Afterbite

TVD 3x17 | Damon’s got the power of god and anime on his side! It doesn’t turn out well for him. We love Meredith now! We all saw this one coming but it still hurts! Bee’s wrong about the dog, we’re sorry about that false report. New episodes every week! Follow us on twitter: @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x16 | Do you think Samantha Gilbert utilized girlpower when she went on a killing spree in 1912? Damon is tolerable for once and I don’t know how it happened either. We had bicon Sage and we lost bicon Sage. New episodes every week! Follow us on twitter: @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x15 | Bee and Jourdann talk about a lot of things that are vaguely Vampire Diaries adjacent. Some talking points: Julie Plec owes Jourdann an apology, wet noodles, tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum. New episodes every week! Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x14 | Elena and Elijah reprise their roles as the best buddy cops in Mystic Falls! We talk about witches a lot! Why were there horses there? We still don’t know. New episodes every week! Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x13 | Hey did you know this is a vampire show? We’re trying not to make Elijah late for his 3 pm. The answer to all your questions is PAIN. New episodes every week! Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x12 | This week, we're barn adjacent! For some reason vampires and wooden buckshot AREN'T the weirdest thing Bee’s seen in a barn. We unfortunately start a Bonnie kidnap counter. Bennett flex tape is really the only thing holding The Vampire Diaries together . New episodes every week! Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x11 | The Mystic Falls gang grows up big time! Joseph Morgan acts with his face (and his other body parts too, I guess). We say goodbye, but also hello! New episodes every week! Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x10 | The whole Mystic Falls gang needs therapy really bad, but are they going to get it? No! Stefan’s a rowdy boy now, and it goes very poorly! Meredith is here now so shoutout to strong women who maybe commit murder. We take a visit to Elena Gilbert’s Mind Erasing Emporium. I don’t remember it. New episodes every week! Follow us on twitter: @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x9 | There’s plans on top of plans on top of plans. Mikael is here and then not here, like a thief in the night. It would’ve worked if it weren’t for those meddling Stefan’s! New episodes every week! Follow us on Twitter: @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x8 | We’re playing bingo this week! The Salvatore brothers don’t tip, pass it on. Elijah has a piano recital and we’re all very proud of him. #LoreWhores! New episodes Thursdays and Fridays! Follow us on twitter @AferbitePod

TVD 3x7 | It's a ghost world baby! There’s a haunted JCPenneys. Jeremy’s himbo card gets revoked. Sheila Bennett is back! Ghost! World! New episodes on Tuesdays and Fridays! Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x6 | We make our own alignment charts! Copyright’s gonna get us. Brian just stays things! Bee loves a good puzzle. We don’t really talk about the episode? Or do we? You’ll never know unless you listen! New episodes every Thursday and Friday! Follow us on twitter: @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x5 | Klaus blesses us with his American accent again. Matt drowns in the Vicki Donovan Memorial Pool. Jeremy's a ghostie boy! This one’s for the girls. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday! Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x4 | We talk an unfortunate amount about Chili. Bee’s a mime now! Damon and Elena are hip-bumpin besties! Bill Forbes is Megamind? The energy is big. The brain is small. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday! Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x3 | Trigger warning for conversion therapy. We had cocaine for breakfast! This episode was brought to you by prohibition, tax evasion, and an IRS agent with a GUN. Damon’s committing jean crimes. Nobody ever apologized for this and it's sorta really screwed up. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday! Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x2 | We’re bringing in funky fresh new Tuesday energy! Elena is a train conductor. We talk a surprising amount of Shakespeare! Matt Donovan is a sugar baby? Yeehaw! New episode every Friday! Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod

TVD 3x1 | It’s season 3 and we’re back! We're green now! Stefan is very spooky but still sweet? Klaus has a yeehaw accent! Bee fully cries. Brian’s trying his best. Jourdann is gonna say fuck! New episodes every Friday! Follow us on twitter: @AfterbitePod

We did the math, we crunched the numbers, we said Some Shit. This is the definitive ranking of season two of the vampire diaries. Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod. Donate to your local bail fund here: https://bailfunds.github.io/

TVD 2x21 & 2x22 | Black Lives Matter. Today. Tomorrow. Every day after that. Donate. Protest. Stand up. Black-led LGBTQ organizations: https://www.snap4freedom.org/ https://blackaids.org/ https://www.lgbtqfund.org/ https://www.transjusticefundingproject.org/ https://www.bravespacealliance.org/ Find your local bail fund here: https://bailfunds.github.io/ This episode contains some mentions of s...

TVD 2x19 & 2x20 | Why and where and no? Joseph Morgan is finally here! Elijah and Elena play Let’s Make A Deal. Damon is problematic. The gang really needs to invest in a calendar. Carol Lockwood gets yeeted. Brian is gonna steal your baguette! New episodes every Friday! Follow us on twitter @AfterbitePod

TVD 2x17 & 2x18 | Jenna starts the episode in pain and it does not get better from there. We say a big fuck you to John Gilbert. Call your mom! Brian’s admitting to crimes. Bee gets robbed by her boobs. Elena gets a house! New episodes every Friday! Follow us on twitter: @AfterbitePod

TVD 2x15 & 2x16 | We unleash plagues upon this land! There are murderous intentions. Elena makes a power play! Elijah gets toasty. This one has a bleep. We’re sorry. We’re actually not sorry.  New episode every Friday! Follow us on twitter: @AfterbitePod

TVD 2x13 & 2x14 | We as a podcast can vote! Stefan goes off his shits with his respect women juice! Generic Terminator is here and he’s obnoxious.  Fuck John Gilbert! Tyler doesn’t usually do drugs. Damon thinks he’s an anime protagonist. Caroline Forbes said Bi Rights! The werewolves are really into BDSM. New episodes every Friday! Follow us on Twitter: @AfterbitePod

TVD 2x11 & 2x12 | We visit the Mystic Falls hardware store! This is a Horny Free Zone! The Martins drink some good good plot juice. Elijah plays Let’s Make A Deal! Damon might’ve kidnapped the Property Brothers. Bee’s yelling a lot this week and we’re sorry. Jules causes problems on purpose! Werewolves are just dogs y’all. New episodes every Friday! Follow us on twitter: @AfterbitePod

TVD 2x9 & 2x10 | Elijah causes chaos with coinage. Bee’s very sorry for the ‘plosive p’s in this episode. Katherine relives her past traumas. Caroline helps plan a werewolf party! Elijah’s a special boy. Murders occur! New episodes every Friday! Follow us on twitter: @AfterbitePod