Apocalypse Video

Please…sit. And welcome to the Church of Apocalypse Video. I’m your host and pastor, Dave, and joining me are fellow mistaken Messiah’s Mike and Ryan. Today, we will be reading from the Book of Python. Chapter 19, Verse 79: Life of Brian. Topics of discussion in this sermon include how hype-trains can often kill a classic ( especially comedies ); we trace a ton of modern comedy tropes back to the...

We hope you all had a safe and relaxing holiday…because it’s time to put on your church clothes and listen to the sermon of Apocalypse Video, as we bend our knee to the angry letters of the religious community and start a whole new monthly promotion: Jesusary. A month filled with nothing but Jesus-related content, ranging from his brutal crucifixion, to that one time that Willem Dafoe played him a...

Why, hello there. And welcome back to the exciting conclusion to the Apocalypse Video Jack Frost Christmas Special Trilogy . I’m your host, Dave Davey, and oooh boy, have I got a third act for you! It seems old Michael had accidently left a window open when the boys recorded the last Jack Frost episode–err, that is, the one with the killer mutant snowman. And ooooh, wouldn’t ya know it…he came dow...

Nothing says Christmas like Road House! I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we gather around the bandstand and throw beer bottles at the chicken wire are fellow cinephiles and Double Deuce regulars Mike, Ryan, and special guest: Cody. Topics of discussion in this episode include how Road House is basically John Wick for bouncers; we lament the transformation of the Double Deuce from a divey roa...

Why, hello there and welcome back. What…? Did you really think that was the end of the Christmas special? Heck, no! We’re only up to Act II. And I hope you went to the bathroom between episodes, because this next part of the story may make you pee your pants a little…and believe me, I know a thing or two about peeing your pants. I’m your narrator, Davey, and I’m gonna tell you about the time that...

Well, hi there! The name’s Davey - Dave Davey - and I’m gonna tell you the tale of the Apocalypse Video Christmas Special…that almost wasn’t. It seems that the store manager at Sector 2’s favorite video store got word that people were getting just plain fed up over all the themed episodes this year. And wouldn’t ya know it, he went and decided to cancel the year end Christmas Special! Thankfully,...

Evil has finally found a home. The year is 1993. The Friday the 13th series has been dormant for four long years. Paramount is out . New Line Cinema is in . What does this maverick film studio responsible for bringing us the likes of Freddy Krueger have planned for one of the most popular cinema icons of the 1980s? Well, I’ll tell ya…...demon worms and Hell , babyyyy! Bring on the Fan-Fictioney no...

Well, it’s December, and the holidays are officially upon us. Am I excited, you ask? Well…no. To be honest, this time of year always gets me nervous. All the pressure to deliver on a fun holiday themed episode after the combined promotions of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest and Shocktober?! It’s enough to drive a video store manager/podcast host insane! If only there was a sports film with an inspirat...

Apocalypse Video Bond-Cast Mission Dossier: The Target: 1977’s The Spy Who Loved Me Your Contacts: Apocalypse Video (M)anager - Dave Agents - Mike and Jackie Big Headed Henchman - Ryan Mission Objectives: Analyze whether Roger Moore is fit for duty as he appears to be 49 going on 69. Determine whether or not Jaws, in addition to biting the necks of his victims, is also eating them. Attempt to asce...

Theorizing that one could review enough movies to resurrect the art form, video store manager David Snider stepped into the Hilton Star Trek simulator…and vanished . He awoke to find himself trapped in the past reviewing movies and shows that he'd never seen, and driven by an unknown force to bring Cinema back to the wasteland. His only guide on this journey is Janna, an observer from his own time...

Family is forever. On tonight’s episode we return to Rob Zombie’s Haddonfield where we get a front row seat inside the mind of Michael Myers; a mind filled with white horses, flashbacks, and more David Lynchian imagery than an episode of Twin Peaks. It’s Halloween II… again. I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we prepare to drink the Halloween II kool-aid are fellow cinephiles and Rabbit in Red...

Evil has a Destiny. If there’s one thing scarier than Michael Myers, it’s the Harvey Weinstein produced era of the Halloween franchise. Strap in for some white trash horror as we travel back to the year 2007 and see what Mr. Rob Zombie has in store for us with his much maligned remake of Halloween . I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we sift through mounds of candy corn to get to some real can...

