A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast

Joe & Leon; violent pleasuring! Can this magnificent story end satisfactorily? 2 or 5 planes? Delicious monster model work! A lecture on making television? The story of Fred the guard and his final day on Earth.

Joe & Leon; sex therapy! Negroni’s have been downed and Leon can still summarise this excellent story! Doctor Who; black and white or colour? What separates a Doctor Who fan from a not we? Sarah Jane - badass!

We talk podcast titles, in jokes and artwork. The best possession horror in Doctor Who? The best greened out bald spot? Anxious, distressed music? Joe’s impression of the most camp, menacing villain. Our love for this diminishes not a joy.

Joe & Leon; hard for Operation Nuthouse! Action! Amelia! Amazing cliffhanger! Mad eccentric old women, machine guns spitting fire, Sarah Jane on mortal peril…we couldn’t be more in love. We could play all day in this green cathedral!

Joe & Leon; slightly sozzled. Scorby & Keeler come under the microscope, so does the Doctor and his relationship with guns & violence. We celebrate the fabulous Who Back When Vindex! And the weirdest equipment to ever feature in Doctor Who.

Joe & Leon; not drink yet… Who Back When superstar features and Joe is fangasming! What does Leon have a hardon for? Fake beard alert! How much like The Avengers are the Doctor and Sarah? How much is Chase a Bond villain?

Joe & Lucy; introvert or extrovert? Was Tegan in love with the Doctor? Can you give their relationship a romantic reading? Peter Moffat’s direction defended! Saving the best for last? Lucy is nostalgic but we’re both enjoying our time watching this.

Joe & Lucy; furniture talk! What connects this and Resolution? Is three companions too many? Is Davison John Wayne? Are we marking time in episode three? Joe realises something odd about the Terileptil design that he’s never noticed before!

Why is Peter Davison naughty? What do we think of 80s synth music? What are the shortcomings and strengths of the Tereleptil costumes? What links this to The Claws of Axos? An ambitious plan on the part of our monsters of the week?

Joe & Lucy; confessing their loves for leafy forests and creepy history! Why is Tegan so pissed off? Lucy has the answer! Why is the opening so suspenseful? Lucy has the answer! Why did Lucy fancy Adric when she was younger? Lucy does not have a the answer!

Joe & Fiona; what have we been up to in 2020? Fiona is not impressed with quarry action, Joe is confused by the ambition of four Zygons taking over the world and we both love the Skarasen popping his head out of the Thames. This isn’t perfect, but it’s still bloody good.

Joe & Fiona; afraid of the evil eye! Revealed - the most disappointing cliffhanger of all time! John Woodnut twinkles, Sister Lamont scares the crap out of us, and we can’t get enough of Sarah and Harry!

Joe & Fiona; trying to choose between classic and NuWho! We debunk Sarah being in love with the Doctor, and discuss what makes a great companion. Huge Zygon love, we’re petrified of fake Harry and the hypnotising Doctor and we gasp at the horror of the deadly Skarasen!

Joe & Fiona; in reminiscent mood! Spooks and scares all the way as the monster is slowly revealed, many convention anecdotes and a gorgeous tale of the time Fiona was married to Nicholas Courtney. We’re convinced Sussex is Scotland because it all looks so cold!

Joe & Matt; looking at that great spider! Barry Letts as a director comes under the microscope, we adore Ruebish, discuss Holmes’ skilful talent with exposition and memorable, quotable dialogue, and collective hardons for a story this irreverent and relaxed.

Joe & Matt; heading down a very dark path. Castle design, Boba Fett replaced, comparisons to Lucasfilm productions, Matt’s huge concerns for Baby Yoda, why Pertwee has more presence than his predecessors, and more 3/Sarah love.

Joe & Matt; one of us is impressed about the others tongue action! A long talk about the Sontarans; their importance, design and rank their appearances. Is Linx a pastiche of the third Doctor? A monster or a character? Is this a prototype Tom Baker story? The rudest question ever asked on this podcast featured.

Joe & Matt; queueing up to shag Jon Pertwee. We applaud the creative team of Barry Letts & Terrance Dicks, the stunning introduction of Sarah Jane Smith and the effortlessly funny and smart introduction of the Sontarans. Pertwee at his height!

Joe & Jeff; winner takes all! Fabulous new titles, a spanking new TARDIS interior, deft and subtle character work, a quest story, gobsmacking visuals, and getting to know our heroes. There’s lots of new things going on here and it’s a fresh approach to the show.

Joe & Jeff; in love with black and white Doctor Who ❤️ We adore everything about this story; William Hartnell, Ian and Barbara, the introduction of Vicki, the direction and most importantly the wonderful family feel. Much discussion of fandom family, artistic avenues and why Doctor Who means so much to us.

Joe & Brendan; happy landings! Why is this the best episode ever according to us, and the worst according to Rob Shearman? Tegan & Nyssa smackdown; who is better? Brendan’s wonderful trivia continues to dazzle.

Joe & Brendan; scandalous (unrevealed) sex secrets and scandalous Target tales. An appalling tale about new spin off show ‘Nurse Who.’ We discuss conceptual SF, a good use of Nyssa, embarrassed performances and lots of word peril. Crispins Boys appreciation!

Joe & Brendan; checking out a new Indonesian restaurant. Is Kalid spectacularly racist? Is the Iron Curtain comment a stab at realism or a terrible joke? Brendan gives a fascinating history and development of this script, which explains some plot inconsistencies. We discuss whether Ainley is pure ham or merely obeying orders?

Joe & Brendan; in a hurry to get over the death of a maths nerd. What is a space plane? What was Brendan’s dad doing at 4am? What is the middle ground between Time-Flight and series 9? How tenacious is JNT? When was this story originally going to be placed? Are the Plasmatons crapola (TM Janet Fielding)?

Joe, Frazer and Si; not in agreement on TARDIS design. How many technical difficulties can we have in one episode? Do we agree on Leela’s exit? What is the perfect six parter? Can Joe return any sanity to the discussion?