All Therapists are Jerks, and . . .

Episode 68. Val 5.2: Rejection. Ulland starts by inadvertently blaming Jo for difficulty starting to record due to generalized shenanigans.   What a dum dum. The partnership continues a dialogue about rejection and limits and how they pertain to relationships and codependency. This episode addresses more relational aspects of rejection.

Episode 67. Val 5.1: Rejection. The partnership discusses the Paradox of Choice and how limits around choices may lead to more happiness. Rejection of infinite options may lead to creative choices, and increased commitment to a couple activities, leading to mastery. DBT, viewed as rigid by some outsiders, allows for the freedom and creativity of its practice. This episode addresses more philosophi...

Episode 66. Val 4: Failure. Ulland and Jo welcome failure. Such a good way to learn. Fail hard, fail fast, fail often. Ulland's son plays the cello so no one can hear it, but Jo. Multiple examples of failure are given, including science and how each of Jo and Ulland risked and failed to arrive where they are today.

Episode 65. Val 3.3: "Kill your 'self'," says the Buddhist. Ulland and Jo review avoidance of uncertainty, which can happen from a threat to our identity. Buddhist's offer the solution of minimizing our identity being such a focus—the attachment of who we think we are or how others expect us to be. Ulland and Jo give several personal and impersonal examples of situations that may challenge identit...

Episode 64. Val 3.2: Meaning in Uncertainty. Ulland and Jo discuss meaning and how subjective it is compared to an objective universe. Ulland likens the evolution of the mind being a house with multiple additions. They discuss how meaning can be either positive or negative. Jo discusses how meaning has to adapt and change sometimes, and life can teach us that some values were not effective enough...

Episode 63. Val 3.1: Uncertainty. Ulland and Jo gossip about their familiar friend Uncertainty. No one knows when the episode will start for sure. Neither do they it seems. Ulland tries while Jo is ruthless for at least "tuna . . . half minutes." Jo retorts, "Turn-about is fair play." The beginning suggests a possible failure—they might be ahead of themselves here with this one, since Failure will...

Episode 62. Val 2: Accountability. Ulland and Jo define accountability. Examples are given. Ulland discusses the complexity of accountability in treatment with an example of how systems struggle to be accountable at times when clients become stuck in treatment.

Episode 61. Val 1: Shi**y and Good Values. Ulland and Jo start the conversation about values in a theoretical sense. They review values that are helpful and then shift to talking about some substitutes for good values.

Episode 60. Happiness = Problems to Solve. Ulland and Jo discuss how problems are necessary for growth and positive emotions. They discuss dialects and the Biosocial Theory as relevant to how our country is suffering in recent moments—how abuse of power has directly affected minorities. They ask for those less directly effected to quietly listen and make space for the expression of grief. They als...

Episode 59. First World Problems. Ulland and Jo review the mediocre life. They review technology and the overwhelming amount of choices we have and how that has not led to happiness. The effervescent optimist Ulland makes the statement, "The vast majority if your life is boring." He concludes his case with the wisdom that exceptional people poop, too. "I'm a primitive animal!" Finally accept the m...

Episode 58. Theory(s) of Stuckedness. Ulland and Jo re review Jo's Theory(s) of Stuckedness. This had been discussed in the previous episode of Turning the Mind. More examples are given and some different examples to high lite how awareness is often central to being stuck, as well as other factors for why change is so difficult.

Episode 57. Pefrectionism as it Relates to Body Image, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder and anger. Ulland and Jo discuss some ways that perfectionistic thinking can reinforce concern for the appearance of one's body. OCD is also discussed as it can be common for individuals who also have body image issues, and shares some similar thought patterns. OCPD is di...

Episode 56. Prefectionism: Depression, SAD and GAD. Ulland and Jo discuss perfectionism and how it relates to depression and the most common anxiety disorders people experience. They review how social anxiety can be influenced by perfection in parents and adults who are critical of adolescent experiences. Ulland shares at least one socially traumatic experience from middle school—there are so many...

Episode 55. Thoughts and Behaviors of Perfecionism. Ulland and Jo review thoughts and behaviors strongly associated with perfectionism. Look for these in yourself and in other people. Try and reduce them if you can. Will you accept the challenge?

Episode 54. Origins of Perfectionism. Ulland and Jo decide to take on perfectionism. With mistakes. This episode reviews what it is, what it looks like, and where it may come from. Some skills are suggested. Ulland complains about Facebook. Again.

Bloopers for Assumptions. Ulland hits record and Jo doesn't know as usual, since no one tells no one what to do. A short conversation unfolds about how assumptions of intent are made and then often argued ineffectively in conversations with others. Suggestions for what to do are made, and not just becoming an old, really old Zen Master.  

Episode 53. Dialectical Response to Trauma. Ulland and Jo discuss common responses to trauma. The dialects are drawn similarly to how the Secondary Targets are drawn, and Ulland will have to talk with IT about getting a picture up on the website. Please review the Secondary Targets in Episode 19 to see how similar these dialects are, with regards to how emotions are processed. For instance, appare...

Episode 52. The Three Buckets of Shame. Ulland and Jo review Jo's insightful idea about three major ways that shame can manifest itself. Perfectionism, fear of being seen and taking up too much space in the world. Several examples are given. Jo even does opposite action to shame after saying "Um" like, seriously, way too many times. Jo steps into her light, and her shame. Not for the faint of hear...

Episode 51. The Forgotten Pandemic. Ulland and Jo review statistics regarding mental health burden, and cost. Some of the statistics reviewed suggest that mental health has been and continues to be quite prevalent, and cost effective to treat. Much suffering could be prevented if we chose to be concerned with mental health after the COVID pandemic. Currently, as a society we would rather invest in...

Episode 50. The KingVirus. Ulland and Jo discuss some statistics about COVID, suggesting different perspectives of the reality we find ourselves in. As always, listeners are referred to skills they may find helpful. Keep isolating even if boring, anxiety provoking or . . . lame. And stay healthy.

Episode 49. Assumptions. Ulland and Jo review the assumptions within DBT—the secret sauce. These are the components that can be some of the most difficult to be sure a system, or group have whereas more attainable for an individual therapist with a humanist bend. They review the treatment, skills, and client assumptions of DBT.

Episode 48. BCAs. Ulland and Jo review Behavioral Chain Analysis. They also review missing link analysis. Examples are provided as are the reasons for why BCAs are necessary to overcome behaviors that are difficult to change.

Episode 47. Fidelity. Ulland and Jo discuss fidelity with DBT. Is it DBT? The five major components are reviewed, including skills group, individual therapist, diary cards, crisis coaching and consultation group. Hopefully consumers have a better idea of what to look for. 

Episode 46. Diary Cards. At the request of a listener, Ulland and Jo review the importance of diary cards in DBT for many reasons, including metrics, follow through with skills, setting the agenda, etc.

BKRVW03: Irresistible by Adam Alter. This book reviews addictive behaviors, from defining how they are possible without substances. How they are started and influenced with a primary focus on games and social media as modern examples. He also reviews how these types of media have been designed to be addictive. He provides many great examples and provides some helpful tips for preventing and changi...