Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen

"It's obvious the bastard's got Lyme disease" Episode 90 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 tentacle probing, bath worming, exploding in a barn-ing classic Slither. Ryan and Mark talk about Cullen's memorable taxi journey, blood tests and why this is the most fucked up film they have seen in a long time.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the po...

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve" Episode 89 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 child smoking, leech pulling, competitive pie eating classic Stand By Me. Ryan and Mark talk about  if certain things would get you arrested, Cullen conquering LA and how you should remove a leech. Please get in touch and let us know if you en...

"I'm your huckleberry" Episode 88 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 lungering, opium tanning, pistol whipping classic Tombstone. Ryan and Mark talk about how pish coffee is, golf and what character we would be in a Western. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film....

"Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch" Episode 87 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999 fallen angel-ing, last scion-ing, female Almighty-ing classic Dogma. Ryan and Mark talk about pilates, Kneecap, and Nelson asks the most controversial question on the podcast to date. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on...

"You know what, Anderson? You're starting to get so far up my nose, I'm beginning to feel your boots on my chin!" Episode 86 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 cornholing, shitkicking, good ole boying classic Mississippi Burning. Ryan and Mark talk about Judas, Willem Dafoe's cock and Cullen reveals the most mental thing he almost did. Please get in touch and...

"Guns don't kill people. People kill people" Episode 85 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 xray showing, DMXing, Aaliyahing pile of shit Romeo Must Die. Ryan and Mark talk about crows, offensive Irish jokes and Nelson gets Cullen with the best one for a while. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in fut...

"You've got red on you" Episode 84 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004 flesh eating, Mother shooting, Don't Stop Me Now-ing classic Shaun Of The Dead. Ryan and Mark talk about pig farms, comfortable shoes and the best weapon to kill a zombie. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to...

“Allow myself to introduce... myself.” Episode 83 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 shagadelicking, big bag of ssshhing, yeah babying classic Austin Powers. Ryan and Mark talk about aspirin, Val Kilmer and disagree over how hot Elizabeth Hurley is.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episod...

“You gotta always protect the McNuggets” Episode 82 of Absolute Cuts sees host Ryan Cullen and special guest host Daniel Sloss discuss the 2005 drunk driving, sadistic wardening, convict touchdowning classic The Longest Yard. Ryan and Daniel talk about WhatsApp group nicknames, Karl Urban & fight about their movie tastes. Normal service resumes next week when Nelson is back from the Alps.  Ple...

"And remember, it's "Ma'am" as in "ham", not "Ma'am" as in "farm"." Episode 81 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 stag hunting, curtseying, People's Princess murdering classic The Queen. Mark & Ryan talk about St Paddy's Day, Nelson's first lads holiday and find out the dogs were the real stars of this film. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy...

"Now were you rushing or were you dragging?" Episode 80 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2014 chair hurling, finger bleeding, Caravaning classic Whiplash. Mark & Ryan talk about breakfast in a bag, the Glastonbury line up and what is more important, greatness or happiness? Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to...

"Nice beaver" Episode 79 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 Queen first pitching, dual safe sexing, OJ Simpsoning classic The Naked Gun. Mark & Ryan talk about modern audiences, getting out of jury duty, and why this film deserved an Oscar. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and...

"I suppose a ride is out of the question?" Episode 78 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 Spanish sailoring, pints with the ladsing, drinking while pregnanting classic The Snapper. Mark & Ryan discuss eating chicken in bed, Popes and whether this is the most Irish film ever made.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you...

"This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers." Episode 77 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001 chain smoking, Chardonnay drinking, massive pant wearing horror show Bridget Jones's Diary. Mark & Ryan discuss Amsterdam, Ozempic and why there only seemed to be about 12 English actors through the whole of the 90s/2000s.  Please get in touch and let us know i...

"The last time I was in water like this I had to stay up all night picking leeches off my scrotum" Episode 76 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 wasp choking, Owen Wilson shagging, sneering at J-Loing classic Anaconda. Mark & Ryan discuss ruining wrestling for kids, Cullen Oscar play offing Nelson and fucking JON VOIGT. Please get in touch and let us know...

"Swing away Merrill" Episode 75 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2002 crop circling, faith losing, half water drinking classic Signs. Mark & Ryan discuss what they would do to each other's corpses, where Cullen has stuck his inhaler and Nelson presents another of his theories about this film.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what...

“I'd hit him with my car if he wouldn't make body casts a fashion statement" Episode 74 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 thong wearing, oestrogen slurping, herpes advertising bin fire John Tucker Must Die. Mark & Ryan discuss Nazis in the White House, speaking Czech and why it would be better if someone actually died in this godawful film.  Please get in...

"Pop quiz hot shot” Episode 73 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 lift dropping, subway beheading, 50mph-ing classic Speed. Mark & Ryan discuss why you don’t get many mad bastards anymore, Nelson explains his marathon idea and whether Keane belongs on the action star Mount Rushmore.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests...

"Don't do my dad doggy-style. He's got very bad knees." Episode 72 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2015 Nutcracker Balling, Cocaine blooding, Miley Cyrusing classic The Night Before. Mark & Ryan discuss Bram Stoker, how Christopher Reeve died and Ryan revisits his hatred of Anthony Mackie. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what gu...

"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs" Episode 71 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 bare footing, yippe ki aying, now I have a machine gunning classic Die Hard. Mark & Ryan discuss shite advent calendars, Nelson's anti ageing process and what Die Hard is really about. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, wh...

"SANTA" Episode 70 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the twirly wirly gum dropping, son of a nutcrackering, cotton headed ninimugginsing classic Elf. Mark & Ryan discuss hangover cures, the state of modern society and Nelson ruins yet another family favourite with his theories. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to...

"Merry Christmas ya filthy animal...and a happy New Year" Episode 69 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 bird womaning, sticky banditing, Trump cameoing classic Home Alone 2 : Lost In New York. Mark & Ryan discuss dodgy tax deductions, balloon sculpting and Nelson builds on his theories about Peter McAllister and Uncle Frank. Please get in touch and let us...

"Better to be someone for a day than no one for a lifetime." Episode 68 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 sheep shooting, FILA wearing, cunt ordering classic The Business. Mark & Ryan discuss dentists, Wicked and Nelson reveals the wildest film fact yet.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in fut...

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it" Episode 67 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 school skipping, Ferrari joyriding, Danke Schoening classic Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Mark & Ryan discuss Gladiator 2, what happened to Cullen's socks and Nelson presents a wild Ferris Bueller theory.  Please get in t...

"I'll give you a war you wouldn't believe." Episode 66 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1982 vagrant arresting, mineshaft crawling, PTSDing classic  First Blood. Mark & Ryan discuss poppies, why London is shite and the Mount Rushmore of action stars. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episo...