Ton's Kitchen: After Hours

Me and the Acid Queen shared a trip, before heading off in search of a party. Not sure if the guy who gave us a lift was real, or a figmentof my acid tripping imagination, but we both saw him. He was the weirdest dude I'd ever met... An old hippy gun runner, who had lost his way, waving around a machete. Looking back,we may have lost our minds that night, but we were lucky not to have lost our...

The first time I met her old man, I thought he was going to do me in and bury me in a shallow grave. Being the Acid Queen's younger boyfriend alsocame with some friction from a jealous bloke. She was fun to be with, and we had some wild times together. Then something happened that made me feel like I couldn'ttrust her...

A few days into my homeless situation, I had a chance meeting with an interesting and somewhat sexy woman. My mate warned me to be careful, she was a wild one, and her nickname was The Acid Queen... But I ignored the warning, and followed my dick down that unknown path...

After the threat of decapitation, I escaped my insane father and found sanctuary at a mate's place. Only to be evicted a few days later, resulting in my mate's whole family joining me in homelessness. Like a troll living under the bridge, we got by with a little help from our friends, and some donations, under pressure, from complete strangers. Risking my life to bring a bounty of beer to...

After disastrous outcomes working at supermarkets in the past, I thought I'd give them one more shot. Landing in the garden section was a good thing, it was pretty chill in there and we weren't under management's constant surveillance like in the main store. I discovered Kumquats for the first time. The name amused me, I thought it sounded a bit erotic... I tried my luck with the check...

It's hard to believe that I didn't know my real name until I was in my late 20s. The reason... Patriotism? Racism? I'm still not sure, but Iwas gobsmacked when I found out... On top of that, I've had a fewdifferent nicknames, and a crazy alias that was even used in a courtroom... It might make your head spin, but I hope it helps you to see things more clearly as I take you on the u...

This bit made me bitter as I went back in time to a memory of when I felt like an insect being tortured by an evil bastard... I escaped one toxic environment, only to end up in an even worse one, thanks to a nasty, sadistic piece of shit bloke who, for some reason, hated my guts. There were a few times when he could have killed me, but he didn't care. He would have labelled it as a tragic acci...

This one is all over the place, with bank robberies, break & enters, outlaw biker conflict, garbage can cabaret, spews galore, and the age old question: does pineapple belong on pizza?

On the day of my 16th birthday, my brother Vic, AKA Saddles, decided to spend the day with me. I was looking forward to spending some quality time with him, working as his sidekick and earning a little pocket money. However, as was the norm for me, fate had other plans... After a rocky start, the day was starting to show promise, with us going on a road trip with two hot girls... one of them a gir...

By chance I ran into the girl who gave me the free McDonald's feast months beforehand. We started going out together and things were pretty good for a while, I even thought a fantasy that I had was going to become a reality. Then one day we met with a so-called friend from my past. He treated us well at first, but in the end, betrayal burnt more than one bridge...

After5 months of false imprisonment doing hard labor, I finally escaped the shackles and returned to the streets of Penrith. From hanging out at a dark, dingy pool hall, to smoking weed under palm trees like I was in paradise. This was the start of a new road with new beginnings. One of those roads led to a job in a Toy Department, but as usual,the wheels fell off, and I hit a brick wall...

The 4th and final bit of when I was sucked in to voluntarilyentering a cult type of rehabilitation nightmare. I finally escaped, but it had scared me for life.

With minimal sleep, meals you wouldn’t feed a dog, endless work, and daily mental abuse, we were trapped in a living Hell. Some of our minders relieved stress by torturing the weak. They broke some of us. Me… damaged but never broken.

This is part two of a four-part story about how I was talked into voluntarily entering what I believed was a countryside holiday retreat... only to find myself trapped in a place that felt worse than prison. In this part, I realized I was trapped inside a nightmare that I couldn't wake from. Verbal and mental abuse were part of the daily routine. I was dead set on getting out of there,until I...

Welcome to The Misadventures of Jimmy Head. This is Part One of a four-part story about how I was talked into voluntarily entering what I believed was a countryside holiday retreat... only to find myself trapped in a place worse than prison. It's the darkest memory of my life, and it has haunted me ever since. They told me I'd never forget what happened there. They were right...

This is the final episode of Season 2. Finally, I could leave school and join the workforce. As usual, life had other plans, and I got a first-hand look at just how unfair the workplace could be. When all my plans backfired, I returned to Heartless High for one final kick in the guts.

Having grown up amongst a gang culture, I understood the importance of loyalty. I knew we were just a bunch of kids who no one respected... until the day I'd taken more shit than I could handle and finally blew my top. For the first time in my life, I felt like I'd earned a little respect. Especially from a teacher who looked like he'd dragged himself off the streets to become a respec...

In this episode, I head across town to hang out with a loose gang of local kids known as The Parkies. What starts as another summer of booze fuelled teenage adventures soon introduces me to a cast of misfits who knew how to have a good time... and occasionally a good punch-up. From an embarrassing pool-party disaster to a gate-crashed birthday party that exploded into violence, to a wild, drug-haz...

My brother found the love of his life... and I thought I'd found mine. I was only twelve when I fell for a shy little girl named Kim. She gave me a necklace with her name on it, and I wore it like it was the most precious thing in the world. When I lost it on a beach at The Entrance, I searched for hours, convinced that if I couldn't find it, I'd lose her too. This is the story of firs...

Growing up painfully shy, I never imagined a cheap CB radio would change my life. After joining my brother Plug's citizen band radio club, I discovered a whole new world of convoys, bonfires, parties, and lifelong memories. But when one drunken act of humiliation destroyed everything the club stood for, I walked away and started my own club for teenagers. For a few years, Midnight Transmitters bec...

Our street in Penrith was a strange place. A Scout Master, a police sergeant, a school headmistress, a family rumoured to be swingers, and a neighbour who probably should never have been trusted with a driver's licence. Then there was my family. In this episode I share stories about the people who lived around us, the trouble my brothers caused, a stubborn old neighbour determined to keep her...

In this episode, I look back on a time when chaos seemed to follow my family everywhere. A housewarming party turns into another drunken disaster, my old man lands himself in hot water chasing women, and my brother Plug introduces me to the fine art of wagging school with forged sick notes. What starts as a taste of freedom soon spirals into booze, bad decisions, humiliation, and a very angry visi...

BONUS STORY: Corporal Punishment For those of you still hanging around after Flaming Karma, here's an extra story from Heartless High. This one starts with my brother Vic, a joint, a trip to vote for the first time, and a cap gun that probably should've landed us both in serious trouble. It ends with one of the most feared teachers at my high school, a brutal dose of corporal punishment, a...

Growing up in Western Sydney, home wasn't always a safe place. But hidden beside the family house was a quiet sanctuary where I could escape the chaos and think. Then one day, one of my brothers committed an act of cruelty that would stay with me for decades. Later, an unexpected accident brought those memories flooding back and left me wondering whether karma might actually exist. A darkly fu...

Season 2 begins. Jim arrives at Heartless High carrying the baggage of his Sharpie family name, only to be humiliated, renamed “Zim,” and thrown headfirst into the brutal social tribes of Australian high school life in the 1970s. From bike shed smokers and hockey field attacks… to misfits, rebels, and the first signs of belonging among society’s outcasts — this episode marks the beginning of a dar...