Zero Credit(s)

Ext. Morning, cloudy. Charles Dance sits at a table in the courtyard of a brutalist skyscraper. He watches a couple meet and hug, as though they haven’t seen each other in quite some time. He is not moved by their reunion, despite his piqued interest. The couple moves to leave the courtyard and he stands up from the table. Maybe he’s interested in where they’re going. Maybe he ca...

It’s finally time for the first episode of 2018. But first, EMERGENCY ALERT ZERO CREDIT(S) EPISODE THREAT INBOUND TO YOUR EARS. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Henry and John are back at full capacity to discuss all the things they missed in the past two weeks. What Henry thought might be a quick introduction to 2018 segment soon overtakes the entire G.D. episode as they discuss...

With last week’s Less Than Zero done, it’s finally time for the first episode of Zero Credit(s) of 2018. But first, here’s a Supplemental Reading on Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi from your favorite hosts Henry and John. The boys come at this movie from conflicting angles to determine what’s the deal with everyone’s reaction to the next installment in this timeles...

John’s out due to adjusting to his work schedule, so Jamie’s back to brighten up the podcast and tell us everything she knows about plumbing. She insisted I let you know, Dear Listener, that she was already in her warm pajamas when Henry asked her to fill in for John at the last second, and she had to go out into the cold in order to get to the Zero Credit(s) Studio (apartment). Meanwh...

Let’s end this year right, Dear Listeners, by rendering judgement unto all. There is no sanctuary from judgement. All shall feel the light of the side eye cast on them. The unjust and just dab alike on this day. Let us take a walk through this year’s 10 special categories that represent the year as a whole. What was the best movie? The worst moment of our collective cultural experience...

Welcome to normal day podcast. We talk about all of your favorite segments. The olympics get spooky terrors. We then briefly reveal where henry talks about horror games featuring music by the semi honored classic simulation fire. This change in atmosphere fuels our discussion of the best content known to exist offline, listeners, and that is happiness within oneself. John talks about centralized p...

It’s that time again, listeners. Henry and John are firing up the Best/Worst machine by generating this year’s categories. Before that, though, H-Man & J-Ohn still haven’t quite shaken this most recent bout of Austin Bit Sickness, but they attempt to press on regardless. What’s the underlying narrative formula of Dragon Ball Z? The Boys sure as heck try to find out during an impromptu segment...

This is a formal warning that this episodes contains spoilers for the hit Netflix series Stranger Things, specifically in relation to the second season of the aforementioned show in its entirety. It is recommended that if you, Party B, have not watched the entirety of the second season of the aforementioned show, hereby referred to as Strangy Tings, then you, Party B, should not download or listen...

You’ve been waiting for it, listeners. And it’s here. It’s finally, finally here. Henry and John are in the same geographic location and it is GETTING HOG CRAZY IN HERE. A manic spirit has inhabited the body of John, and that spirit (you guessed it) is the Spirit of Adventure. Now, free from the bindings of anonymity, Henry and John openly discuss their city of residence. Does that mean you can ma...

It’s Coolsgiving again, Dear Listeners, and that means it’s time to settle once and for all who it is we pledge our Cool Thanks to on this gracious occasion. Henry and John Dive into the debate of a Thankful-themed holiday lifetime to hash out who is deserving of our Cool Thanks. With so much horribleness in the world in terms of people who deserve our praise and worship, the boys thou...

Henry and John are back! After a week’s hiatus, the boys return with unmistakable vim and vigor and maybe vinegar. In an effort to inject some much-needed cash into the podcast, Henry and John go all-in on a new tiered microtransaction scheme only for it to all go to pot when they realize it’s a thinly veiled scam. Rats! The intent was to provide podcast listeners with a sense of pride and a...

After a long, fright-filled month of spooky terrors, the ZC Boys are back with some regular ole, but still Good, Content. Trevor may have mysteriously vanished but the podcast rolls on, as Henry and John discuss what they’re doing in the podcast and why they’re doing it while they’re doing it in a State of the Podcast segment that answers all your deep, burning questions. John th...

WELCOME TO EPISODE 4 OF THE FRIGHTENTIMES / EPISODE 5 COMING SOON / EPISODE 6 FOLLOWS / AND FOREVER ON / WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF / DO YOU EVER GET ANXIOUS / EMAIL US / IF YOU REALLY HAD TO DO IT WHO WOULD YOU HURT FIRST / JOIN THE CONVERSATION RATE COMMENT SUBSCRIBE / EVERY TIME YOU SLEEP YOU DIE / WHEN YOU WAKE UP YOU ARE BORN AGAIN / AN ANIMAL WILL LET YOU KNOW IF IT IS BEING HURT / DO YOUR FEARS...

