Katherine Lazar

At a Total Loss

Society EN ↓ 138 episodes

We’ve all had moments that leave us at a total loss — for words, for direction, for what comes next. For me, that moment came when my baby died at 37 weeks. I know firsthand what it feels like to have the world stop and to wonder if you’ll ever find a way forward again. Sometimes it’s the death of someone you love. Sometimes it’s heartbreak, illness, trauma, or failure. But being “at a total loss” isn’t where the story ends. This podcast is about what happens after the unthinkable. Each week, host Katherine Lazar sits down with people who have faced life’s hardest blows and asks the real quest...

Author

Katherine Lazar

Category

Society

Latest episode

Jul 2, 2026

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Episodes

Jennifer: Accelerated Resolution Therapy 30.03.2023

Jennifer Is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 15 years of experience who specializes in treating PTSD/trauma, addiction and couples counseling. She is certified in Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) which is an evidenced based therapy to treat past trauma.  ART provides immediate relief of past trauma by reducing negative images, sensations and symptoms allowing you to start hea...

Rebekah + Faith + Asher 23.03.2023

Raised Jewish, Bekah is the mother of 3 children in Heaven & 3 earth-side. After discovering her first baby, Faith, had a life-limiting diagnosis at 20 weeks, she turned to God for the first time in her life and discovered a spiritual depth & connection that eventually led her to her Christian faith. Rebekah goes on to suffer a miscarriage as well as the death and stillbirth of her son Asher. She...

Marlie: Obstetric Negligence Attorney 16.03.2023

Marlie Willer is an experienced trial lawyer that focuses her practice on medical malpractice, with a particular emphasis in obstetric negligence. Throughout her career, she has advocated for children and families in over 16 states across the country. Marlie prides herself in being a strong advocate for families and children that have suffered birth trauma who are often left in the dark and sent h...

Laura + Lainey Part 2 09.03.2023

This is PART 2 of Episode 33 with Laura & Lainey Mae. In this second part, Laura tells us about the death of her baby at just 2 months old. She also dives into candidly what she thinks could have happened to Lainey and how asking questions surrounding the death of her baby has been challenging and down right scary.  Something seems off and as she starts to investigate what happened, she doesn't li...

Laura + Lainey Part 1 02.03.2023

In Part 1 of a 2 part Episode, Laura talks with me about precious Lainey Mae, who died at just 2 months old. Laura is a single, Christian mother who is very open about her story & how challenging this has been to do alone even with such an incredible family as her support system. She has been such a light and a source of laughter, hope, & goodness for me and I wanted her to share her entire story....

Adelying + Sage 23.02.2023

Adeyling talks with me about her beautiful son Sage, who died from a life limiting illness, Thanatophoric Dysplasia, that they discovered at just 20 weeks. She has since had another boy, Skye, and has been growing her candle company Sage & Sara. We talk about loss, pregnancy after loss, building a business from the inspiration we find after loss, and all things in between. Adeyling's company gives...

Dr Harvey Kliman 16.02.2023

I talk with Dr Harvey Kliman about his research and medical opinion when it comes to the placenta, pregnancy loss/stillbirth, & reoccurring pregnancies. He is a research Scientist in the Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Sciences at the Yale University of Medicine and the Director of the Reproductive and Placental Research Unit with the following Research Interests: Pregnancy...

Katherine + Liz talk PAL 09.02.2023

Liz is BACK (on her "comeback tour" she says LOL) to discuss pregnancy after loss! Last time she was with us for Episode #1, we discussed life after the death of her son Harrison.  Since then she has had her "rainbow baby", Abigail, and is here to discuss how hard PAL was for her.   At the time of this recording, I am 15 weeks pregnant so diving into this world of trying to have a living baby afte...

Ashton + Sage 02.02.2023

Ashton and I connect to talk about her beautiful daughter Sage who died at full term due to a cord accident.  Ashton is no stranger to heartbreak & struggles & she opens up about her first miscarriage that set the foundation for how she would go on to cope with the death of Sage.  This conversation has so many nuggets of wisdom, insight, advice & hopeful examples of forward movement. What you're h...

Sydney + Adam 26.01.2023

My girl Sydney and I discuss her life after the death of her first son Adam on Valentine's Day 2021. Her story is open and very honest, personally what I dig most about her.  She talks about how much blame she has on her Doctors and, sadly, on herself & how she coped with that. We go into pregnancy after loss and what that was like giving birth to her rainbow baby.  She is super honest about gende...

Katherine + Brody's Dad 20.01.2023

I sit down with my husband, Brody's father, Michael to discuss Brody's 1st Birthday and what this year has been like. He is very open and candid with his experiences with grief, coping, and dealing with me. We go IN on the dynamics between Loss Parents and how we are so different.     Michael is open to discussing any and all things about loss with other Loss Dads.  You can find him on IG @lazar.m...

Katie + Makenna 13.01.2023

Katie and I talk about her beautiful daughter Makenna, who was born early and lived for 4 days in the NICU.  Katie discusses very openly her experiences with her birth and the days to follow.  She is feisty as hell, and I love how open she is about her grief and the ways she honors Makenna.   We talk a lot in this podcast.  Everything from the love for our babies, to poor treatment from doctors, t...

