Adult Child of Dysfunction

Have you ever had a huge emotional reaction to something seemingly small and thought, “Why am I THIS upset about this?” For adult children of dysfunction, emotional triggers can sometimes have less to do with what's happening in the present moment—and more to do with what your nervous system learned during childhood. In this episode of Tammy’s Takes , inspired by my conversation with EMDR therapis...

You've heard people talk about EMDR. Maybe you've even heard incredible stories about how much it helped someone heal from trauma. But what actually happens during EMDR? Are you really just watching a light move back and forth? Do you have to relive every painful thing that happened to you? And what if your trauma feels so overwhelming that you don't even want to open that door? In this episode of...

Have you ever looked back at a younger version of yourself and thought, Why did I put up with that? Why didn't I say something? Why did I keep trying so hard to make everyone happy? In this Tammy’s Take, Tammy explores an idea that came out of her conversation with Renae Linsom: when you know better, you can do better. For adult children of dysfunction, it's easy to look backward with everything w...

What do you do when something happens that changes your life so completely that you don't even recognize yourself anymore? At just 21 years old, Renae Linsom suddenly lost her mother. One day they were talking about the future. Then everything changed. Renée describes the years that followed as one of the darkest periods of her life. She couldn't find a reason to be happy and says she actually los...

What if the relationship you keep trying to fix isn’t the relationship you actually have—but the relationship you’ve spent years hoping it could become? After my conversation with Dr. Sharon Martin about family estrangement, boundaries, guilt, and healing, I wanted to dig deeper into something many adult children of dysfunctional families struggle with: the hope that maybe this time, they’ll final...

What do you do when the relationship you're desperately trying to save is with the very people who hurt you in the first place? Maybe you've tried communicating differently. You've forgiven. You've set boundaries. You've gone to therapy. You've given another chance—and then another. But nothing really changes. And when you finally consider stepping back, limiting contact, or even going no contact...

How much of your personality is really you —and how much of it developed because of what your family needed you to be? Maybe you're the responsible one, the helper, the peacekeeper, the high achiever, or the person who never needs anything. Maybe you've always described yourself as independent, easygoing, or a people-pleaser. But have you ever stopped and asked: Is that actually who I am—or is tha...

How much of who you are is actually you —and how much was handed to you by your family, your culture, your religion, and generations that came before you? In this episode of the Adult Child of Dysfunction Podcast , I sit down with author, historian, and educator Margaret Eastman Smith for a fascinating conversation about generational trauma, family history, identity, belonging, and what happens wh...

Have you ever had a relatively small situation create a surprisingly big emotional reaction? Someone doesn’t text you back. Your partner’s tone changes. Someone seems irritated. You feel left out, criticized, or unappreciated—and suddenly your mind is creating an entire story about what it means. If you grew up in a dysfunctional or unpredictable family, there may be a reason those moments feel so...

What does emotional sobriety mean for adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families? If childhood trauma taught you to stay on guard, people please, expect disappointment, overreact to triggers, or constantly prepare for what might go wrong, you may still be reacting to life through survival patterns you learned years ago. In Part Two of my conversation with Meagan DeMatteo , author of E...

Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, Why didn't I say something? I knew exactly what I wanted to say—why couldn't I say it? Maybe someone crossed a boundary and you froze. Maybe you automatically said, “It's fine,” even though it wasn't. Maybe someone asked what you wanted and you immediately said, “I don't care.” Then, 20 minutes later, when you were safely by yourself, all the...

What happens when silence becomes your first survival skill? Rich Dunning spent much of his childhood learning that staying quiet could keep him safe. Growing up surrounded by violence, poverty, instability, food insecurity and addiction, Rich learned how to survive long before he ever had the chance to simply be a child. At just seven years old, alcohol entered his life. By 16, Rich was homeless,...

Do you rehearse conversations before they happen, anticipate how someone will react, or find yourself worrying about problems that don't even exist yet? For many adult children of dysfunctional families, overthinking and catastrophizing aren't just bad habits. They can be old survival patterns. In my conversation with Chris Wasco, we talked about what she calls “recycled thoughts” —replaying past...

