The Greatest Generation

When the most kick-ass season of Enterprise starts in WWII for some reason, Captain Archer gets kidnapped by gangsters and Silik is back to slinking around on the ship. But after toxic sludge Daniels stumbles into sicksbay and dies, Archer returns to figure out exactly who needs to be stopped. What can be expected from any trip to the post office? Which room is next to the crying room and breastfe...

When Captain Archer leads a dustbuster club onto the Xindi weapon, Tucker and T’Pol stay aboard the Entrepreneur to destroy the network of spheres. But after the Guardians serve up too much space queso and an old friend arrives to help, Archer blows up the weapon and disappears into a new story arc. Which siren song isn’t that hard to resist? Who knows how to party like Klingon warriors? When is i...

When Hoshi wakes up in the A story with Dolim forcing her to decipher launch codes, Captain Archer convinces the mammalian Xindi to let him plead his case to the Aquatics. But after they agree to help and get their fish tanks blown up, a boarding party on its way to the weapon is the Entrepreneur’s last hope to save Earth. Why is the population of Portland so manageable? What is exactly the same a...

When Captain Archer and Degra bring convincing evidence to the council, Dolim starts colluding with a Sphere Maker to steal the weapon and go rogue. But after Commander Tucker finally forgives Degra and Dolim gets his rewenge, the away team returns to the ship with more data on the spheres. Where is the Sword of Xindi Arcocles hanging? Will Ben enjoy Fireball? What natural resource did the Xindi f...

When the Entrepreneur meets a way more fucked-up version of itself, a bunch of the crew’s offspring come aboard to explain why they can’t go through the corridor to meet Degra. But after Lorian gets desperate and Karyn has to talk him down, the T’Pols convince Captain Archer that an alternate route can get them there early. What’s the payoff for a long-term barber relationship? Who does Sarek owe...

When Archer is pushing hard to meet Degra on time, Trip struggles with his grief as repairs continue on the Entrepreneur. But after Jannar asks for more proof and Degra blows up a reptilian ship, Archer gets invited to speak to the council if he can make it through the nebula in one piece. In what specific way is Crewman Taylor in a better place? Which hobby does Trip use the bronze scuba suit for...

When a crescendo of bangers suddenly gets called off, the Xindi council is in disarray and decides to return Archer to the NX-01. But after another damaged ship asks for assistance, an even Darker Archer decides to rob them instead. Where is the fun part of a Rick Caruso development? What could have been a top-three visual in the entire series? Who’s the Guinan of this show? It’s the episode where...

When the Entrepreneur arrives at Azati Prime, Captain Archer goes deep on a suicide mission to destroy the Xindi weapon. But after a visit from Daniels and an unsuccessful attempt to die, Archer drives a wedge between the council as the reptilians bring the NX-01 to its knees. What’s the least dangerous thing a Star Trek podcaster could do? How could Insectoids sweep through Earth’s population the...

When the Entrepreneur pulls up on LV-426, the crashed ship on the surface does indeed have alien eggs aboard. But after one of them blasts in Archer’s face without asking, he becomes more and more willing to sacrifice the mission for his personal obsession with saving the children. How many Xenomorphs would it take to conquer Earth? What’s never an accident? Do baby Insectoids have a favorite food...

When there’s more unstable space queso on their path to Azati Prime, the crew has to go into stasis while Dr. Phlox looks after the ship. But after he starts hearing things and hallucinating Swedish ghosts, he almost kills Commander Tucker before finishing the mission all on his own. What’s different about dog walking in the future? Whose face is left-most on Mount Footmore? How is Trip like a lon...

When the Entrepreneur happens upon some expanding space queso, they rescue an alien pod and find a hotboxing party guy inside. But after various types of tension start boiling over on the ship, the new mystery alien disappears with a vaguely Xindi threat. Where are there no rules about having a crock pot? Which kind of alien never gets considered on Star Trek? What has Dark Archer started calling...

When the Entrepreneur captures Degra and sets up an elaborate ruse, Captain Archer starts to gain his trust to extract more information about the weapon’s construction. But after getting wise to his circumstances and losing in close combat to Archer, Degra’s memory is wiped again after a risky double Barashing. What’s the only thing that foretells a ninja hippy? Where is it ok to have nine girlfri...

When Shran rescues the Entrepreneur from a foamy green anomaly, his crew comes aboard to help with repairs while another Xindi weapon test gets underway. But after a disappointing result for Degra and a double-cross by the Andorians, Captain Archer wins the game of chicken and gets a mysterious message from a mission sympathizer. Which character can any freelancer sympathize with? When is it hard...