Just a little bit further now, I promise. We’ve come so far into the abyss, haven’t we? I doubt we’ll be able to return the same, go back to what we once were. The things we’ve seen change a person. I’ve tried to shield you from most of it. I wonder if you appreciate my…sacrifice. No longer am I the mild-mannered podcast episode description writer I once was. I...

We had all asked them to stop. Made them aware of the dangers. They didn’t listen. They continued unabated into the darkness, seeking the truth that hides within it. They’ve opened the door, and it’s up to us to close it. I understand your hesitation and wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to come with me, but someone has to stop the Frightentimes. The infection has to be cured at its source, an...

It’s here. I tried to warn you, but what could we do? Henry and John have gone too far into the abyss and now they’re bringing it back with them as they return from their twisted journeys. Sure, they say they cover the cultural happenings of our current times in order to observe the Zeitgeist, but the sinister truth is far more distorted and vile than you can imagine. I’ve said t...

John’s back on his philosophy BS this week, as the boys discuss– Wait. Did you hear that? I guess it’s nothing. Yeah. Ok. Um. Anyway, John has been reading some French stuff about loneliness or whatever, so Henry– Ok I definitely heard something that time. Like… A whining noise maybe. One second. … It must be the plumbing. Or. Or something. So Henry and John talk about the artist...

Well, Dear Listeners, we’re closing in fast on the last few weeks of September, the last few weeks of safety. This week, Henry and John discuss a lot of dark, dreary stuff, but it’s nothing compared to what’s coming. Recent earthquakes in Mexico, being more mindful in how you choose to spend your money, the Emmy’s. These are a few of the things they talk about, but believe...

Let’s just put this up front: you GOTTA care about this Equifax thing. I’m in serious trouble if Henry and John find out I’m not weaving this into a mirthsome episode description, but you GOTTA take steps to prevent your identity being stolen. Even if you’re just giving this podcast the ole 71 Try and you’ve seen this description before you start listening, delay your podcast listening session and...

Listeners, it’s time we had a little talk. As the official description writer of the Zero Credit(s) episodes, I feel it’s my place to warn you that this episode has a level of spookiness that, frankly, makes me uncomfortable. I am not a cowardly man or woman by any means, but this episode sent chills down my spine. Creepy happenings at fast food restaurants. Possibly satirical pop/rock...

I don’t know what I’ve been told, Henry’s getting pretty old. Sound off. One, two. Howdy, Fashionistros and Fashionettes, to this comma-laden episode of Zero Credit(s). Henry, and John, like, discuss the warm glow altruism of birthday well-wishing, and subsequently devise the greatest birthday gaslighting campaign of the century. John, then, gripes about how fashion is expensive and how he’ll neve...

Tonight we have a nice four course content meal, starting with a nice roasted Taste Testing of Coke’s new product in which Henry and John discover something new about themselves and the world. We then have a tossed Total Solar Eclipse salad, a light shared experience for the whole continent. We then move on to our main course, a char broiled TAYLOR SWIFT IS A SNAKE GODDESS AND WE HAVE THE EV...

The staff of the Zero Credit(s) offices would like to inform our listeners that the unthinkable has occurred: Henry and John have had to record an episode denouncing Nazism. One would have seemed wise to assume that there would never be a time in which two amateur podcast hosts would be duty-bound to publicly come out against Nazis. Oh and also murderers. But, like. Here we are now I guess. The bo...

Listeners, it’s time to join Henry and John on their mission to bring to light information that those who hold the power do not want us to know. The powers that be have information they don’t want to get out, but thanks to our super sleuthing s-hosts, everyone will know that you shouldn’t spoil things if you’re a media journalist. Just don’t do it. Stop. Henry’s...

“Listen. This is a podcast? Who leaked that to you? Let me tell you one thing. I have three to four podcast hosts I’m going to fire tomorrow. I’ll get to the person who leaked that to you. Henry? Henry — if you want to leak something — is going to be asked to resign very soon. I’m not John. I’m not trying to host my own segments. I’m not trying to build my own brand off the strength of the podcast...