Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen

"You can't let the animals die in a movie, only the women." Episode 65 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 dog kidnapping, Irish alcoholicing, Joshua Tree shoot-outing classic Seven Psychopaths. Mark & Ryan discuss the US election result, the Edinburgh beheading and whether Cullen is a psychopath. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast...

"We are never going into the woods again" Episode 64 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003 organ jarring, rednecking, in breeding horror Wrong Turn. Mark & Ryan discuss stealing from train companies, Trump on Rogan and cannibals. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a...

"What's your favourite scary movie?" Episode 63 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 Barrymore slashing, Arquette stabbing, ghost facing classic Scream. Mark & Ryan discuss DIY haircuts, sex after relatives have died and why the Woodsboro police force are the worst in the world. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd...

"I'm too old for this shit" Episode 62 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987 building jumping, bullet eating, mullet sporting classic Lethal Weapon. Mark & Ryan discuss new bald news, sexual tension with opticians and why this is ones of the greatest action films of all time. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like...

"69, dudes" Episode 61 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 most bodacious, most triumphant, most excellent classic Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Mark & Ryan discuss car troubles, time paradoxes and the many crimes of Genghis Khan. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to...

“I am the law” Episode 60 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 people skinning, ma ma-ing, slo-mo-ing classic Dredd. Mark and Ryan talk about school reunions, Eric Clapton's kids, and why slo-mo is cool.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email :  absolutecutsp...

“In Vegas, everybody’s gotta watch everybody else.” Episode 59 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 card cheating, orange suit wearing, head in a vice-ing classic Casino. Mark and Ryan talk about murdering Cullen's cat, taking a shit in the Vatican and whether Sharon Stone would suck Joe Pesci off.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, w...

"I wonder who won Daytona" Episode 58 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993, plutonium handling, Soviet Unioning, Alister Macleaning bag of shite Death Train Mark and Ryan talk about Dizzie Rascal, punching bags and everyone hating James Corden.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and...

"You're not Death. You're just a kid in a suit." Episode 57 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1998 multiple car crashing, peanut buttering, never ending horror show Meet Joe Black. Mark and Ryan talk about 9/11 jokes, which drinks belong in which receptacles and ponder what Death would ejaculate. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what g...

"So say it once, say it loud: I'm black and I'm proud" Episode 56 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the soul singing, Wilson Picketting, Mustang Sallying classic, The Commitments Mark and Ryan talk about Chris Benoit, band names and why this film perfectly represents Dublin. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on...

"What is it with this chick? She have beer flavoured nipples?" Episode 55 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the Shakespearing, Frankie Valli singing, teacher flashing shitshow 10 Things I Hate About You.  Mark and Ryan talk about the Oasis reunion, the rules of wet-shirt contests and why none of the schoolteachers in this film would ever keep their job.  Please get in...

"What's wrong Dillon, CIA got you pushing too many pencils" Episode 54 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the greased muscling, testosterone spunking, Arnie quipping classic Predator. Mark and Ryan talk about Bond girls, which British celebrity would play the Predator and why this might be the greatest film ever made. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy th...

"I see dead people" Episode 53 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the Donnie Wahlberging , twisty turning, cheese dicking classic The Sixth Sense. Mark and Ryan talk about the Fringe, invent the game Cum Ball, and discuss what ghosts can actually do. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to...

"My Father saw me play Fulham" Episode 52 of Absolute Cuts is the second of our Euros specials. This week's episode sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the globe trotting, Geordie stereotyping, Zinedine Zidaneing bin fire, Goal. Mark and Ryan talk about the Euros, racist Mexicans and why none of this film would every happen. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast,...

"This frigging game is ruining my life" Episode 51 of Absolute Cuts is the first of our Euros specials. This week's episode sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the arm breaking, Victoire chanting, overhead kicking classic Escape To Victory. Mark and Ryan talk about Glastonbury, Pele talking like Borat and the sheer pointlessness of life.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy...

"If there's one thing the last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than need a gun and not have it." Episode 50 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the roller coasting, call girling, coming home in a body bagging classic True Romance. Mark and Ryan talk about the Euros, Cillit Bang and shagging Elvis just before he died.  Please get in touch an...

"I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it." Episode 49 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1985 time travelling, flux capaciting, 1.21 gigawatting classic Back To The Future. Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen's tumour, Nelson's hair and how hot your younger Mum would have to be before you pumped her.  Please get in touch and let us k...

"I like these calm little moments before the storm." Episode 48 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 family slaying, contract killing, inappropriate sleepovering classic Leon The Professional. Mark and Ryan talk about how easy it would be to kill a pensioner, drinking milk in a car and why this film is just Luc Besson living out his weird fantasy life.  Please g...

"Lawrence of my labia" Episode 47 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 camel riding, gay weddinging, hot nanny obsessing, desert storm of shit Sex And The City 2.  Mark and Ryan talk about rainy music festivals, selling a house and how this film manages to be simultaneously racist, sexist, classist, homophobic and truly awful.  Please get in touch and let us kno...

"I always was a sucker for a redhead." Episode 46 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 Porsche jacking, Ferrari boosting, low-riding classic, Gone In 60 Seconds. Mark and Ryan talk about what they would do for £27 million, lawnmowers and why no one in this film is good at their job. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd...

"I put a bird on my head." Episode 45 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 altar jilting, closet building, Vivienne Westwooding, binfire Sex And The City. Mark and Ryan talk about Eurovision, why not one character in this horrific film is likeable at all and Cullen reads Nelson some of James Joyce's love letters.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy...

"Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?" Episode 44 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984, leg weeping, body bag getting, wax on/wax offing classic The Karate Kid.  Mark and Ryan talk about the bald men meeting up, Nelson becoming an ice bath guy and Cullen's theory on how Miyagi made his money.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, w...

"You're an inanimate f**cking object" Episode 43 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008, sight-seeing, Canadian punching, alcove dwelling classic In Bruges.  Mark and Ryan talk about the Irish, Belgium and how to survive a tsunami.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a fi...

"GET OFF MY PLANE" Episode 42 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997, plane hijacking, Harrison Fording, shite CGI-ing classic Air Force One.  Mark and Ryan talk about balaclavas, Cullen trying to organise a game of 5's and what cool things Air Force One actually has? Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in...

"Not at the table Carlos" Episode 41 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2009, teeth pulling, tiger stealing, hooker marrying classic The Hangover.  Mark and Ryan talk about Lady Gaga, treating a cut thumb and of course, VEGAS BABY. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film...