At a Total Loss

I'm on the mic to discuss what's been goin on in this sh*t show. I'm all over the place with my iced coffee and ketamine stories and punching the air and the fine line between crazy and not giving af and all the lessons I've learned in the last couple weeks. I hope this makes you feel less alone in this crazy Loss Life.   Go to KatherineLazar.com for all my helpful resources Follow me on IG at @th...

Elle is mama to her triplets in the stars, Noah, Eden & Hudson who were born severely prematurely in June 2021. Since then she has had their little brother, Sonny born in 2023. Elle is a successful therapist for loss mamas, pregnancy after loss and parenting after loss mamas. She is the epitome of doing the work in order to help others function and navigate Loss Life.   Find her on Instagram and D...

In this episode I speak to my girl Kate, her precious son, Cameron James Miranda was born May 4, 2022. He spent 9 days at home before being diagnosed with Enterovirus Myocarditis. He fought for 4 months in the CVICU. Cameron may not physically be here but over the past almost 3 years, her family continues to navigate their grief, honor Cameron, and choose to live a life full of love that they hope...

Emmy is the mother of Layla, who was stillborn at 39 weeks in November 2022. She finds comfort and copes with her pain through taking care of her home and helping others find healing as well. Although it feels like it in the beginning, she believes baby loss is not the end. The best thing we can do for our sweet babies and the greatest way we can honor them is to learn to heal, grow, love and laug...

I'm back and with a mini "rebrand"... At a Total Loss is now Living the Loss Life because well, that's what I'm doing every single day and I'm here to share it with you. When I first hit record, I was drowning. I had just lost Brody only 4 months prior. I was raw, wrecked, and trying to survive the total devastation of stillbirth. That title— At a Total Loss —fit where I was. But grief doesn’t sta...

Anna and Kent are Atlanta Loss Parents whose son Seth was born and passed away on September 28, 2021. The film is screening this Saturday here in Atlanta and then soon nationwide at select theaters. Official Website: https://www.invisiblemansion.com/rideinparadise Trailer: https://vimeo.com/903818305 Evite to sign up even if you can't come and still get updates: https://evite.me/9FbezwVzAz Podcast...

Rio Richards, Grief & Trauma Recovery Therapist, is BACK to discuss all things grief. She opens up about what she struggles with after losing her father 4 years ago. We specifically talk about the 8 Ways That Perfectionism Makes Grieving Harder founded on an Instagram post that she made. Here's what we unpack: Constantly wondering if you're feeling the "right" thing at the "right" time Hiding your...

This is the 87th day of January and we are still doin the damn thing. I get on the mic to talk about the latest and greatest in loss life... Here's what I talk about: This being the longest month ever and my one resolution has failed The absolute anger that comes with baby loss Being a *good* person despite loss A story about a pregnant chick next to me at the salon “A mother to 2 livings and an a...

Mason of the 10ninety Podcast was the guest speaker at our 2025 raised By angels Charity Gala this past weekend. On July 25, 2021, Mason’s life changed forever when he lost his wife Kortni, son Riggins, and daughter Franki in a devastating car accident. He also lost his older brother, Race, and his nephew, Rider. Now focused on raising his surviving son, Blue, Mason draws strength from the 10/90 P...

Hey everyone! I'm on the mic just yappin away, it's fun for me. I talk about this new year and how literally nothing is going to change (resolutions are dumb after your baby dies).  I also have some crazy random story that happened to me that I'm still shocked about. I'm your biggest hype girl so there will def be a TedTalk/motivational speaker moment in there so you're welcome babes :)...I think...

This is one of THE most powerfully inspiring episodes I've done to date. PLEASE, if you are a loss parent and even if you are not, listen to this episode....Dr. Joanne Cacciatore is a bereaved mother to her daughter Cheyenne born still 30 years ago. She is also the founder of the MISS Foundation, an international NGO that serves families whose children have died. She is also a tenured research pro...

Tallia Deljou is a fellow loss mom and life coach specializing in healing emotional wounds. Her loss journey includes 2 recurrent miscarriages followed by the loss of her son Araam, who was born prematurely at 22 weeks and 3 days and joined us earth side for 15 hours. She takes a gentle and compassionate approach to healing after loss, teaching us how to welcome every emotion and feel it all. I wo...

