Adventures of Des and Cort

Send us Fan Mail Des returns from Mississippi where she hit a family wedding, conquered Buc-ee’s like it was a competitive sport, visited New Orleans and got taken out by some local seafood 🤢. Meanwhile Cort survived parents’ weekend at the University of Idaho where tailgating turned into frat house karaoke and she is still recovering from the secondhand college energy 🎤🏈. The girls spiral into...

Send us Fan Mail This week’s episode is a full buffet of chaos, comedy, and confessionals — served with a side of sass and self-awareness. 🍽️💋 Des is back from Monterey, CA and she’s got stories. From a husband asking his wife if she packed his shorts (sir… if you want ‘em, pack ‘em 🩳🙄) to a snoring stranger who might’ve qualified for a full-blown sleep study — this trip had it all. ✈️😴 And do...

Send us Fan Mail This week’s episode is a full buffet of chaos, comedy, and confessionals... served with a side of sass and self-awareness. 🍽️💋 Des is back from Monterey, CA and she’s got stories. From a husband asking his wife if she packed his shorts (sir… if you want ‘em, pack ‘em 🩳🙄) to a snoring stranger who might’ve qualified for a full-blown sleep study — this trip had it all. ✈️😴 And d...

Send us Fan Mail This week’s episode is packed tighter than Des’s carry-on! We get spicy about public correction culture. Why are people out here hitting reply all or correcting someone in front of a crowd like it’s a sport? Babe, pull someone aside or send a text. You’re not scoring points for humiliation. 🫠🙃 Des is prepping for her trip and is on a mission to pack her entire wardrobe into one...

Send us Fan Mail 🎧 Tina #487 is here and honestly… she’s unhinged, iconic, and living rent-free in our heads. This week’s episode is serving chaotic comfort and couch confessions because we can’t stick to one topic and honestly, that’s our charm. 😂 Des kicks things off with her passionate ESPN rant. It’s loud, it’s repetitive, and apparently it’s hereditary because her daughter feels the exact s...

Send us Fan Mail Getting older? We’re here for it. We’re not fighting the years, we’re celebrating them. Because honestly… isn’t getting older the goal? 👑 This week we talk about the viral gummies that have taken over Des’s algorithm and officially de-influenced her 🙅‍♀️🍬. Cort spills the tea from her dreamy anniversary trip to McCall (golf, massages, wine, yes please) but also a hot flash of r...

Send us Fan Mail Back from Dallas and we’ve got STORIES. From airport chaos to near-stranger-danger moments, this trip was anything but boring. Des had a seatmate who was sweet enough to offer us a ride to the hotel…but listen sir, we are not starring in your true crime documentary today. 🚩😂 Meanwhile, Cortnie once again proved her iron bladder skills — years of flying and this woman has never u...

Send us Fan Mail 👖✈️ How is it possible to shop for 11 hours straight and still end up screaming “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!” at your closet?? That’s talent, babes. While Cort is already mentally in Dallas, Des tried to start packing early… but somehow ended up deep-cleaning her closet, organizing jewelry, and side-eyeing her ADHD instead. The suitcase? Still empty. The chaos? Still undefeated. 🤦‍♀...

Send us Fan Mail This week’s chaos is brought to you by slicked-back ponies, too many shopping bags, and way too much trust in Type A Cort. 💁🏼‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️ We kicked things off with Cort running a full-blown hair experiment on Des (spoiler: she passed the BFF test with flying colors), and Des has officially coined our new favorite phrase: “That’s little ponytail behavior.” It’s iconic, it’s petty,...

Send us Fan Mail This week, Cort passes the mic to her daughter Adrianna who’s smack in the middle of a quarter-life crisis and not afraid to roast her mom. 👩‍👧 From ditching cosmetology ✂️ to making a big pivot into nursing 💉, Adrianna proves life detours can be hilarious, messy, and absolutely worth it. But the real fun? She’s spilling childhood stories 👧, talking lying to Des when she babys...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome to Kegels, Convicts & Cash , the episode where Des and Cort prove that literally nothing is off-limits. We start with prison pen pals (because our algorithms think we need one) then slide right into the world of Kegel games with their very own app (yes, there’s an app for that 💪🍑). Somewhere between clenching and cringing, we bury our heads in the sand about life’s s...

Send us Fan Mail We’ve all heard it before 🙄 the side comments, the judgment, the “you’re just taking the easy way out.” This week, we’re setting the record straight. 💥 ✨ Hot Flashes of the Week: – People who text demanding things with zero greeting… rude. 😒📱 – Our smartwatches owning our souls. If it doesn’t get tracked, did it even happen? 🕒🏃‍♀️⌚ 💉 Then we dive into something real: our...