Ally + Noelle 05.01.2023

Ally learned of her daughter Noelle's life limiting diagnosis, Ebstein's Anomaly, during a follow up anatomy scan.  Ally discusses what it was like to live with hope & fear while navigating a pregnancy with so much unknown. Although she only lived 62 minutes on Earth, Noelle's memory lives on in her parent's lives and heart. Ally now uses her spare time to promote Noelle's legacy and advocate and...

Sarah + Nathanial 29.12.2022

Sarah talks with me about her first born son, Nathaniel, who she and her wife Amy conceived through IVF.  His precious life ended traumatically with severe early-onset preeclampsia, placental abruption, emergency C-section, a brief NICU stay and death within his mothers’ arms. Sarah took to grieving while trying to find out what happened, and planning for future pregnancy like a full-time job. In...

Katherine + Brody's Mimi 22.12.2022

In this special Christmas episode, I talk with my mom, Brody's Mimi, to hear her perspective on Brody, his death, his life, grief, life after loss and being the mother of a Loss Mom.  I will warn you, there are a lot of tears.  But my mom shares her experiences, her perspective, her spirituality, her faith, her broken heart and all the things that come with being a Loss Gramma.  She had tragedy st...

Melissa + Lachlan 15.12.2022

Melissa and I talk about her beautiful son Lachlan who died and was stillborn in 2016.  Since then Melissa has become a Pregnancy and Infant Loss Coach, helping others navigate their new world after the late term death of their baby.  Melissa works 1:1 and in groups and will be hosting her first in person retreat next year. She is open, honest, and real about her experiences.  Her honesty and pass...

Crystal + Sienna 08.12.2022

Crystal’s daughter, Sienna Grace, was born just two days before my son, Brody. We connected through shared passion around advocacy for better medical and bereavement care. In this episode, we chat about Sienna’s shocking death during delivery after a healthy pregnancy, and how Crystal and her husband navigate life after loss. Crystal shares the long, painful journey of infertility that finally bro...

Faryl + Daphne 01.12.2022

Faryl and I discuss her beautiful baby, Daphne, and how she has taken on the role of stillbirth, baby loss, and infant death photographer for families in hospitals.  **WARNING: Talk about how a stillborn physically looks and what happens to them.** We discuss how this affects her grief, her healing, and her recovery from the trauma of losing Daphne. I know her personally here in Atlanta and she ha...

Katherine: Holiday Special 24.11.2022

Hey it's me, Katherine, and it's just me LOL.  I'm flying solo on this special edition.  Since the episode drops on Thanksgiving, I wanted to dedicate this one to talking about the holiday and how we can navigate it.  I've spend A LOT of time over the past 10 months researching grief, reading, educating myself, talking to professionals, loss moms, non-loss moms, grievers, etc and wanted to share t...

Mim + Lenny + Bhai 17.11.2022

In this episode, I chat with Mim in the UK.  Her two son's died within the last year, Lenny at 40 weeks and Bhai at 18 weeks. She, along with her husband, Roy, are cycling the length of New Zealand and making an adventure film to simultaneously raise awareness for baby loss and raising funds to support their new charity "Lenny’s Legacy."   Mim has a wicked sense of humor and her love for her boys...

Heather + Laura Caroline 10.11.2022

Heather and I were introduced literally the day Brody died.  Her daughter, Laura Caroline, was stillborn in September of 2007.  My sister had remembered that a friend of hers had a best friend with a similar experience.  Kristina contacted Heather and from there, Heather guided her on what needed to happen once we got to the hospital.  Her information was vital in our experience delivering and say...

Jennica + Hugo 03.11.2022

My dear friend Jennica and I met up in Atlanta to discuss her beautiful son Hugo and life after loss. We met through Dr Harvey Kliman who connected us after giving us the rundown on our boys' small placentas.  Her perspective and insight is so interesting to me and we get through only a fraction of what we want to talk about in just an hour.     Here's what we discuss:   *Fake loss moms *Social Me...

Heather + Miles 27.10.2022

Heather joins Katherine to chat about her beautiful boy, Miles, who died and was stillborn in April of 2019.  We discuss literally EVERYTHING in this episode.  Heather is so much fun to talk with and her knowledge about wellness and grief is vital to our journeys after loss.  We discuss the lack of care during labor and delivery, trauma on top of trauma on top of trauma, triggers, different types...

Bliss + Harrison 20.10.2022

Bliss sits down with Katherine in Atlanta to chat about her beautiful son Harrison, stillborn on February 12, 2013.  Her insight almost a decade from his death is vital to those who are just starting this life after loss.  We discuss dreams throughout pregnancy, the emotions that still come up 10 years later, seeing the beauty in the sadness, trying to be strong all the time, forgiving ourselves,...

Ana + Owen 13.10.2022

Ana Vick's son Owen was stillborn on October 3, 2015.  Since then, she has set her sites on advocacy, prevention, education, and awareness.     Ana is known as Still My Son on social media where she finds support and inspiration to continue pushing for change in memory of all babies gone too soon. Although she would much rather have her son in her arms, she proudly parents Owen through her activis...

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