Liz from Episode 1 is back to check in about where she is 2 years after our first recording ( I cannot believe it!) At the time, I was 6 months out from losing Brody and Liz was 9 months out from losing her Harrison. We talk about anger, and owning our grief, how it's managed now, and how we've gotten stronger and able to handle our grief. Being advocates for shaping our own loss life, we talk abo...

Helena's beloved daughter, Maila, was born still at 36 weeks and 5 days on December 29th, 2022 despite being in "perfect health" during her pregnancy.  She is the inspiration behind creating personalized baby loss keepsake books because babies like Maila deserve to be remembered. Maila’s Presents are thoughtful baby loss gifts, offering bereaved parents a tangible way to honor their precious child...

*Recoded prior to Halloween*...Holidays after baby loss are so weird. I'll also share insight from other mamas on how they've dealt in the past and the advice they have moving forward. Ways to honor our babies will also be shared as this is a huge struggle, especially in the beginning.   Here's what I tackle: Declining invites to holiday events Handling Triggering people Halloween and all the deat...

Rio is a psychotherapist and grief integration coach, specializing in helping individuals and couples navigate the profound and complex journey of loss and trauma. With a somatic and psychodynamic lens, Rio helps clients heal and rebuild using both the power of the mind and body for long-term resilience and change. Her mission is to help those who feel stuck and powerless in the aftermath of trage...

Jillian is the founder of Courage in Time Inc., a nonprofit supporting families who have experienced stillbirth and infant loss through curated bereavement boxes, grief and postpartum resources, and connection to other bereaved families. She established this courageous space after her son Lorenzo died in the NICU at 12 days old. She is inspirational and relatable and all things that show how much...

I chat with Lyndsay about her precious second son, Kove, who was born still at 37 weeks just a little over a year ago. That is when her grief and baby loss journey began. Since then she has started Kove's Keeper, a bereavement care package for parents suffering stillbirth & infant loss in the local hospitals. Devastation has since happened again as Lyndsay suffered a miscarriage since Kove's death...

Kimberly Isburg, Communications Manager for Count the Kicks and Healthy Birth Day , joins me to discuss the importance of tracking fetal movement and the mission that she is on with her team to make preventable stillbirth a thing of the past. I of course chime in with my own personal experiences regarding Brody and tracking movement in my subsequent pregnancies. There is a lot of info in this podc...

I break down 3 popular topics after baby loss. What triggers us & how we react to it The grief spirals that come out of nowhere & how they are not setbacks Having zero tolerance for others complaining Y'all talk to me about these things ALL the time on instagram and I'm diving in to explain my thoughts as well as the feedback I've gotten from 100s of mommas about them. I may or may not go on a sma...

Catherine is the mother to her TWO angel babies, Brooklyn (11/29/16) and Miles (12/7/17 - 12/14/17) and her now miracle baby, Lux. Catherine's experiences have covered a range of "rare" circumstances. We discuss ALL of it. She has faced an incompetent cervix, placental abruption, disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC), the NICU, a journey with a gestational carrier and miscarriages. After th...

I tackle THE most requested topic from my followers "how do handle anxiety during pregnancy after loss". So I polled and here I read off all the things y'all sent to me regarding this topic. You will hear be reading so if watching it helps, go to my At a Total Loss Youtube page :)...Here is what I talk about: Trying to conceive & how to know you're ready Ultrasounds Hope vs anxiety What you can co...

Amanda, Junie's Mama, comes on to talk about getting your Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) Birth Plan together. Juniper was born still at 38 weeks due to an undiagnosed small placenta (if you want to hear the whole story, find the episode 'Amanda + Juniper'). Since then, Amanda has been a huge advocate for preventative care as well as a resource for so many mama's who have experienced a tragic loss. We...

Molly talks about her precious Roman who was stillborn at full term just over a year ago. Molly provides insight on her faith, her support group, and gives advice to anyone who is afraid to experience joy after baby loss. We also talk about signs and how she whole heartedly believes she receives them letting her know Roman is ok. The stories will give you chills.   Find Molly on IG at @champagnege...

I asked what y'all wanted to hear about. So many of you wanted to discuss the added losses after our babies die. I took your submissions and I discuss the following in this episode: The inability to relax and always have to run at max capacity. The loss of innocence Losing our faith. Becoming an extreme introvert now. Unable to look at old photos Accepting this reality No longer having a tolerance...