Send us Fan Mail ⛳️ From serious golf tourneys to serious meltdowns about spouses and rule-sticklers, we’re spilling it all this week. Turns out trying new things is terrifying… until it’s not and then it’s the best time ever. 💃✨ 📱 We also call ourselves out (ruthlessly) for doom-scrolling like it’s a full-time job and make a pact to put the damn phones down. Balance, babes. 💤 Des even had a...

Send us Fan Mail This week, we accidentally audition for a true crime podcast. It starts with Des trying to sell her car and ends with a total stranger taking it solo for a “test drive”  which apparently included picking up her kid from daycare, running errands, and leaving us stranded for an hour. In between plotting how to file a police report without sounding like idiots, we cover: 💩 shitty cu...

Send us Fan Mail Don’t let the title fool you, this episode is anything but a bore. Unless you’re our IT department, in which case… please call us back. Again. For the third time. 😤💻 This week, we’re serving up proud mom vibes and chaotic ramblings, per usual: 👩‍👧‍👦 Our kids are out here thriving and making us emotional! One started her dream job at a salon right next to our office (so we’ll...

Send us Fan Mail We may not be honor students, but we are women of wisdom, wine, and wildly off-topic rambles. 💃🏼🍷 This week, your favorite harlots got a little harmonious about the things we didn’t care enough about in school and the adult-ed classes we deserve now. Think: zero tests, zero grades, and absolutely no homework . Just learning, laughing, and sipping a cab sav while discussing the...

Send us Fan Mail We’re not bad friends, we’re efficient friends. The show-up-when-it-matters, no-fluff, no daily check-ins or long mushy texts, but we’ll absolutely show up when it counts. Need a ride? We’re there. Need a hype woman? Done. Need to emotionally unpack? Don’t do it too often. This week’s lineup of hot chaos includes: 🚗 Cort’s Peaceful Era (Unless She’s Driving): She’s evolved into a...

Send us Fan Mail When life gives you lemons and a leaky floaty… complain just loud enough and your very own Uncle Alan might show up with a Crown Royal bag full of change and a firm “Go buy the damn thing.” This week’s episode is a chaotic cocktail of: 🔥 Hot Flashes: – Dogs puking like it’s their job – AI-generated texts that sound like a robot wrote them mid-panic attack – People who clearly did...

Send us Fan Mail This week, we're tossing judgment, shame, and any lingering dignity straight into the f*ckit bucket and honestly, it’s getting full. 😅 👩‍👧‍👦 First up: dad jokes. Des came in hot with classics like “pullin’ chocks” and “pinchin’ a loaf” and we’re 99% sure our kids now plan to emancipate themselves. Mission accomplished. 💩✌️ 💋 Then we dive into the spicy world of couples...

Send us Fan Mail Some people get a glow-up and immediately forget they were ever crusty. 🙃 In this episode, we talk about the high horse Olympics . Those folks who were broke, struggling, or overweight five minutes ago and now act like they invented success. 🐴✨ Cool it, Carol. Just because you’ve got veneers and a gym membership doesn’t mean you get to shame someone still in the trenches. Humil...

Send us Fan Mail This week’s episode is brought to you by hot flashes and hotter takes 🔥 Cort’s still fired up over Idaho’s worst drivers (and giving them a piece of her mind in her car ALONE), and Des is in a full-blown rage spiral over those preachy “I’m better than you” posts. 🚨 We get it, you're holier than thou and so cool (but still weirdly posting trying to be relatable?). We chat ab...

Send us Fan Mail 🎙 Got The Morbs This week, Des has the morbs (aka a 19th-century case of the blahs), Cort’s high on wedding dress joy, and Zeek the cat has returned from his mysterious sabbatical like he didn’t ghost the entire family. Classic cat behavior. 🐾 We dive into the emotional rollercoaster of wedding dress shopping for Cort’s daughter (yes, we cried), the return of the strawberry moon...

Send us Fan Mail This week, we’re reporting live from the Buddy Bench …population: us. After our big golf league dreams ended with just the two of us sipping drinks alone on the patio, we realized maybe we’re not everyone's cup of Arnold Palmer. But hey, we crack ourselves up, so it’s fine. 😅⛳🍹 We chat: 🐱 Zeek the cat’s midlife crisis. He’s gone missing and were not sure if he went back t...

Send us Fan Mail ⛳️ Golf league started and somehow we’ve Freaky Friday’d into each other’s personalities — Cort’s the rule-reading golf scholar and Des is out here raw-dogging the fairway with a vodka soda and vibes. 😵‍💫 We talk about: 🚙 The sacred art of road trip snacking (and why a $100 gas station haul is basically therapy) 😩 The soul-crushing feeling of coming home after a trip 🫠 The H...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we unpack a senior moment that led Des to accidentally download something that made her computer scream for help (the internet is a scary place, folks). We also attempt to navigate the absolute emotional landmine that is… being given a compliment.  Like, what do you want us to do, smile? Say thank you?? Our imposter syndrome said no. We also catch up on the Handma...