Untitled Star Trek Project

Star Trek: The Original Series, Series 3, Episode 12. First broadcast on Friday 6 December 1968. Stardate: 5121.5. A series of urgent production catastrophes this week, as we arrive at Paramount Studios with no set, no lines for our female guest star, and a script with no story and no plot. Can these omnipotent bum-headed aliens help us out?

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 4, Episode 21. First broadcast on Monday 29 April 1991. Stardate: 44769.2. This week, Jean Simmons strides imperiously onto the Enterprise bridge, accompanied by her executive assistant, her scary stenographer, her daddy issues, and a terrifying sense of self-righteous rage. Unmissable.

Star Trek: Enterprise, Series 3, Episode 23. First broadcast on Wednesday 19 May 2004. Stardate: Unknown (2154). It’s the second last episode of the Xindi arc, which can only mean one thing: a big, dumb spectacle in which we’re all trying to prevent a bunch of lizards wearing slinkies from hurling a massive lethal wiffle ball into planet Earth. Fortunately, Connor, Jolene and Billingsley are here...

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 6, Episode 7. First broadcast on Monday 10 November 1997. Stardate: 51247.5. This week, Worf and Jadzia celebrate the triumphant 150th episode of Untitled Star Trek Project by setting a date for their wedding, holding one fun party and one excruciating one, punching a future mother-in-law in the face, calling off the wedding, calling it back on again, and having...

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 1, Episode 26. First broadcast on Monday 16 May 1988. Stardate: 41986.0. This week, Joe and Nathan are woken from 380 years of cryosleep to discover that the world has changed forever: the ship’s captain isn’t friendly and welcoming like Captain Stubing, some of their ports of call have been scooped in their entirety off the surface of the planet, and those p...

Star Trek: Voyager, Series 1, Episode 16. First broadcast on Monday 22 May 1995. Stardate: 48846.5. Two B-plots on Star Trek: Voyager this week, each one more forgettable than the other. In the A B-plot, Tuvok is unreasonably mean to four obnoxious misfits, while the B B-plot is somehow about cheese.

Star Trek: Discovery, Series 2, Episodes 13–14. First broadcast on Thursday 11 April 2019 and Thursday 18 April 2019. Stardate: 1050.8. The whole of Discovery Series 2 has been leading to this: a baffling and possibly ill-advised decision to catapult the show 930 years into the future. (Spoiler: it turns out better than we could have dared to imagine.) On the way though, we get to experience breat...

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 5, Episode 6. First broadcast on Monday 28 October 1991. Stardate: 45208.2. This week, it’s The One Where the Entire Crew is Taken over by an Orgasmatronic Video Game. Oh, and Wesley’s back as well. It’s Star Trek, at the very top of its (don’t say it) Game.

Star Trek: Lower Decks, Series 5, Episode 2. First broadcast on Thursday 24 October 2024. Stardate: 59376.9. Everyone learns a valuable lesson this week: Boimler learns about the perks and perils of being the fun boss, Tendi learns what it takes to be a kick-ass swashbuckling aunt, and T’Lyn learns why, how and how much Rutherford and Tendi love each other. Even the gardener bot gets a little arc....

Star Trek: Voyager, Series 6, Episode 25. First broadcast on Wednesday 17 May 2000. Stardate: Unknown (2376). This week, Star Trek remembers that its two most important jobs are scaring children and giving us hope for the future. It doesn’t do either of these particularly well in The Haunting of Deck Twelve, but the whole thing is fun and confident enough to entertain us for forty-five minutes. An...

Star Trek: Enterprise, Series 2, Episode 3. First broadcast on Wednesday 2 October 2002. Stardate: Unknown (2152). A change of pace for Star Trek this week, as the writers of Enterprise decide to explore the rightly-neglected relationship between Captain Archer and his completely featureless Armory Officer, Malcolm Reed. As so often happens, people get strapped to a bomb, Romulans utter muscular t...

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 6, Episode 24. First broadcast on Wednesday 20 May 1998. Stardate: Unknown (2374). This week, Miles and Keiko struggle to work out how to react when their daughter ruins a perfectly pleasant family picnic by plummeting accidentally into an high-concept science fiction premise. Meanwhile, back on the station, their son falls foul of a sudden sitcom outbreak, bangi...

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 3, Episode 4. First broadcast on Monday 16 October 1989. Stardate: 43173.5. – You see, my people once lived in caves. And then we learned to build huts and, in time, to build ships like this one. – Perhaps one day, my people will travel above the skies. – Of that, I have absolutely no doubt. Top-tier Star Trek this week, as The Next Generation belatedly hits...