On the final episode of the Gothtober Spooktacular, we’re packing up our bags and moving to Santa Carla, murder capital of the world, where we’ll ride dirt bikes, hang off the bottom of bridges, and drink each other’s blood while downing a takeout box of maggots and worms…It’s The Lost Boys . I’m your poser goth host, Dave, and joining me as we wax our muscles and shine our saxophone's are fellow...

They don’t call it the Curse for nothing. On tonight’s episode of the Apocalypse Video Gothtober Spooktacular, we travel to the Great White North, all the way to Bailey Downs, where two goth sisters have to contend with periods, horny bleacher boys, stupid cheerleader girls…and lycanthropy – it’s Ginger Snaps! I’m your poser goth host, Dave, and joining me as we pose for some death pics are fellow...

Believe in angels. The Apocalypse Video Gothtober Spooktacular continues as we trade the powers of Manon for the gun toting, face paint wearing badassdom of The Crow. I’m your poser goth host, Dave, and joining me are my fellow Devil’s Night partygoers Mike, Nick “Immortan Hoof”, and special guests: Madolyn and Cody. On this episode we talk The Crow , which is basically like…the Goth Starter Kit;...

Welcome To The Witching Hour. - In the neo post-apocalyptic wasteland…the last video store on Earth still spreads the lost art of cinema… But during the month of October…its employees, and some special guests, shine a spotlight… on Goth. Welcome to the Apocalypse Video Gothtober Spooktacular, I’m your poser Goth host, David Snider, and I'm joined by my fellow witches with normal sized heads, Kara...

Captain’s Log, Stardate 4842.46 After a long and sexy summer of covering nothing but dance films, the crew is excited to get back to the world of Star Trek with season three’s, The Paradise Syndrome . I have instructed Lt. Mike and First Officer Jackie to watch their step while reviewing this episode, lest they find themselves waking up in a dark room with odd looking machinery, asking themselves,...

The mindless, murderous fury that was buried with Jason has been reborn. And suddenly, terror has become child's play! Well, here we are again, folks. Another Friday the 13th, another obligatory Friday the 13th episode. After so many installments, how can the filmmakers possibly top all that has come before? Are we going to get more gruesome kills? Are they going to have an even more disgusting lo...

The dark side of nature. Apocalypse Video is back and we’ve got a brand new theme song, baby! That is…we have two brand new theme songs. It seems we have a little controversy on our hands. Mike claims that Ryan has stolen his new theme song, while Ryan - in a surprising and out of nowhere southern accent - claims he merely took an “unrealized” theme song and improved upon it. Thankfully, the answe...

Apocalypse Video Bond-Cast Mission Dossier: The Target: 1974’s The Man with the Golden Gun Your Contacts: Apocalypse Video (M)anager - Dave Agents - Mike and Jackie Mission Objectives: Investigate Nick Nack’s possible background with the Disney Imagineering department. Leave a glowing Yelp review for Bottoms Up. Find a way to ditch Sheriff J.W. Pepper before he emits any further racial slurs. Addi...

There are those who believe that podcasts here began out there, far across the universe, with tribes of neckbeard film fans who may have been the forefathers of the movie review podcast. Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man who even now podcast to survive, somewhere beyond Apocalypse Video… I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we try our best to hide some contraband booze from secu...

Get some action! Ahhh, another summer film promotion in the books, and I gotta say...as owner of Apocalypse Video and Executive Producer of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest, I think we really knocked it out of the park this year ( my so called friends waterboarding and ridiculing me for my love of Flashdance notwithstanding ). However, it seems there are some out there in the Wasteland who weren’t over...

All rise! The Court of Horny Affairs is now in session. The Honorable Judge Janna presiding. The defendant, one David Snider, has been accused of excessive horniness while discussing the film Flashdance on the podcast known as “Apocalypse Video”. The defendant has been made aware of his rights and will face Flashdance-style water dropping if found guilty. The prosecutors in this case are Kara and...

When he said I do, he never said what he did. Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. 4: Not THAT’S What I Call Dance Movies! is back for one last spin, and boy, have we got a banger for you… I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we put our significant others through intense interrogation tactics are fellow dancers and Omega Sector recruits Mike, Jackie, Cody, and Nick “Immortan Hoof”. Topics of discuss...

May the best moves win. Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. 4: Not THAT’S What I Call Dance Movies! is back, and now that we’ve got all of that ballet out of our system, it’s time to hit the football field and cheer on the losing team as we bust out our pom-pom’s with 2000’s Bring It On! I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we collectively cringe at the early 2000’s f-bomb’s are fellow cheerleaders...