The Deeper Love Podcast: For the Woman Healing After Betraying Someone She Loved

After an affair, so many women become terrified of making the wrong decision. Not just the big decisions, like whether to stay or leave, whether to tell the truth, or whether to try again. But the everyday ones too. What to say. Whether to reach out or pull back. Whether to trust what they feel or second guess it. In this episode, Alex explores why that paralysis happens and what is really sitting...

So many women come into this work already understanding a lot. They know their patterns. They can see what was missing in the marriage. They may even understand how childhood shaped the way they learned to relate, love and abandon themselves. And yet they still wake up feeling heavy. Ashamed. Tight in the chest. Unable to relax. Unable to trust themselves. In this episode, Alex explores why insigh...

Many women tell me the same thing after the affair ends: “I just want to feel like myself again.” And if you’re in the aftermath right now, it can genuinely feel as though the affair is the thing that did this to you. As though the shame began the moment it ended, or the moment the truth came out. But in this episode, I explore something I see again and again with the women I work with (and experi...

There’s a real split I see with so many women post affair. You miss him, and you hate that you miss him. You know he cannot give you the life you ultimately want. You’re trying to repair your primary relationship, trying to be responsible, trying to move forward. And yet, there is still a pull - sometimes overwhelmingly - toward the person who made you feel something you hadn’t felt in a very long...

What if betrayal isn’t just a relationship issue, but a nervous system event? In this episode of The Deeper Love Podcast , I’m joined by hypnotherapist and life coach Peter McLaughlin for a powerful conversation about the subconscious patterns, shame, and trauma responses that sit underneath infidelity. Peter’s own healing journey began after a life-altering leukemia diagnosis in 2003, an experien...

Almost every woman I work with says the same thing: “In the affair, I felt alive.” What’s striking is that she rarely talks about the person. She talks about herself, how she felt. Confident. Desired. Chosen. Awake. And then comes the shame, not just for what she did, but for liking it. In this episode, I explore the possibility that the affair didn’t create aliveness at all. It exposed what was a...

After an affair, there is the rupture itself, and then there is what comes after. The part no one really talks about, the months or years of living inside what you’ve done. The self-surveillance. The guilt. The fear. The loss of who you thought you were. In this episode, I speak honestly about the internal experience of living with the aftermath of my betrayal. The tension in my body, the pain in...

If you've ever found yourself thinking “I've done the therapy, I’ve read the books, I know why it happened… so why do I still feel so stuck?” , this episode is going to meet you right there. In this conversation, I’m unpacking the difference between understanding something and actually feeling different. Because when it comes to betrayal, the healing isn’t just in the mind, it lives in the body. A...

In the aftermath of an affair, shame can become relentless. It tells you that if you punish yourself enough, make yourself disappear, hate yourself more, you’ll finally make things right. That’s how you’ll become trustworthy again and undo the damage, right? But shame doesn’t heal. In fact, it does the opposite. It pulls us deeper into the mud. In this episode, I speak directly to the woman who is...

There are seasons in life where everything feels heavy, grey and lifeless. Where it feels like nothing is going well, nothing is blooming, and nothing makes sense anymore. If you’re in the aftermath of an affair, this is exactly how it can feel. Relationships start to shift. Certainty of the future disappears. And the emotions feel big, hard and bleak. And all you want is for this part to be over....

You can see your patterns. You know your wound. You’ve read the books. You’ve talked, journaled, cried, processed. So why do you still find yourself magnetised toward affairs or people who can’t fully choose you? In this episode, I’m taking you deep into the subconscious patterns that keep us chasing love in all the wrong places, even when we know better .Because insight alone isn’t enough. And if...

When we talk about affairs, the conversation almost always fixates on the affair itself - the morality of it, the damage it causes, and the question of who is to blame. But what if that narrow focus is actually preventing us from seeing something far deeper? In this episode, I explore a truth that many women quietly recognise but rarely feel allowed to say out loud: that an affair is often not abo...