What happens when you grow up learning not to trust what you see, feel, or know? In this episode of the Adult Child of Dysfunction Podcast , I sit down with Chris Wasko , energy healer, spiritual counselor, psychic medium, creator of Spicy Old Souls , and author of An Old Soul's Journey: A Guide to Inner Child Healing and Conscious Evolution . Chris shares her experience growing up with narcissist...

Why do we keep doing things we know aren't helping us? Maybe you drink to relax. Maybe you reach for food when you're not hungry. Maybe you disappear into your phone. Maybe you procrastinate, overwork, people please, isolate, shop, shut down, or stay so busy that you never have to sit with what you're feeling. Then comes the judgment: “Why do I keep doing this?” “Why can't I just stop?” “What is w...

Binge drinking, gray area drinking, childhood pain, shame, and the hidden reasons we reach for alcohol with Life Beyond the Binge author Colleen Clifford. You don't drink every day. You don't drink alone. You can go weeks without alcohol. So you couldn't possibly have a drinking problem... right? In this episode of the Adult Child of Dysfunction Podcast , I sit down with Colleen Clifford , author...

Have you ever had something you desperately wanted to say... but stopped yourself? Maybe someone hurt your feelings and you immediately thought: “I'm probably overreacting.” Maybe you wanted to say no, but heard yourself say yes. Maybe you knew something didn't feel right, but talked yourself out of it. Or maybe you've spent so much of your life worrying about what everyone else thinks, feels, wan...

What happens when a diagnosis finally gives you an explanation for why you've struggled—but then starts becoming another label you carry? In this jpowerful episode, I sit down with Dene Dubois, for an incredibly open conversation about borderline personality disorder, childhood trauma, abandonment, trust, shame, relationships, and what it means to take your personal power back. Dene shares his exp...

Have you ever set a boundary... and then immediately felt the need to explain it? And then explain your explanation? Maybe you soften what you said, send another text, replay the conversation for hours, or start wondering whether you did something wrong. For many adult children of dysfunctional families , being misunderstood doesn’t just feel uncomfortable. It can feel unsafe. In this week’s Tammy...

Why do some relationships feel safe while others leave you anxious, overwhelmed, or constantly questioning yourself? The answer may have less to do with your partner—and far more to do with the attachment patterns your nervous system learned in childhood. In this episode of the Adult Child of Dysfunction Podcast , I sit down with Dr. Nima Rahmany , creator of the Becoming Trigger Proof® methodolog...

Have you ever stopped to wonder if the person you think you are... is actually the person you had to become to survive? In this week's Tammy's Takes , I'm reflecting on one of the most thought-provoking ideas from my conversation with author Megan DeMatteo , and taking it one step further. As adult children, many of us spend years believing that our people-pleasing, perfectionism, anxiety, hypervi...

Have you ever wondered why it's so hard to know who you really are after growing up in a dysfunctional family? Why setting boundaries feels uncomfortable, emotions feel overwhelming, or you find yourself living from survival instead of authenticity? In this episode of the Adult Child of Dysfunction Podcast , I sit down with writer and author Megan DeMatteo to explore the healing power of journalin...

Have you ever listened to a podcast, read a book, or had a conversation that unexpectedly left you feeling anxious, emotional, or overwhelmed? Maybe your first thought was, "Why am I still getting triggered?" or "Shouldn't I be further along by now?" If so, this week's Tammy's Takes is for you. Inspired by my conversation with Rachel, I wanted to remind you of something we often forget: healing is...

What if healing from trauma isn't about becoming the person you were before it happened, but learning to understand and have compassion for the person you are today? In this episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, I sit down with Rachel Buckmaster for an honest conversation about living with PTSD and what healing has actually looked like for her. Rachel was diagnosed with PTSD at 18 and has spent y...

Have you ever caught yourself wondering, "Was my childhood really that bad?" Maybe you've compared your experiences to others and convinced yourself that because someone else had it worse, your struggles today shouldn't matter. But what if that's the wrong question? In this week's Tammy's Takes , I'm reflecting on one of the most powerful moments from my conversation with trauma specialist Stacey...