A Cynical Optimist

Guitar center show offs and I get anxiety if I’m asked to play guitar. RIP to the green ranger. Showed me how to beat up dudes with medallion hearts. My favorite and least favorite Thanksgiving sides!

Ska music is the best even at funerals! Swiftys can change the course of ticket history. Don’t worry darling was decent but they had no frutopia. Banks are the worst with money

My gift gets confirmed once again on this episode! A haircut shouldn’t be as hard as figuring out the metaverse. Tipping comes up again. Sorry. Elon can now do what he wants and that does not include sex with me.

I come to the realization that I don’t need to hear sales pitches anymore. If you’re rich you can definitely have more fun like Diddy! Unfortunately, we lose another legend in the hip hop game. Change is scary but if it came out on a sitcom on the 90s it helped me cope.

We are no longer a democracy but an idiocracy. Privileged protestors show they care by destroying art around other privileged people. Kanye really did it this time. Instagram games are annoying and pointless!

Ticket master can suck my 182 inch blink. Why do celebrities get such shitty seats? Isn’t our childhood sacred enough not to turn into a horror film? And a little bit of optimism on the way out.

Chris Pratt has been an Italian plumber and we just didn’t know it. You can not pay me to pay for someone’s instagram subscription! Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for since I predicted it! Blink 182 is back together and all is right in the world!!

I find my self talking more marvel talk. Community movie announced and I see the light at the end of the tunnel! Does SNL steal sketches? If so I have a few you can have! And lastly, do you want to hear me sing? No? Ok here I go….

My house is a terrarium! Anxiety is a challenge that you can cure with boner pills. Nofx calling it quits and I’m okay with it! A particular punk album let’s me know being alone is ok!

Being a rapper almost seems like a death sentence. Queens gambit was actually good! Let me get the chicken Parmesan hold the NyQuil. At last we finally know that sway did indeed have the answers!

We had a moment with mumble rap and a few stayed and a few well didn’t sort of. Thor and morbid movie review that much like the movies aren’t that bad but also not that good. Maybe the worst pod I’ve edited or put together? But stick with me it will get better!

Moved into a new house! Got high off of our work supply. Trying to buy a car sucks! Tipping comes up again cause it’s me. Dinosaurs get paid peanuts in new Jurassic movie!

What happened to batgirl was equivalent to somebody passing. The mist movie had the best or worst ending. Let’s stop experimenting on shit! I know more about law then most internet cops!

Not knowing when you’re in the good ole days. Eat what you want just don’t bring it around me. What happened to NFTs? Did you realize it was just a screenshot you paid 2 million for?

They sell us our memories in a funko pop. You gotta be fast if you’re gonna catch a trend! Zumiez had the most smokers per capita. Best Buy charging me for bag technology. I scared myself right into a scary story!

SDCC happened and bad CGI makes people not believe Groot is real. The streets on the internet are tough! Being punk rock is cool now so stop being so punk about it! And finally shoutout Sean!

Don’t talk up an artist or musician just tell them you love their stuff and get out of there! I hate social experiments recorded for the internet. There are some people that are truly in love walking everywhere together! Was the whole world just really talented at trick shots?

On the way to Austin me and my wife talk about the bands fiddlehead and no pressure and how we discovered them. What it meant to be straight edge. As a bonus we recap how the show went!

I get way to passionate about how much donkey balls my city sucks. Is porn a big deal? Nothing really matters cause we are on a rock rotating with other rocks in a rotating motion!

Movie and music reviews take the experience out of just consuming it. What I would do if I won the lotto! And it doesn’t even start with buying stuff. It is official I am old and not keeping up with the times!

It’s different now that I am the new Mr. Worldwide. I might want to live in the middle of nowhere soon. I’m up to my old ways with time travel talk to which I know so little about. Has innovation slowed down? Or, do I just now know what I’m talking about! Find out!

First time bringing up a deep and sad topic. Shrinkflation is absolutely out of pocket! No need to worry if you’re a freak cause the internet has a place just for you!

It’s a good one this week! Me and my wife did a road trip podcast on the way to see the carousel tour with Anthony Green and Laura Jane Grace! We talk all topics on this trip so it was hard for me to narrow down what we did talk about. Also when you think the podcast is over we give you a encore on how the show went!

I dive deep into things I have no business in talking about…the multiverse! Mandela effects prove my point! All these songs about growing up and I still did it! Drink some more water it’s only 110 calories! We are savages and will always be!

My generations attention to detail is wild. What will they have us consume next?! Getting famous reciting lyrics is how you become famous and also having drakes next kid. Amber and Johnny trial is really shitting the bed.