Most women in the aftermath of an affair are carrying a crushing story about themselves: I ruined everything. There must be something wrong with me. I’m broken. But what if the affair wasn’t a moral failure or a character flaw, but a mirror? In this episode, I speak to the deeper truth that so many women never get the space to explore: that long before the affair, many of us were already surviving...

There’s often a moment after an affair when the noise dies down and the adrenaline fades, and instead of relief you’re left with something far more unsettling - a sense that you’re standing in the middle of your life, but you don’t recognise it anymore. In this episode, I go back to New Year’s Eve - one before and one after my affair was revealed, when I did what I’d always done in social spaces a...

Christmas after an affair can feel unbearable. While the world expects joy, gratitude, and togetherness, you may be secretly surviving something that feels anything but festive. The aftermath of an affair has a way of becoming louder at this time of year. There are fewer distractions, more time together, more family gatherings, and an unspoken pressure to be “okay” when you are very much not. In t...

Most women in the aftermath of an affair try to heal alone. Not because they want to, but because shame tells them it’s too embarrassing to be seen. In today’s conversation, I’m joined by my close friend and fellow coach, Lucy Maeve. We talk about why healing on your own can only take you so far, and why women who have been betrayed someone they love need a community who support them as they navig...

Most women in the aftermath of an affair are drowning in questions they are struggling to find answers for: “Why did it feel so intense?” “Why did it make me feel so alive?” “Why did everything else in my life feel flat?” “Does this mean I’m broken or a bad person?” “Does this mean I should leave my partner?” In this episode, I speak directly to the secret most women who’ve cheated will never unco...

Most women believe their affair means they’ve destroyed their chance at love. But what if the moment everything fell apart was actually the moment your life cracked open? What if it was the doorway into the deepest love you’ve ever known? In today’s episode, I share the truth I wish someone had told me years ago - that deep love isn’t effortless or pretty. It asks more of you. It requires honesty,...

You told the truth, or maybe the truth came out. Either way, you’re in the fallout now. The shame is heavy. The guilt feels constant. And there’s a part of you wondering if you’re ever going to feel okay again. I made this episode for you. For the woman sitting in the rubble of her relationship, still trying to breathe while the world she built is burning. In this solo episode, I share the messy,...

In this episode, I sat down with women’s coach Diera Story , who, like me, had an affair that changed everything. We talk about what really sits beneath infidelity when you’re the woman who was supposed to have it all together. How shame begins long before the betrayal. And how losing everything becomes the moment you finally start to become yourself. Diera shares how early motherhood cracked her...

I remember sitting in front of my therapist, six months after my marriage ended, tears running down my face - “What if no one ever loves me again?” At that point, I’d been through a divorce, I’d cheated on my husband, and I’d made a mess of dating after it all. I felt broken, like damaged goods. And underneath that was the deeper fear: that maybe I was unlovable. In this episode, I share the real...

Six and a half years ago, I was carrying a secret that felt absolutely terrifying to say out loud. I was so scared that anyone would find out about my affair - I felt ashamed, sick with guilt, hiding behind the version of me that looked “fine.” Today, that same story has been printed across a double-page spread in The Daily Mail . And it proves to me, once and for all, that shame no longer runs my...

When I cheated on my husband, I didn’t just lose him, I lost my friends too. For years, those friendships had felt like family. We spent birthdays, weddings, holidays together - I thought they’d be there for life. But when my marriage ended, it all changed. Some drifted. Others ended overnight. And the loneliness that followed was unlike anything I’d ever felt. In this episode, I talk about what r...

This week I had the pleasure of meeting Kristina Joy - a devoted Christian wife and mother, until the secret she carried for seven years forced her to face everything she believed about love, faith, and herself. In this conversation, Kristina shares the story she once swore she’d never say out loud, the affair that became both her deepest shame and her greatest awakening. We speak about the loneli...

Ep 11 — The Phoenix Rising: When the Affair Becomes Your Awakening We think the affair is the end. The end of love. The end of trust. The end of who we thought we were. But what if it’s not the end at all? What if it’s the moment you finally wake up? Before my affair, I was sleepwalking through life. On the treadmill of doing everything “right” - the job, the marriage, the house, the plan. Smiling...