The Brothers Deeney

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE!!!Two young(ish) lads are bursting out of a podcasting cake covered in icing and delusion. Love them or hate them, birthdays happen to us all annually and bring with them a cavalcade of emotions. Joe ponders on a 2000s nu-metal band, and Conal wins the lottery. A bit. Patreon:patreon.com/bookofnowtWebsite:bookofnowt.com Support the show

You heard it through the grapevine that Joe and Conal are at it again with another podcast. Joe talks about his trip to DetroitConal talks about his trip to Lourdesand we hear from Ben Fogle and Matt Baker once againPatreon:patreon.com/bookofnowtWebsite:bookofnowt.com Support the show

Schooooool's out for pandemic. With schools reopening in the foreseeable weeks, we thought it germaine to talk about the best years of the most boring people's lives: school. Joe gets mad at how horrible it all was and, as ever, Conal tells a story about a poo. Patreon:patreon.com/bookofnowtWebsite:bookofnowt.com Support the show

Weird one, this. Joe and Conal are in a van going to London on the prettiest highway in all of Christendom: the M1. Joe's going to move out of his house. It's sad. Motorways are ugly as sin and no mistake. Grey, concrete, and miserable. But the thing about utilitarian things is their utility, and our motorways are, at least, functional. Listen if you like improvised rubbish about nothing...

Watergate. Vietnam. The election of Margaret Thatcher. The end of the Beatles. These are just some of the reasons the 70s were rubbish. However it's also the decade that gave us David Bowie, Jaws, and teenagers that look 55 years old. Conal's on form in this one. Buy it! Hand on... it's free. Patreon:patreon.com/bookofnowtWebsite:bookofnowt.com Support the show

Tonight's the night. Yep, we're throwing rose petals beside the hearth and chilling the champagne. That's right, Conal and Joe squirm their way through an hour of awkward insight and anecdote around all things sex. This is like Madonna releasing that book in the 90s... except we're really embarrassed about it. Conal tells the most candid one night stand story. It's worth i...

What will the neighbours say? It's a Girls Aloud episode. FINALLY! Kimberley, Cheryl, Nadine, Nicola, and Sarah Harding. Were they just another shitty girl group churning out manufactured dirge for the sake of a grotty music industry? No. They're really good. Not messing about, this is the best one we've done, I reckon. Conal's really funny and Joe is just as, if not a little b...

Pass the podcast pan the left hand side, it's the Book of Nowt telling it like it isn't for another hour of rambly nonsense on a topic somewhat more controversial than previous: an illicit drug. Love it or loathe it, weed is here to stay. they even do a bit of it in Lord of the Rings. Not sure why. Is it any good? Should it be legal? Is the culture surrounding it really annoying? We were...

Dinosaurs are brilliant. You won't hear any argument on this podcast. 200 million years of mysterious history covered in under an hour's charming chatter? Is that even possible? We kind of get away with it. Joe sings a lovely song for our lovely Patreon supporters too. Patreon:patreon.com/bookofnowtWebsite:bookofnowt.com Support the show

If you thought we wouldn't do an episode on Sean "we come off together that time" Bean, then you don't know us at all. He's been in it all, this lad: Lord of the Rings, Games of Thrones, adverts for Yorkshire Tea. Sharpe as well. We think he's a reet nahce lad, we hope you do too. We also have a new improvised sitcom to share with everyone. It;s better than it sounds....

Here's an offer you can't refuse: a free funny podcast. Funny how? Funny like a clown? Sorry. So many references. The Mafia. The most notorious and (weirdly) adored group of organised criminals in the world. They may be ruthless murderers that cavorted with fascists and made normal people's lives hell, but golly! do they make some brilliant movies. Nice little podcast you've go...

It's 17:59... it's Guinness time. There's an advertising strategy that didn't take off. Conal likes Guinness. Joe doesn't. A lot. Two lads of Irish descent dissect a cornerstone of the nation's culture. Unlike the rest of these experiments, this one is somewhat informed. This podcast is good for you. Good things come to those that listen to this podcast. Why have one...

