my squirrels!”), rabid dogs at gas stations, Jeffrey Dahmer Cinnamon Toast Crunch ads, women obsessed with serial killer docs, Lady Gaga’s creepy Tim Burton collab, and a rabbit...

In this episode, Austin dives into his wild past, concrete and soil testing at a Google plant in Council Bluffs, writing fake biker-gang articles that got passed around the office, and scribbles on the walls of porta potties from construction workers that they were building Skynet. From bathroom hemorrhoid warnings to Darwin Award legends of rocket-powered Camaros and RV autopilot disasters, this...

I start with a woman furious at Justin Timberlake for phoning in a concert she didn’t even attend, then fall down the rabbit hole of why every celebrity seems to catch Lyme disease. From there I confess my dream of becoming the Banksy of chainsaw art, talk about the heartbreak of a century-old Nebraska pine tree wrecked by an ice storm, and relive the moment I rammed my own trash can with my car l...

It’s the day after Labor Day and I’m unraveling a weekend that included jean blankets, pancakes, my kid’s first Big Mac in Chicago, hoping Chicago wouldn’t change my son like it changed Pete in the Buttercream Gang , looking to hire a gaggle of clowns, grunting my way through middle age, Zyn is doing a nicotine challenge, and the nightmarish reality of wrangling chickens with a “gettin’ stick” and...

Electric scooters have killed bikes. Donuts cost ten bucks. Kids are hoarding plastic rabbit feet like psychopaths, and somehow I ended up saving a construction worker’s butt (literally) from a tree spear. In this episode I rant about 80s nostalgia, Footloose, Indiana Jones refrigerator nonsense, pizza crust revenge, punk rock anthems, Lil Nas X lap-dancing the devil, Billy Ray Cyrus in space, Fin...

In this episode, Austin Anderson goes from David Hasselhoff fighting ninjas on Baywatch to PBS showing ape-human boobs, to the bizarre origins of chiropractic medicine. Along the way he rants about fashion shows, roasts Puff Daddy’s baby-oil crimes, praises the beauty of fall in Nebraska, and demands the Huskers bring back the original Herbie logo. Also: airline peanuts assassinating people, phone...

On today’s drive-time rant, Austin Anderson swerves from a fearless bicyclist on a Nebraska highway to the miracle of a duck that believes it’s a chicken, dives into the cult of corporate America, and confesses to hoarding junk like a pioneer dragging a piano down the Oregon Trail. Along the way: bologna lunches, olive economics, Marie Kondo shade, and a reminder that sometimes throwing salt on yo...

This one starts with me going to war with Sonic because they handed me a cherry limeade without cherries, without limes, and without shame. From there it spirals—my old boss who swore he once wrestled a bear, a birthday round of putt putt on a course so old, so worn out, and a late-night TV memory of a woman letting her husband burn skin tags off with homemade dry ice. Somewhere in the middle, Ste...

In this episode, I spiral from Billie Eilish creep vibes into Lady Gaga’s satanic mermaid phase, Marilyn Manson kids who now inspect your buildings, and Johnny Depp becoming a pirate in real life. Then it’s Mountain Dew, steroid-jacked 80s action stars, chemtrails, and why today’s kids need to throw down their phones and pick up sticks. I also share lunch with my Mexican buddies talking cartels, g...

I cut a prehistoric snapping turtle loose on a Nebraska river. From there I spiral into: animals that would never shut up if they could talk, hitting 42 years old, a gas station prophet who thinks women “got too big for their britches,” parades where they set candy down instead of throwing it, and skinny dudes blasting rap on electric bikes. Somewhere in there I also solve politics while eating Ru...

From childhood dreams of becoming a sax-playing clogger, to dodging Juggalos and their hatchets, to revisiting the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie (so sweaty).  Pontificating about David Goggins’ fit alien skull, question if Axl Rose stole his voice fluctuation from Janis Joplin, admit I wanted autism after watching The Accountant 2 , and fully declare my hatred for Star Wars . Al...

In this episode, I roast Shapiro’s cadence, share my wife’s brutal (and accurate) Will Ferrell comparison, and spiral into the insanity of reality TV—The Biggest Loser nearly killing contestants, Donald Trump’s Apprentice transformation, and treasure hunters blowing up boulders for nothing. Somewhere between laughing at the absurdity of human desperation and ranting about phone etiquette, I manage...

Strap in—this episode goes from zero to apocalyptic in record time. I rant about why I refuse to turn my car off at the gas pump, and confess the tragic reality of my delicate little candy nipples that won’t let me run in winter. From there, we spiral into Facebook algorithm hacks, Elon Musk being an alien robot overlord, why I’d have killed E.T. with butter knives in the 80s, and the horrifying r...