Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAURUS!!!! It’s an exciting time of year at Astrology Zoned because it’s Laura’s birthday! As is abundantly clear by now, Laura is an absolute Taurus queen who understands the importance of embracing the Taurus tenets of rest and relaxation. And Susan Miller has only good predictions for Laura and her favored Taureans this May. The gals begin the episode with a recap of Susan’s not...

IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, ARIES!!!! And there’s a lot going your way this April. Uranus is bouncing around to make sure that the month is filled with positive surprises for your birthday. Laura and Alex begin the episode by discussing the many times they were embezzled by Susan Miller last month. (Note: This does not mean that Susan stole money from the gals, but that her forecasts were accurate.)...

IT’S PISCES SEASON!!!! The gals want to wish Pisces the happiest of birthdays. And they suspect this group might include Susan Miller! Susan famously (and repeatedly) says that she never reveals her age or her sign, but Laura and Alex think they’ve gotten to the bottom of her secrets. The episode starts with a discussion of Susan’s note to her readers. After last month’s dramatic health updates, t...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AQUARIUS!!!!! Susan Miller didn’t publish the forecasts until more than one third of this short month had passed, but that does not detract from the excitement that the planets are out there doing things to make February incredible for all. Laura and Alex begin the episode with a recap of Susan’s note to her readers. In this month’s note, Susan explains why the forecasts were poste...

IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, CAPRICORN!  Happy New Year! And welcome to season 6 of the podcast! This month’s forecast is so good that Susan Miller wants absolutely everyone to know. It’s safe to say that Susan is obsessed with January.  After a short discussion about the passage of time, Laura and Alex begin the episode with a recap of Susan’s January note to her readers. Susan opens with a...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAGITARRIUS!!! Susan Miller is back after a successful kidney surgery to say that things are looking up for the end of the year! The horoscopes are short, but they’re positive, and after a year of meh forecasts, that’s what matters.  The gals begin the episode by acknowledging that December 2025 is the 30th anniversary of Astrology Zone! That’s right, 30 years ago Susan Miller...

HAPPY SCORPIO SEASON!!!! The gals are happy to report that November isn’t nearly as terrifying as Susan Miller predicted it would be in her October horoscopes. Phew!  Speaking of Susan’s delivery of the forecasts, an unexpected event occurred this month: the horoscopes were posted early! Laura and Alex begin the episode by discussing this unprecedented occurrence. This leads into a review of...

IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, LIBRA!!! Well, sort of. Susan Miller is so focused on the terror that awaits all of us this November that she doesn’t devote nearly enough of her forecast this month to October and Libra season. So Laura and Alex want to wish the Libras an especially happy birthday since Susan doesn’t seem equipped to do so at this moment.  The episode begins with an update from Laura...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VIRGO!!!! Susan Miller declares that you are the star of the zodiac this month, so get ready to shine!  After a somewhat professional countdown to air, Laura and Alex start the episode with a special embezzlement update, also known as the time when they discuss whether Susan made any accurate predictions the month before. And it turns out that the whole world was embezzled bec...

HAPPY LEO SEASON!!! Susan Miller has a lot to say this August, although most of it is about her newest Business Woman initiative.  After a brief chat about AI and sparkly shoes, the gals jump right into a discussion of Susan’s note to her readers, where the exciting collaboration that was teased in July is revealed! Laura and Alex made a number of guesses last month about what this new ventur...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CANCER!!! Laura and Alex are back from a short summer break to tell Cancer about the incredible birthday month that awaits them. And it’s good news for everyone this July, although all of the signs should try to get things together in the first half of July because Mercury retrograde will cause the usual trouble later in the month.  The gals dive immediately into Susan’s note...

IT’S TAURUS SEASON!!!!  Which means that it’s birthday time for Laura, the pod’s very own magnificent Taurus! As usual, Taurus is the celestial favorite (or maybe just Susan’s favorite). In fact, all of the signs have wonderful things awaiting them if they can just make it to the flawless new moon on May 26.  Laura begins the episode by telling Alex that she gave herself a birthday prese...

IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, ARIES!!!! And Susan Miller says you can expect good news throughout your birthday month! However, you may want to put on your beekeeper suit just to be safe because everyone should be ready to enter the prickly briar patch and weather cosmic storms. Laura and Alex begin with a recap of Susan’s Note, and it is all business: astrology business and Susan Miller business. Ther...

IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, PISCES!!!! This month is absolutely full of planets planeting. There are retrogrades, eclipses, trines, sextiles, and anything else one might want (or not want) from the universe.  The episode begins with a recap of Laura and Alex’s Valentine’s Day. The gals listened closely last month when Susan Miller warned that the day could be trouble, but they planned a festive night...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AQUARIUS!!!!  We made it to February, a month with two new moons (sort of) and a challenging full moon. For better or worse, all the signs are in it together this month, and Susan Miller is here to advise on how to wrestle the full moon dragons to the ground.  The gals kick off the episode with the Embezzlement Update. Were any of Susan’s predictions in January accurate?...

HAPPY CAPRICORN SEASON!!!!  And Happy New Year! Laura and Alex are back for the fifth year of the podcast after dutifully following Susan Miller’s instructions in January 2021 to create a show. Little did Susan know that it would be all about her!  The episode begins with the Embezzlement Update: Laura tells the listeners about her exciting embezzlement (translation: Susan correctly pred...

IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, SAGITTARIUS!!!!  Despite multiple planets retrograding this December, Sagittarius should have a wonderful birthday month. They can even expect some international travel! Or at the very least, some international FedEx shipments.  This month, the gals have embezzlement updates to share, as well as a hot take from a commenter on social media. And there’s a lot of in...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCORPIO!!!! Enjoy November, Scorps! In a special twist, there are two full moons this month and Susan Miller believes that Scorpio will enjoy both of them.  Laura kicks off this episode with a tale of finding treasure in the wild. In this case, the treasure is the 2025 Astrology Zone calendar and the wild is a boutique in Cold Spring, NY! The gals then have a discussion about...

HAPPY LIBRA SEASON!!!  According to Susan Miller, October is going to be a great month for Libra. So get out there, rack up some achievements, and be a money magnet before a bunch of planets retrograde. For better or worse, the planets are planeting big time right now.  The episode starts with a discussion of Wordle strategies and Laura’s recent travels. But there’s no time to waste on c...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VIRGO!!!!! It’s eclipse season again, but don’t worry, Virgo, because there are positive birthday vibes and good surprises coming your way!  The gals begin the episode by reminiscing about when they met Susan Miller on the streets of New York three years ago. What a time! Neither Laura nor Alex have any embezzlement to report (translation: Susan didn’t make any predictions for...

HAPPY LEO SEASON!!!! You have a lot going your way this month, Leo! Susan Miller is adamant that you make a birthday wish. Fortunately you have plenty of time to contemplate your desires because this directive was published with the horoscopes on August 1!    The episode begins with a chilling story of cybercrime, as Laura recounts how she was almost scammed into buying counterfeit...

ATTENTION, CANCER!!!!  You’ve got a great birthday month ahead of you, so make the most of it before mischievous scamp Mercury retrogrades and ruins the fun.  The gals start this episode with a catch-up that includes Laura’s mastering of international relations and fun facts related to tennis. But the star of Susan Miller’s content this July is her note to her readers, so there is a lot...

IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, GEMINI!!!! In your honor, Susan posted her horoscopes on the first day of the month. She couldn’t wait to inform you that it’s the start of your Emerald Year! Get ready for a bountiful harvest (and many more gardening metaphors).  The episode starts with a discussion of 2024’s Luckiest Day of the Year. Laura and Alex love a good Embezzlement Update, but it pales in compari...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAURUS!!!!! It’s Taurus season, which is a very special time at the pod because that means it’s Laura’s birthday!!! The universe is obsessed with you, Taurus, so be on the lookout for money, extra luck, and the adoration of VIPs.  Laura and Alex begin the episode with the Embezzlement Update so they can check in to see if either of them experienced the joyous aspect that Susan...

IT’S ARIES SEASON!!! Happy birthday, Aries! It’s your time to shine and apparently to attract lots of money. So keep your eyes peeled and your wallets open this April because Susan Miller has declared you a money magnet! There’s a lot going on in the world, so Laura and Alex begin the episode by catching up on the recent earthquake in New York and the excitement surrounding the Great American Ecli...