When the Entrepreneur picks up a distress signal from a ship full of alien peepers, Captain Archer offers them a tour and puts everyone in position to hijack the ship. But after Archer plays dead in the transporter alcove, simple D’Jamat realizes he did a bad job at jacking. Which sport did Hoshi switch over to? What’s left over in the crematorium? Who’s not playing by Sid Meier rules? It’s the ep...

When the Xindi turn up in Detroit for a bottle episode, Agent Daniels sends Captain Archer and T’Pol on a time-travel mission. But after they shake down Loomis for info on the blood bank, Archer plans his attack from inside the warehouse. Which hypothetical dessert do we need Adam Ragusea’s comment on? What did Rockin' Ricky Rialto ruin forever? Who’s into blood play? It’s the episode that strains...

When Trip’s funeral kicks off the cold open, we go back in time to learn about the accident that caused Dr. Phlox to suggest an unorthodox procedure to save his life with some new brains. But after the symbiote they’ve created starts looking for solutions to keep living, hard dark Archer insists that he’s willing to kill him to complete the mission. What’s the shitty thing about having a business?...

When the Entrepreneur finds an old west play set in the middle of the Delphic Expanse, the away team raids the costume drawer and heads down just in time to see a maybe alien get lynched. But after they learn the history of the humans and the Skagarans on this planet, Captain Archer encourages the Sheriff to make some new laws before they pick them back up. Why is Marc Maron actually retiring? Wha...

When Archer wakes up and doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, T’Pol gets to be captain as the Xindi weapon cruises towards Earth. But after Phlox finally finds a cure for Memento disease, T’Pol dodges the caretaker bullet when Archer resets the timeline. What does a Xindi planet-killing weapon never come with? Who gets darker than dark Archer? Why does Ben have bugs in the studio? It’s the epis...

When Captain Archer leads an away team to a Xindi refinery planet, they meet an Arboreal who likes to drink alone and agrees to help them avoid another attack. But after Trip almost blows up the damn ship, Archer tip-of-the-spears a tracker into one of Degra‘s canisters of kemocite. Who sleeps in a full suit? Where do we need more motion lights? What does civil war do? It’s the episode with Gralik...

When Hoshi gets a telepathic cold call, her new suitor offers to help Captain Archer’s pursuit of the Xindi as long as Hoshi stays over at his creepy castle. But after she reluctantly agrees and finds he can’t take no for an answer, she has to threaten his crystal to get back to the NX-01. Which button shows true desperation? What’s the worst Star Trek food we’ve ever seen? Should Hoshi have just...

When the Entrepreneur picks up a distress call from a Vulcan ship, a severely under-resourced away team heads over in a shuttlepod. But when T’Pol starts showing paranoid symptoms and her former colleagues are beyond help, Archer and Tucker barely get their only two shuttlepods back to the NX-01. Who isn’t going commando? Which crew member is like a licorice jellybean? What does this show really l...

When the Entrepreneur shows up at a seasteading planet, Archer goes looking for Xindi but finds a top-shelf babe who wants to escape the slave trade. But after she comes aboard and starts giving the crew hand jobs, two Xindi ships arrive to collect her and her data. Who is leech curious? Which spice wasn’t included in the exchange? What’s the shoestring fries of salads? It’s the episode with some...

When Archer finds a new species of Xindi in the database, he takes a shuttlepod down to the last Sears Garden Center they visited to see what he can learn from their ship. But when the away team starts mutating and goons with flamethrowers show up to contain the infected, Phlox uses T’Pol’s resistance to create an antidote. Which beverage requires trust? What’s more desperate than finger gruel? Wh...

When the Entrepreneur is flying Winnie the Poo style through the expanse, anomalies bring them out of warp near a vessel full of deads. But when they’re boarded and robbed by space pirates, Captain Archer turns his prisoner into a plan to retrieve their booty. Who is going inside out first? What is the Cochran equation? Which two things will get you killed in the Delphic Expanse? It’s the episode...

When the Entrepreneur is six weeks into the expanse, the Captain’s only lead is an unscrupulous foreman with a Xindi miner. But when Archer and Trip get trapped with the prisoner, their sewer-based escape ends tragically at a set of useless coordinates that push them deeper into the expanse. Where’s the fresh content for a Florence Nightingale foot fetish? What could have made Trip’s nightmare bet...