Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen

“I'd hit him with my car if he wouldn't make body casts a fashion statement" Episode 74 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 thong wearing, oestrogen slurping, herpes advertising bin fire John Tucker Must Die. Mark & Ryan discuss Nazis in the White House, speaking Czech and why it would be better if someone actually died in this godawful film.  Please get in...

"Pop quiz hot shot” Episode 73 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 lift dropping, subway beheading, 50mph-ing classic Speed. Mark & Ryan discuss why you don’t get many mad bastards anymore, Nelson explains his marathon idea and whether Keane belongs on the action star Mount Rushmore.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests...

"Don't do my dad doggy-style. He's got very bad knees." Episode 72 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2015 Nutcracker Balling, Cocaine blooding, Miley Cyrusing classic The Night Before. Mark & Ryan discuss Bram Stoker, how Christopher Reeve died and Ryan revisits his hatred of Anthony Mackie. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what gu...

"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs" Episode 71 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 bare footing, yippe ki aying, now I have a machine gunning classic Die Hard. Mark & Ryan discuss shite advent calendars, Nelson's anti ageing process and what Die Hard is really about. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, wh...

"SANTA" Episode 70 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the twirly wirly gum dropping, son of a nutcrackering, cotton headed ninimugginsing classic Elf. Mark & Ryan discuss hangover cures, the state of modern society and Nelson ruins yet another family favourite with his theories. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to...

"Merry Christmas ya filthy animal...and a happy New Year" Episode 69 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 bird womaning, sticky banditing, Trump cameoing classic Home Alone 2 : Lost In New York. Mark & Ryan discuss dodgy tax deductions, balloon sculpting and Nelson builds on his theories about Peter McAllister and Uncle Frank. Please get in touch and let us...

"Better to be someone for a day than no one for a lifetime." Episode 68 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 sheep shooting, FILA wearing, cunt ordering classic The Business. Mark & Ryan discuss dentists, Wicked and Nelson reveals the wildest film fact yet.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in fut...

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it" Episode 67 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 school skipping, Ferrari joyriding, Danke Schoening classic Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Mark & Ryan discuss Gladiator 2, what happened to Cullen's socks and Nelson presents a wild Ferris Bueller theory.  Please get in t...

"I'll give you a war you wouldn't believe." Episode 66 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1982 vagrant arresting, mineshaft crawling, PTSDing classic  First Blood. Mark & Ryan discuss poppies, why London is shite and the Mount Rushmore of action stars. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episo...

"You can't let the animals die in a movie, only the women." Episode 65 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 dog kidnapping, Irish alcoholicing, Joshua Tree shoot-outing classic Seven Psychopaths. Mark & Ryan discuss the US election result, the Edinburgh beheading and whether Cullen is a psychopath. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast...

"We are never going into the woods again" Episode 64 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003 organ jarring, rednecking, in breeding horror Wrong Turn. Mark & Ryan discuss stealing from train companies, Trump on Rogan and cannibals. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a...

"What's your favourite scary movie?" Episode 63 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 Barrymore slashing, Arquette stabbing, ghost facing classic Scream. Mark & Ryan discuss DIY haircuts, sex after relatives have died and why the Woodsboro police force are the worst in the world. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd...

"I'm too old for this shit" Episode 62 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987 building jumping, bullet eating, mullet sporting classic Lethal Weapon. Mark & Ryan discuss new bald news, sexual tension with opticians and why this is ones of the greatest action films of all time. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like...

"69, dudes" Episode 61 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 most bodacious, most triumphant, most excellent classic Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Mark & Ryan discuss car troubles, time paradoxes and the many crimes of Genghis Khan. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to...

“I am the law” Episode 60 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 people skinning, ma ma-ing, slo-mo-ing classic Dredd. Mark and Ryan talk about school reunions, Eric Clapton's kids, and why slo-mo is cool.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email :  absolutecutsp...

“In Vegas, everybody’s gotta watch everybody else.” Episode 59 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 card cheating, orange suit wearing, head in a vice-ing classic Casino. Mark and Ryan talk about murdering Cullen's cat, taking a shit in the Vatican and whether Sharon Stone would suck Joe Pesci off.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, w...

"I wonder who won Daytona" Episode 58 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993, plutonium handling, Soviet Unioning, Alister Macleaning bag of shite Death Train Mark and Ryan talk about Dizzie Rascal, punching bags and everyone hating James Corden.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and...

"You're not Death. You're just a kid in a suit." Episode 57 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1998 multiple car crashing, peanut buttering, never ending horror show Meet Joe Black. Mark and Ryan talk about 9/11 jokes, which drinks belong in which receptacles and ponder what Death would ejaculate. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what g...

"So say it once, say it loud: I'm black and I'm proud" Episode 56 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the soul singing, Wilson Picketting, Mustang Sallying classic, The Commitments Mark and Ryan talk about Chris Benoit, band names and why this film perfectly represents Dublin. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on...

"What is it with this chick? She have beer flavoured nipples?" Episode 55 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the Shakespearing, Frankie Valli singing, teacher flashing shitshow 10 Things I Hate About You.  Mark and Ryan talk about the Oasis reunion, the rules of wet-shirt contests and why none of the schoolteachers in this film would ever keep their job.  Please get in...

"What's wrong Dillon, CIA got you pushing too many pencils" Episode 54 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the greased muscling, testosterone spunking, Arnie quipping classic Predator. Mark and Ryan talk about Bond girls, which British celebrity would play the Predator and why this might be the greatest film ever made. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy th...

"I see dead people" Episode 53 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the Donnie Wahlberging , twisty turning, cheese dicking classic The Sixth Sense. Mark and Ryan talk about the Fringe, invent the game Cum Ball, and discuss what ghosts can actually do. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to...

"My Father saw me play Fulham" Episode 52 of Absolute Cuts is the second of our Euros specials. This week's episode sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the globe trotting, Geordie stereotyping, Zinedine Zidaneing bin fire, Goal. Mark and Ryan talk about the Euros, racist Mexicans and why none of this film would every happen. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast,...

"This frigging game is ruining my life" Episode 51 of Absolute Cuts is the first of our Euros specials. This week's episode sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the arm breaking, Victoire chanting, overhead kicking classic Escape To Victory. Mark and Ryan talk about Glastonbury, Pele talking like Borat and the sheer pointlessness of life.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy...

"If there's one thing the last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than need a gun and not have it." Episode 50 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the roller coasting, call girling, coming home in a body bagging classic True Romance. Mark and Ryan talk about the Euros, Cillit Bang and shagging Elvis just before he died.  Please get in touch an...