Did you all get what you wanted? Christmas has come and gone and oh! what a time it was. In this, the last episode of season 2, Joe & Conal talk all about nothing. Think of a popular toy from the 90s... yeah, they talk about it here. We'll be back in about 6 weeks with more piffle. Never change. Happy New Year and enjoy. Support the show

Brace yourself for the silky smooth voice of the best crooner who ever lived... yes thats right.... Conal is doing his conopsis again. Hahaha that was a good joke wasn't it. It was a joke for Christmas. The boys tell the Christmas tale of Nat King Cole and how he really does make Christmas,they also almost talk about the free masons but get scared and they talk about the big issues this week,...

This week its all Munchkins and snowflakes somewhere over a rainbow that doesnt exist, in a strange surreal land with a gay icon in ruby slippers. The boys give their likes and dislikes about the cinema classic and Feargal rears his ugly head. Support the show

Dance magic dance! We like to boogie on a Saturday night. This week, the brothers Deeney talk about something with which they have no expertise. In fact, it's fair to say, these boys are made of left feet. Joe favourite dancer is that Louie Spence fella. Conal's favourite dancer is that Louie Spence fella. I didn't know what to say here this week. Support the show

Back in the studio, Joe and Conal talk about one of their passions in life.... DOGS!the best living thing in the entire world including everyones kids. The boys talk about their own dogs, marking their territory and messing on the carpet.we hear from a dog that doesn't trust it's owner, the elephant man and the little and large ladylisten now. Support the show

Let's go and meet some celebrities! Oh, we have no means of doing that. Alright then, let's go meet some bits of wax in clothes that look like people on the telly! Madame Tussauds is inexplicably popular. For a mere £35 you can walk around a room for 70 minutes looking at shop mannequins. We do something a little different this episode as we take you round Europe's most over-rated a...

The Victorians, ey? A time of colonialism, invention, steam, and children in attics looking at the other children playing outside with their noses pressed against the window. Loads of people look back at the Victorians like they were some kind of supermen in their mills full of maimed children and the cheapest cotton in the north. Being about the height of the British Empire, Fergal's got som...

There are loads of colours in the world but why talk about them all when you could talk about Green... on it's own.... I mean there must be loads to talk about.... oh. We hear from green being dropped from the team, an uncomfortable situation with a difficult poo and loads of science. by Joseph Deeney and Green grocer Conal Deeney Support the show

All animals have them (except the ones who don't), Skeletons make us human separating us from the animals making us have soft penises and them having big old boys. A time teamesque lecture delivered by Joseph Deeney and Dr. Conal Deeney (pot setter)Happy Halloween Support the show

Some people say the Brits have a terrible relationship with food. When they do, I force them to look at the range of crisps in my local Budgens and force them to eat their words. Crisps, potato chips, whatever you call them, these slices of fried potato are absolutely brilliant and Conal and Joe go full tilt in expressing that. Conal chose this episiode. Support the show

Strap in for the greatest saga since Odin and Loki went to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. In this week's episode, the boys talk everything Norse. Horned helmets, plunder, longboats, the lot. They also discus how not Vikings they are, unfortunately. We also hear from Fergal again, he's been dating. Now, we're off to Ragnarok. Support the show

Out on the wiley, Yorkshire moors, is Joe and Conal Deen (ey)Kate Bush is superb and the brothers Deeney need to tell the world. From Wuthering Heights right up to this remastered box set thing that came out recently, Kate hasn't stopped being amazing. If you're reading, Kate, get in touch. We also receive a message from Kimberley Walsh. Because that's the only thing you can expect...

Ahoy my landlubbers, and welcome to the second season of The Book of Nowt. We've been having a mad laugh for a few weeks but are back aboard the the good ship podcast for tale of the high seas and Conal talking endlessly about his holidays. Our brother Fergal also makes a little appearance after he made us promise we wouldn't. Classic bants. Visit our new website bookofnowt.com for more...