Advice Fight

What to do when you discover your partner’s secret Instagram account.  TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear Ben, Andrew, and Adam, You know how Instagram recommends new people to follow? Well it just recommended my boyfriend's secret Insta account. That's how I found out he's been cheating on me. He told me he was working a part-time job at night. We're on a lease together. He doesn't know that I know and I can...

TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear esteemed Grawlix bois, My almost 2-year-old nephew is obsessed with his Fox-News-loving grandpa (my dad). As the radical leftist auntie, this really grinds my gears. I go to great lengths to win him over every time I see him, but no matter what I do, he constantly demands that I take him to "papa." What can I do to win over my nephew for good and prevent him from turning int...

TODAY'S QUESTION Dear Grawlix,I'm hoping you can give me some advice.  My wife and I are in our early to mid 40s, and over the last 1 to 2 years,  my wife's libido has gone through the roof.  Recently, she wants to get spanked, engage in dirty talk and wants me to objectify her.  While it isn't really my thing, I am not opposed to trying these things for her.  However, I am a bit out of my element...

TODAY'S QUESTION Hey guys, Big fan but never thought I'd need advice. I just found out that my cousin is divorcing her husband. He's my best friend. I introduced them. I was the best man at their wedding, we hang out all the time, his family and our family is tight, I love them both a bunch. Now they're splitting up and my cousin won't say why. What the hell do I do?  Darius (no my real name, my c...

In honor of Adam's birthday, we're addressing this ridiculous question. TODAY'S QUESTION Dear Handsome Doctors: I listen to a podcast every week that I really love. It has 3 really funny and insightful people, but lately I seem to like one of them more. His level of strategic thinking and commitment to psychotic takes is making him dangerously close to becoming my favourite.  I don't want to lose...

TODAY'S QUESTION: G-Men, After years of artful avoidance, I ran into my next-door neighbor in the alley, and he introduced himself. This neighbor — I’ll call him “Handyman Ron” here — now waves at me every single time I see him, and it’s become something of a daily obligation to wave back. What can I do to convince him that I am a sociopath so that he never waves - or makes eye contact with me - e...

Who to choose when your friends get divorced.  TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear Talktors, here is my dilemma. My wife and I are very close friends with a couple who just recently got divorced. We love both parties, but they do not care to be near one another. We love to go out dancing, and these two were always down to join us. However, since they are no longer together, neither of them want to go dancing,...

We slip and slide into the infamous subreddit "Am I The Asshole?" to issue some guerrilla advice. LINKS ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, May 30th with Zach Peterson, Laura Peek, and Leah Althoff!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us for show dates and more: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adam Cayton-Holland⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

How to induce a midlife crisis. TODAY'S QUESTION: Hi Grawlix, I am turning 40 this summer. I live a rather comfortable life. Steady job, loving wife, and two great kids. That said, something has to give, right? I am the kind of guy who likes to get out ahead of things and want to take on my mid-life crisis on MY OWN TERMS. So, my questions is, "How do I induce my own mid-life crisis?" To be clear,...

TODAY'S QUESTION: Boyz, I smoke too much weed, totally in secret. My family doesn't know, my job doesn't know, even my friends don't really know. People say it's not addictive but I am def addicted. I'm not unhappy (maybe cuz weed). It's my anti-depressant and my social helper and the only thing that shuts off the bad stuff in my brain. But the secret is hard to maintain and I feel really guilty a...

How to get revenge when you get laid off. TODAY'S QUESTION: Letter time! I need the help of the learn-ed boiz Fairbell, Shoemaker, & Payton. Long story short: I’m a middle school librarian at a small public school here in Colorado. I work my ass off and do everything I can to support all the students and staff. For the 4th time in my 16 years as an educator, my position got cut because of district...

Tips for maintaining that creative spark. TODAY'S QUESTION: Gentlemen, Let me get right to it. I love your work. Each one of you has made top shelf independently produced work. Comedy, music, games, podcasts. I can't imagine it has always been easy but hopefully, you've always found it rewarding. I've had the good fortune of publishing a handful of short stories in online journals and anthologies....

