A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast

Joe & Greg; strangled by tentacles! What is the right amount of dramatic shorthand? Can you turn Ghandi into a killer? Can you rely on actors to stay still? Snapping assholes??? The Doctor emerges…

Joe & Greg; avoiding episode three altogether! More fabulous Meg and Sam scenes! Murder and mayhem, absurd monsters that are chilling, a Doctor on the hunt, dry wit, marvellous direction and an unforgettable cliffhanger. Is this the scariest Doctor Who story?

Joe & Greg; lost inside episode two episode one! Is this story really about Meg Seeley and her struggle with gooey faced facsimile? Is the Brigadier the lead now? We marvel at how charming Jon Pertwee is when he finally gets some extended dialogue. Creepy dolls abound.

Joe & Greg; comically playing with wheelchairs! It’s all change for Doctor Who, and 9 year old Greg is very happy with the new format. A mute Doctor, chilling villain, flashy direction and some real scares. ‘Unhand me madam!’

Joe & Mark; podcasters join forces! Mark loves this and he’s so charming in his exploration of why that by the end of commentary you probably will too. I loved recording this; Capaldi, Coleman and Moffat love abounds.

Joe & Mark; in person and enjoying each other’s company immensely. Will Mark ever get to talk about Hide? Not if Joe has anything to do about it. Much diversions, deviations, naughty observations and irreverence ahead. Occasionally a defence of Hide!

Joe & Matt; how could we top episodes 1-3 for pleasure? A thrilling climax, high stakes, endlessly quotable lines, a Tetrap army and bangle action! Would this make a satisfying Colin climax? Matt and I seal our relationship.

Joe & Matt; increasing the stimulation. We cast the first six Ranis! The prequel story of the Ood brain revealed! The tragic tale of Shomi the cat! And Sylvester McCoy doing something obscene! All this and more! Ann? Fagetta!

Joe & Matt; more tongue action. More talk about how glorious Sylvester McCoy is in S24, more laughing with this wonderfully funny script, more admiration for the production value. This is blissfully enjoyable.

Joe & Matt; obscene sexual content! Accessible, camp, fun, quirky and deliriously funny; we come not to bury Time and the Rani but to praise it! What would a Pip’n’Jane script edited season look like? One of the best ever cliffhangers?

Joe & Nathan; all but one doomed to die… Why have Doctor Who stars stopped coming to Australia? Why is Joe wrong about continuity? And what dark moment does Nathan break the sound system with his laughter? We couldn’t be more in love…and with the story too 😆

Joe & Nathan; exchanging outrageous tales whilst banged up. Which Tom is best Tom? Will Nathan hit peak laughter in this blackly funny episode? Are villains more interesting than monsters? Binro the heretic; the best supporting character? The Seeker; the maddest ever performance?

Joe & Nathan; searching for a Scringe Stone mine! A huge discussion on the nature of television, then and now, and how performances and direction have changed. This is a heist plot and we’re in suspense waiting for it to go horribly wrong for the heroes of the show, Garron and Unstoffe.

Joe & Nathan; almost willing to be impressed! Is Doctor Who taking on a mission from God? Contempt for colonialism, a ridiculous premise undermined by a genius, terrific production design, a fabulously funny villain, and a Doctor Who story that ISN’T the end of the universe.

Joe & Frazer & Si; refusing to anticlimax! What’s the best way to binge The Armageddon Factor? Imagine only 25 minutes of Doctor Who a week? How do you wrap up a 26 episode season on Doctor Who? We’re together, we’re finishing off, and we’re satisfied.

Joe & Si & Frazer; plus guest stars the Black Guardian, Merak and Shapp! Why does Frazer tell Joe to 'stop it' this week? Does the Graham Williams era score better at imaginative conclusions? What was Si's part in The Two Romanas? Who doesn't Lalla Ward like? Why is Frazer horny this week? How thin is the novelisation? Huge Drax love. 'Peter Sigma!' 

Joe & Frazer & Si; jackdaw meandering! How does Si give Joe a boner this week? The perfect Big Finish story? Frazer’s take on ambition versus the ability to realise it. A masterclass in villainy cliffhanger acting! Joe sets a challenge, and immediately fails.

Joe & Si & Frazer; discussing when Doctor Who has scared the shit out of them. Clever scripting, mummy tits, titles mentioned in stories, flirty subtitles between computers, and a story that continues to surprise as with its developments.

Joe & Frazer & Si; both agreeing and disagreeing. Cold War allusions, effective budget saving devices, Tom Baker versus Graham Williams, a protracted K.9 suspense sequence, and cliffhangers that don’t hang.

Joe & Si & Frazer; young men who are dying for it! The worst of the duffers or unfairly maligned? John Woodvine love abounds, plus we’re positive about the shadowy direction, the design, the lighting and the music. Basically - this is much better than you have been led to believe!

Joe & Steven; surrounded by the dead! Missy is sick and silly, the Doctor is distant and contradictory, Clara is hyper confident and falls apart, Danny is emotionless and butch. Nobody is saying what they feel. No wonder we’re so frustrated.

Joe & Steven; going to hell. Is this the darkest Doctor Who? How far is too far? Is this a riveting conceptual horror or a paceless bore? Danny Pink; charisma bypass? Joe won’t make the compromises this story asks, and Steven is delighted about the new female Time Lady.

Joe & Colin; we think this is perfection. Technically, emotionally, conceptually, creatively perfect. This was enough to salvage Doctor Who for Joe, and to score a 10/10 from Colin. We examine the era, and the story, and the season. Huge Jenna Coleman love.

Joe & Jason; courting contention! Exposition, cute monsters, talking about adventures more exciting than what we’re watching, great sets, a verbose Doctor, close ups, pretty people, and a pregnant man. Where else but Doctor Who?

Joe & David; flat-sharing in hell! Why did Pearl Mackie only have one year? David is in love with David Suchet, the atmosphere, the twists and the horror. Joe is less convinced, but his guest offers a compelling argument.