Star Trek: Voyager, Series 2, Episode 11. First broadcast on Monday 20 November 1995. Stardate: 49208.5. And Seska is back! Everyone’s favourite Bajoran Maquis Cardassian traitress returns — with a daring plan to unite the Kazon sects, or to destroy Voyager, or to capture Chakotay and collect a couple of teaspoonfuls of his DNA. Ahem. Anyway, at least Joe and Nathan get the chance to reminisce abo...

Star Trek: The Original Series, Series 3, Episode 20. First broadcast on Friday 21 February 1969. Stardate: 5832.3. This week, we learn a valuable lesson previously only known to the most tedious middle-aged people: that young people these days are arrogant, embarassing, and stupid — and also probably communists. Meanwhile, the crew of the Enterprise have all forgotten to remove their “Nixon’s the...

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 1, Episode 10. First broadcast on Sunday 14 March 1993. Stardate: Unknown (2369). This week, we travel back to a time in the distant past aboard Deep Space Nine, a time before anyone has worked out how the show should be played, written or directed. There’s some fun to be had, of course, but not from watching this episode.

Star Trek Movie #8. Release date: 1996.Stardate: . After a botched first attempt back in 1994, the Star Trek movie franchise brings back many of the beloved characters from Star Trek: The Next Generation in a thrilling adventure, packed full of action, scares and laughs — as well as some sexy moments with an undead cyborg lizard and an optimistic message about the future of humanity. Five stars, r...

Star Trek: Picard, Series 1, Episode 4. First broadcast on Thursday 13 February 2020. Stardate: Unknown (2399). It’s been thirty-five years since the Romulans turned up again out of the blue, but now we couldn’t imagine a day without them. And so many of them! Narek and Narissa, two English Romulan Game of Thrones fans who are trying to kill Data’s (remaining) daughter. Zani, a stunningly calm and...

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 5, Episode 20. First broadcast on Monday 21 April 1997. Stardate: Unknown (2373). Again, the story doesn’t really have a legitimate theme, it’s just More Ferengi Farce, but without any solid laughs. In fact, I’d put “Ferengi Love Songs” on or near the bottom of the Ferengi episode list. Jamahl Epsicokhan, Jammer’s Reviews It’s all pretty trivial and unamusing. Th...

Star Trek: Enterprise, Series 3, Episode 18. First broadcast on Wednesday 3 March 2004. Stardate: Unknown (2154). This week, the Xindi and some big-ass lizard guy get to beat the crap out of (a) Enterprise and (b) Captain Archer, respectively. Meanwhile, Nathan and Joe are delighted, not because they’re mean (although they are), but because this is such a thoroughly entertaining hour of Star Trek:...

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 4, Episode 17. First broadcast on Saturday 24 February 1996. Stardate: Unknown (2372). This week, Miles and Julian learn about larping and friendship, Kira learns about clay and the inevitability of authoritarian male religious figures, and we learn about subtext and delightful character development — all thanks to Jane Espenson, who, it turns out, is the real he...

Star Trek: The Animated Series, Series 1, Episode 6. First broadcast on Saturday 13 October 1973. Stardate: 5143.3. This week, crudely-drawn slow-moving simulacra of the Enterprise crew interact listlessly in a crudely-drawn slow-moving simulacrum of Star Trek. Except for the shapeshifting red octopus, which is awesome. Meanwhile, Joe drops £2.50 renting a Star Trek episode whose budget was nearly...

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Series 6, Episode 3. First broadcast on Monday 5 October 1992. Stardate: 46071.6. It’s an outstandingly stupid episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation this week, except for the astonishingly brilliant idea of giving Marina fun things to do and a range of fabulously fun things to wear. Actually, let me start that again. It’s an astonishingly brilliant episode of St...

Star Trek: Prodigy, Series 1, Episodes 19–20. First broadcast on Thursday 22 December 2022 and Thursday 29 December 2022. Stardate: Unknown (2384). You may think you need me to get there, but after seeing everything you’ve accomplished, I have full confidence you’ll find your way. Because together your potential is infinite. Now, go boldly. This week, the crew of the USS Protostar save the Galaxy...

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Series 6, Episode 20. First broadcast on Wednesday 22 April 1998. Stardate: Unknown (2374). Fly me to the moon Let me trek among the stars Let me taste the cocktails In some holographic bars In other words, please be true In other words, I love you