Why are you making the comedy choices you are making? TODAY'S QUESTION: Dearest doctors, my favorite podcasters are three guys who love each other and love to make fun of each other. Lately they've been making lots of jokes about about marrying each other or having sex with each other... I don't think they're homophobic or being mean, but it's def homoerotic and I'm gay and they're straight and so...

Newly single? Let’s go!  TODAY'S QUESTION: Hi friends, I am currently going through a break-up after being together for 2 years (living together for 1). We are on great terms and there is still so much love between the two of us. My life has been flipped upside down but I'm doing well given the circumstances. Do you have any advice on navigating through this? Thx

A listener yearns for the keys to fair Andrew's heart TODAY'S QUESTION We know how to fuck Ben. We know how to kill Adam. So how does one go about marrying Andrew? LINKS ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Vote for the winning advice! (Poll opens at 10am)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, March 28th with Kristen Toomey and Bailey Tyler! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us for s...

A listener needs the boys advice for spending a surprise $27K. TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear comedic counselors,  My uncle didn't have any kids of his own. When he died last month, he left me $26,800 in his will. Total surprise. I thought he was broke. What should I do with the money? You said you wanted shorter letters, Dinah P.S. I'm in my thirties, I rent my apartment, and I have no debt. I drink but...

A listener (Ben?) begs Andrew and Adam to retract their claws.  TODAY'S QUESTION:Dear Ben and the other two, Every week, I have a great time catching up with this group of 3 guys who've been friends for a really long time. However, lately, I've become worried about their friendship dynamic. Because they've been friends for so long, they've become quite accustomed to giving each other a hard time a...

TODAY'S QUESTION: Hey Grawlix, why not help a 12 year old boy come up with a way to get into the Guinness Book of World Records? LINKS ⁠⁠Vote for the winning advice! (Poll opens at 10am)⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, March 28th with Kristen Toomey and Sami Beason! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us for show dates and more: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adam Cay...

The boys are crazy for those Olympian hunks on ice! After Adam revealed his deep knowledge of men's Olympic figure skating, we didn't really have a choice—it was time to get back in the lab to analyze some frosty hunks. Click here to support our scientific research (and get the rest of this episode) by joining our Patreon! We'll be back next week with a new episode of Advice Fight! Learn more abou...

How to Have a Legendary 40th Birthday. TODAY'S QUESTION: Paging Dr. Hot Boiz, As three of the coolest over-40 dads on the block, your expertise is needed:  what is a legendary way for me to celebrate my upcoming 40th birthday? I could tell you all about myself to help make your answers relevant… but you guys are the experts!  I trust whatever plans you throw my way. Sincerely,The Birthday Boy LINK...

How To Get Your Groove Back, Guilt-Free. TODAY'S QUESTION: Hey guys! I am in need of some advice, but it's a little heavy. So, my son just turned 21. He is on the spectrum. He's high-functioning but needs a lot of support and attention throughout the day and can not safely live by himself. I've devoted the last 21 years of my life to supporting, raising, and advocating for him. I'm super proud of...

Making a plan for your magnificent corpse. TODAY'S QUESTION: "I wanted to seek some advice from the boiz about handling some end of life details. Thankfully, this is not something I'm eminently expecting. But, I was forced to grapple with this question earlier this year after a cancer scare. While on that note, let me suggest an old school grawlix challenge: Get a Colonoscopy. I put mine off despi...

When your partner blames your snoring for everything. TODAY'S QUESTION: Dearest Not Doctors, Love the pod, need your help. Here's the deal: I snore and I think it's ruining my marriage? I've done a sleep study and I don't have any medical issues like sleep apnea, so using a CPAP machine is off the table. Sleeping in a separate bedroom is also not an option because we can't afford another bedroom....

What to do when your father bequeaths you his sexy leather britches. TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear Grawlix, My boomer dad recently gave me a pair of black leather pants that he had custom made for himself many decades ago. They no longer fit him. Sadly, they do fit me. He made a crude joke when he handed them over about how much “tail” I’d get when I wear them. I’m happily married. Gross. I want nothing...

What to do when your regularly scheduled work Zoom meeting turns into a bad open mic. Dear Advice Fight, I have a daily work meeting in the morning where my colleagues are insufferable: They think they’re funny and they’re just NOT. This is a virtual daily meeting of regional executives, and as you might guess, the men are the worst offenders. I’ve brought it up to others who attend this meeting a...