The 9pm Edict

The Australian government continues to use the world’s most vulnerable people as political footballs. We discover the ultimate Ayn Rand porn. And Stephen Fry is a patronising racist who should be thrown off television. Not really news, but it’s time people understood. In this episode of the Edict, you’ll also hear why political strategist Mark Textor pisses me off. And I mention this cartoon by Fi...

Margaret Whitlam is dead. Tony Abbott picks up her still-warm corpse and uses it to thump her grieving husband. British comedian Bill Bailey says what I think about classical music. And we top the party goat for Harmony Day. In this episode of the Edict, you’ll hear how Harmony Day is just made up by the Australian government — and you can check out the material at the official website. I’ll intro...

Years ago, a bloke got frustrated at the end of a long day, and swore a bit. And suddenly the entire fucking media in this country is buzzing around this one pissy little story like blowflies to the corpse of a dead horse. Yes, less than two days since I posted episode 18, today’s bullshit reportage on a video in which former prime minister Kevin Rudd swears a few times — shock horror! — and a bun...

Danger on the streets! Lock up your children! There’s not a moment to spare. Australians demonstrate their stupidity and complete lack of class by proposing fucked up names for satellites. And in an effort to become relevant to important media issues, a food review. This episode’s lead topic is the report that NSW Police are lecturing parents who let their children walk to the shops or catch a bus...

Residents of the depressingly tight-sphinctered Melbourne suburb of Prahran torture their dogs. True. And it’s ugly. Also this week, Australia gets a new masthead for quality journalism, and everyone goes all wet and judgemental. Something something football on the internet. And I finish all the things that I meant to do on New Year’s Eve but didn’t. Despite being recorded more than five weeks aft...

Tonight we’re doing what every other media outlet does. A look back at the year. The big stories. From earthquakes and cyclones to royal weddings and the descent of TV stars into madness. All through the eyes of the media and, since it’s 2011, through the eyes of fucking Twitter. In this episode you’ll hear what I think about the Sydney Morning Herald’s review of 2011 and Charlie Brooker and his d...

Prime Minister Julia Gillard delivers the world’s most tedious Christmas Message. A motorists organisation wants the world to be more predictable, just like it used to be. And Twitter wins the hearts and minds of the world’s media, the puppets. In this episode you’ll hear what I think about the Prime Minister’s Christmas Message, which doesn’t hold a candle to my own Christmas Message from 2008, l...

World’s most impatient meth cook found in Oklahoma. She couldn’t even wait to get home. Australians are self-obsessed entitled wankers. And won’t someone think of the children? Senator Conroy dropped the f-bomb on national television! I think he did it deliberately. Watch the video and see for yourself. Also, Australians are a bunch of wankers with an inflated sense of entitlement. We are the rich...

Homosexuals are special. They can vote people out of their club. Heterosexuals whine that their institutionalised racist breeder-money has been cut by, gosh, seven percent. (Hi, Sherlock!) And the three stages of Top Gun and more from the CBS Interactive Christmas Party. In this disturbing and long-overdue return of The 9pm Edict podcast, you’ll hear about the legal problems with the 2008 Gay Soft...

Westpac forgets that banks are meant to be about trust, and just bullshits us during a major outage. Sony too. Snake-oil salesfolk tell us gamification will solve all our needs. Bugger the morals. And idiots imagine that Twitter is like CNN, somehow. Yes The 9pm Edict podcast has returned after an hiatus of nine months. Just like pregnancy. But let’s not go there. Where I do go is gamification, an...

Australia’s federal election campaign kicks off in a flurry of clichés. And the instant-continuous news media battle to be relevant. Given that we’ve got a federal election campaign on our hands, I figured I’d resurrect The 9pm Edict podcast. And here it is. Episode notes and full credits are at: https://stilgherrian.com/edict/00012/

A criminal is dead, and Australian media dances on his grave. Another man dies after being chucked out of the country — but he’s a criminal too, so who cares? And something about a volcano and aeroplanes. After a ridiculously long break, here is episode 11 of The 9pm Edict. Enjoy. Episode notes and full credits are at: https://stilgherrian.com/edict/00011/

The media totally misrepresents the real risks to our lives. Senator Conroy totally misrepresents the facts. Again. And the government literally makes my life more painful. Here is episode 10 of The 9pm Edict. Episode notes and full credits are at: https://stilgherrian.com/edict/00010/

Media make a big fuss over a racing driver. Senator Conroy stumbles through another media appearance. And some lame Victorian politician can’t cope with the word “dickhead”. The dickhead. Here is episode 9 of The 9pm Edict. Episode notes and full credits at: https://stilgherrian.com/edict/00009/

Google takes on China. Internet heavies and clueful people rip into Australia’s mandatory censorship plan. And Senator Conroy says he will release the NBN report… in May. Here is episode 8 of The 9pm Edict. Episode notes and full credits are at: https://stilgherrian.com/edict/00008/

The world’s sole remaining super power gets a healthcare system. Channel 10 pushes the heteronormative agenda. And Barry O’Farrell invents an entirely new criminal justice system based on who knows what. Hello, possums! It’s late, but here’s an episode of The 9pm Edict. Episode notes and full credits are at: https://stilgherrian.com/edict/00007/

School anti-bullying programs make life difficult for the US Army. Senator Conroy illustrates the Rudd government’s non-commitment to transparent by not releasing the NBN report. And some weird-arsed stoush erupts between Australia and Encyclopaedia Dramatica. So, it’s Friday night and The 9pm Edict is late. Do you care? Really? Here it is anyway. Episode notes and full credits at: https://stilghe...

Australia’s smartest meth dealer found in Leichhardt. ABC chairman Maurice Newman branches out into staff supervision. And Sydney property developers whine because, well, they just didn’t automatically get everything their own way. Here, ladies and gentlemen, no more than 20 minutes late, is episode 5 of The 9pm Edict. Finally. Episode notes and full credits at: https://stilgherrian.com/edict/0000...

Kristina Keneally confuses mindless populism with leadership. The nimby-burghers of Glebe confuse concerns about the urban environment with selfishness. And the Vivid Festival… another white middle class baby boomer nostalgia wankfest. Here, ladies and gentlemen, is episode 4 of The 9pm Edict. Finally. Episode notes and full credit at: https://stilgherrian.com/edict/00004/

A tsunami devastates Australia’s Twitter tragics. People continue to die in politically inconvenient accidents. And Dennis Shanahan is a disingenuous… you’ll find out the word I use. That’s not news, that’s just an observation. Despite the lag, here is episode 3 of The 9pm Edict. Finally. Episode notes and full credits at: https://stilgherrian.com/edict/00003/

Labor Party dissent over internet censorship goes public. Shock horror: modern vigilantes use Facebook. And the interim Premier of New South Wales says a precedent is not actually a precedent. Ladies and Gentlemen, despite the appalling service of the #badoptus network, here is episode 2 of The 9pm Edict. Finally. Full episode notes and credits at: https://stilgherrian.com/edict/00002/

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present for your edification and amusement, episode 1 of The 9pm Edict. “Peter Garrett resists calls for his resignation. #nocleanfeed monomaniacs get up my nose. And some strongly-worded stuff about the Premier of NSW and Sydney’s public transport,” it begins. Kinda. Yes, this is my new podcast project. Tonight is the first of 20 episodes, to be posted every Monday and Wed...